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(>*-*)>Cʅαɾα αɳԃ Aʅʅιҽ'ʂ Lσʂƚ Jσυɾɳαʅ<(*-*<)
there's going to be multiple parts too.
Mod
Okay first: This is basically my life. The way it was and how it has changed.
Now that I'm back I would like to share something with you guys. Something that I hope will help you in some way. The past few months have been the most eye opening months I have ever experienced and they made me feel so silly for being the way I was before. It’s lengthy and if you’re like me you won’t read it because that’s a lot of reading xD And some of you may think it’s fake or stupid but I want you to know it’s all true. Very true. And it’s actually pretty hard to tell you some of this stuff because there are some things in here that…no one knew because the thoughts I had were just too cynical.
But I don’t regret anything that has happened I’m glad I went through all of this crap because the outcome is indescribable.
Also it’s really messy because my thoughts are messy…so I write messy. Hehe. And I added things as things happened so it may seem incredibly random xD ;3
I suppose I shall start at the beginning. I always used to have a nice amount of friends throughout my years in school. Sometimes we’d grow apart but I always had someone because having someone was important to me. But I liked one on one friendships and people didn’t want to stay around for that because they all kept finding someone better or more interesting. I used to keep my head up and I was a little sassy toward the people I loved and quite rude to people I didn't know because for some reason I thought I was a little better than them. I was still me though on the outside. I was nice to others and smiled to people as I walked by but I always felt like my heart wasn’t as golden and sweet as people would tell me. In…I think December, I started being more quiet and secluded and I started crying for no reason and I started losing friends. They left without a word and I was losing my focus in school as I thought about how miserable I was beginning to feel. So, I decided to get back online hoping I could find people that felt as alone as I did. I found some amazing friends and they made me feel better for a while. I could lose myself online and think that all I needed was here. (Now what I'm saying is not that I don't love every single one of you I'm only saying something was missing something no one could give me. It was like I was missing a certain kind of love. A love that could not be given to me by just some other person.) The happiness didn't last long though because the sadness of my friends started to tug on me. Even though I was surrounded by wonderful people that I loved I still felt alone. I felt like I wasn't loved. (Of course I was wrong but the love I needed couldn't be found here) My head started hurting more often. I was having terribly rude and sometimes sadistic thoughts. I worried about everyone every second of the day. My grades plummeted. My attitude at home and school started to become sour. And I started hating myself. I hated everything about myself and I mean literally everything. I hated my appearance, my personality, my laugh, my voice, and my heart. I really hated my body though. I felt fat because my parents tease me and say I am. I know most of the time they’re kidding but it started to feel real. I was fat. I was huge in areas I shouldn’t be. I was ugly everywhere. So I stopped eating. I went three days once without anything and it made the sadness worse but it also felt strangely satisfying. Like I had a job to do and that was to cease eating. I documented calories and felt like punishing myself if I ate too much. I hated my inablily to resist eating. Food felt like an enemy to me that I needed to push away and destroy. I went days without eating almost anything. I tried to find the answers in mental diseases I didn't have. I actually wished I had a disorder. I wanted to be broken........For some reason I was becoming attracted to this sadness that ate me away. But I kept failing. Again. And again. Everywhere I seemed to be failing. I failed school, my friends and I couldn’t even stick to some extreme passion of starving myself. I always told myself I wouldn’t let myself get so bad I could see my bones because that’s just…*shudders* but I looked in the mirror one day and I could see my ribs perfectly. I fell to the floor crying and feeling so lost and broken. Who in the world could love me? I was messed up. Right?
Then one day I was feeling pretty lonely because no one else was on so I went through people's pictures and on the side bar where there are pictures of the person's friends there was someone dressed as the Doctor (Zechariah) and we all know me and my obsession with Doctor Who :3 So of course I had to see who it was. :P And so I sent this him a pm and we started to talk and I started to feel a little better. We talked about Doctor Who for a while then ourselves then.... he surprised me a bit by talking about God.
