This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

50 views
Smug fucking emails where you want to act like I'M dumb

Comments Showing 1-19 of 19 (19 new)    post a comment »
dateUp arrow    newest »

message 1: by smetchie (last edited Jan 21, 2010 11:09AM) (new)

smetchie | 5729 comments Ok I suck at math and I don't try to pretend otherwise. So when someone starts questioning the validity of my formulas, I'm not really able to explain why I'm right. I know it's right because it fucking works ok? But I don't know WHY it's right in the same way I don't know WHY the "on" button actually makes the TV light up. Anyway I'm fucking pissed right now. I got this email from one of our vendors asking me how much a certain fee is. (this is a fee that we add to the price of an item)

her: "Is the fee .00075?"

me: "It's 3/4 of a percent"
(because that makes more sense to my math-deficient brain!)

her: "Just confirming that the fee is .00075 and not .0075"

me: "The fee is 3/4 of 1%. So we calculate it like this: base price x 1.0075"

(see here? I'm trying to be helpful by giving her the actual formula we use in case she wants to run some numbers and match stuff up which is the only reason I can think of for asking questions using zeros and decimal points instead of just regular terms like 3/4 of a fucking percent!!!) Now here comes the smug part!

her: "Ok, so something that is your published price of $99,500 ends up being customer price of $199,746? I think your formula is incorrect. I think its .00075"

Tell me why the fuck people ask me questions that they smugly already know the answer to!!! You want me to freak out and take a fucking hostage you dumb dumb bitch??

me: "Math has never been my strong suit but on my calculator $99,500 X 1.0075 = $100,246.25. The fee is .0075"

Does anyone reading this have a calculator? Is mine working the same way as yours?

her response?
"Me either. Thanks"

ME EITHER?!?!?! Should I just shoot myself or what? If math isn't your strong suit (nor English, apparently) why do you send me a smug email telling me MY formula is wrong?



message 2: by Rusty (last edited Jan 21, 2010 11:01AM) (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Okay, early this morning I received the email below. I used to work in the other building, and had access to a storage room. The guy that let me use the storage room (as a favor to me) told me not to give out the combination.

Rusty,

We need the Dollies what is the combo so we can get the keys to open the storage room to get the Dollies?

Regards,

Ron (Numbnuts, semi-literate, semi big-wig)


And these continued throughout the day; various emails from people with wigs of varying sizes, telling me to give them the combination, although I had just explained to the guy that contacted me minutes before that I was not authorized to give out the combo (there have been problems in the past), and had given him the name of the other individuals (who were actually on-site) that knew the combo.

So it has finally been resolved because someone finally bothered to contact one of the people whose name I had given, and he opened the door for them. But now I’m the bad guy, because I wasted their time. Well, please do me the honor sucking it.



message 3: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5729 comments So, what's the combo? Can you just tell us?


message 4: by Rusty (new)

Rusty (rustyshackleford) | 2198 comments Fine. I'll go ahead and IM it to everybody.


message 5: by smetchie (last edited Jan 21, 2010 11:39AM) (new)

smetchie | 5729 comments "Me either."


(this is my new stock dumb response whenever I can't think of something clever to say.)


message 6: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) I don't know that i see that email exchange as being smug, Greachen. I see it as more "I'm confused and incompetent please 'splain it to me."


message 7: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5729 comments You might be right Tom. It's just the tone when she says "so you are adding a fee that brings the price from ninety thousand to one hundred and ninety thousand? I think your formula is wrong." She didn't even try my formula!! UGH!

Ok, I think you're right. I'm just bitter today.


message 8: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! | 443 comments Gretchen, I think she has fat fingers and typed in 2.0075 then blamed you for her sausage hands. Because really, 199746 is not correct unless you are a child with no sense of numerical proportion.


message 9: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5729 comments Oh yeah!! That would give her that stupid number. Thanks for solving that.


message 10: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu Damn, Ae! You beat me to it!


message 11: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! | 443 comments I'm just holding it down for you to punch further!


message 12: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu A mathematician's rage is difficult to contain...


message 13: by [deleted user] (new)

Me either.


message 14: by Eh?Eh! (new)

Eh?Eh! | 443 comments Hahaa! Perfect! Uh, me either. Damn, now I'm an echo.


message 15: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5729 comments I crafted this thread specifically for you, Matt. You were nowhere, though.


message 16: by Matthieu (new)

Matthieu I'm sorry, Gretchen! :( I was out the entire day.


message 17: by smetchie (last edited Jan 22, 2010 10:13AM) (new)

smetchie | 5729 comments HALF-COCKED! I should have said she fired off a half-cocked email about my incorrect formulas. Because I still havnen't found a valid excuse to use that phrase! And even if her smugness was questionable, her half-cockedness was most certainly NOT!


Reads with Scotch obsess much? I think it is time to build a bridge, and get over it.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -6 comments Fuck! How did I miss this thread! Its awesome!


back to top