Now that I'm back I would like to share something with you guys. Something that I hope will help you in some way. The past few months have been the most eye opening months I have ever experienced and they made me feel so silly for being the way I was before. It’s lengthy and if you’re like me you won’t read it because that’s a lot of reading xD And some of you may think it’s fake or stupid but I want you to know it’s all true. Very true. And it’s actually pretty hard to tell you some of this stuff because there are some things in here that…no one knew because the thoughts I had were just too cynical.
But I don’t regret anything that has happened I’m glad I went through all of this crap because the outcome is indescribable.
Also it’s really messy because my thoughts are messy…so I write messy. Hehe. And I added things as things happened so it may seem incredibly random xD ;3
I suppose I shall start at the beginning. I always used to have a nice amount of friends throughout my years in school. Sometimes we’d grow apart but I always had someone because having someone was important to me. But I liked one on one friendships and people didn’t want to stay around for that because they all kept finding someone better or more interesting. I used to keep my head up and I was a little sassy toward the people I loved and quite rude to people I didn't know because for some reason I thought I was a little better than them. I was still me though on the outside. I was nice to others and smiled to people as I walked by but I always felt like my heart wasn’t as golden and sweet as people would tell me. In…I think December, I started being more quiet and secluded and I started crying for no reason and I started losing friends. They left without a word and I was losing my focus in school as I thought about how miserable I was beginning to feel. So, I decided to get back online hoping I could find people that felt as alone as I did. I found some amazing friends and they made me feel better for a while. I could lose myself online and think that all I needed was here. (Now what I'm saying is not that I don't love every single one of you I'm only saying something was missing something no one could give me. It was like I was missing a certain kind of love. A love that could not be given to me by just some other person.) The happiness didn't last long though because the sadness of my friends started to tug on me. Even though I was surrounded by wonderful people that I loved I still felt alone. I felt like I wasn't loved. (Of course I was wrong but the love I needed couldn't be found here) My head started hurting more often. I was having terribly rude and sometimes sadistic thoughts. I worried about everyone every second of the day. My grades plummeted. My attitude at home and school started to become sour. And I started hating myself. I hated everything about myself and I mean literally everything. I hated my appearance, my personality, my laugh, my voice, and my heart. I really hated my body though. I felt fat because my parents tease me and say I am. I know most of the time they’re kidding but it started to feel real. I was fat. I was huge in areas I shouldn’t be. I was ugly everywhere. So I stopped eating. I went three days once without anything and it made the sadness worse but it also felt strangely satisfying. Like I had a job to do and that was to cease eating. I documented calories and felt like punishing myself if I ate too much. I hated my inablily to resist eating. Food felt like an enemy to me that I needed to push away and destroy. I went days without eating almost anything. I tried to find the answers in mental diseases I didn't have. I actually wished I had a disorder. I wanted to be broken........For some reason I was becoming attracted to this sadness that ate me away. But I kept failing. Again. And again. Everywhere I seemed to be failing. I failed school, my friends and I couldn’t even stick to some extreme passion of starving myself. I always told myself I wouldn’t let myself get so bad I could see my bones because that’s just…*shudders* but I looked in the mirror one day and I could see my ribs perfectly. I fell to the floor crying and feeling so lost and broken. Who in the world could love me? I was messed up. Right?
Then one day I was feeling pretty lonely because no one else was on so I went through people's pictures and on the side bar where there are pictures of the person's friends there was someone dressed as the Doctor (Zechariah) and we all know me and my obsession with Doctor Who :3 So of course I had to see who it was. :P And so I sent this him a pm and we started to talk and I started to feel a little better. We talked about Doctor Who for a while then ourselves then.... he surprised me a bit by talking about God.
When I was young we almost never went to Church. We had more 'important' things to take care of after my parents divorced. So as I grew into being a teenager I felt like I had really missed out on something but there was also a part of me that thought He was just a story for children. We went to Church a bit more during these times but it still felt like something just wasn't authentic about it. I mean yes we were there but I don't think my heart was truly in it. So we stopped going again. And during this time I was here sympathizing with people and wondering why God could let them be this sad and this upset and this hurt. It started to hurt me that it looked like He had just left them and I felt like I had to be the one to help them to help them see how incredible they are and how wonderfully talented they are. I think I was almost trying take on His task of loving people and caring for them and reminding them they were wanted. I wanted to save them like He could. I got to see them fall in to a bit of happiness. It felt amazing to help but I wasn't a perfect fix. I was only a Band-Aid and many of them need/ed stitches. It made me mad that I didn't have the power to fix them up just the way they needed to be. It hurt that I was suddenly not good enough for the friends I loved. It felt like they thought I was but to me I was only failing them because I couldn’t do what God could do for them.
But through this I was still talking to Zechariah and every time we spoke things got a little better. He wasn't showering me in compliments to change my mind so I mean it wasn’t that things were better because some boy was giving me attention. He was telling me how I was loved by someone that could see past every flaw I could ever see and every time I messed up He still loved me. But then I was told by my parents that I needed to get off here and stop being depressed which I instantly denied. It is considered a really stupid thing to be at my house. My parents think that if you’re sad you should just be happy instead. There isn’t a such thing as depression just sadness and that can all be fixed if you just stop. Everyone should be happy because that makes everyone else happy the end. There is no sadness so deep that you lose energy. Anyway, I was really wrong I was becoming depressed. As everyone knows I didn't stick to their wishes so I was told to leave completely and that hurt a lot. I wouldn't be able to talk to my friends. I was going to have to sit here and be completely alone and they were going to be alone and it really really hurt to think that they would be upset. I had no way to help you guys or let you know you were loved and it scared me.
I kept a way to contact with Zechariah for a little while but we decided we should stop talking as well since the whole point of me leaving was so that I could get my school work done and not focus on my friends. But I couldn't leave even when he wasn’t replying anymore. I kept coming back and telling him how horrible things were while I was crying and screaming at myself as I clawed my arms and legs and cried in the shower and starved myself because it felt better to have a hungry stomach But Zechariah wouldn't speak because we had said we wouldn't. He listened but that was all he could do. I started to want to die. I truly wanted to kill myself. I wanted to stop being stupid I wanted my family to love me again but that wasn't going to happen. I wanted to die. I wanted to rip myself apart in those moments. I felt so incredibly small and insignificant. I would claw at myself and bite myself and toss and turn and have horrid nightmares where everyone left me. (Those were some terrifying nightmares that would leave me feeling even more useless and unwanted then before) I would lie in bed and curl up into a ball and just pull at myself hoping something or someone would kill me. I wanted to cut myself until there wasn't anything left because I was worthless. I, who had told people that I loved to not cut, wanted to. But... God had a purpose for me right? I began to wonder if He even cared about me. It felt like He had been silent for so long but after a few nights of crying myself to sleep I realized I hadn't been listening. He had been talking to me and I just ignored it. I didn't know it was Him I thought everything I was feeling wasn't going to end but I felt that way because someone wanted me to so I would leave God and I started to. I started convincing myself that maybe He wasn't here. It was like the sadder I became the more problems showed up. Kind of like I was being punished or having to pay for something. Maybe having to pay for pushing Him away. Not by Him but... someone else. But it still felt like God was allowing all of these horrid things to happen to me... Didn't He love me?
But through this I was still talking to Zechariah and every time we spoke things got a little better. He wasn't showering me in compliments to change my mind so I mean it wasn’t that things were better because some boy was giving me attention. He was telling me how I was loved by someone that could see past every flaw I could ever see and every time I messed up He still loved me. But then I was told by my parents that I needed to get off here and stop being depressed which I instantly denied. It is considered a really stupid thing to be at my house. My parents think that if you’re sad you should just be happy instead. There isn’t a such thing as depression just sadness and that can all be fixed if you just stop. Everyone should be happy because that makes everyone else happy the end. There is no sadness so deep that you lose energy. Anyway, I was really wrong I was becoming depressed. As everyone knows I didn't stick to their wishes so I was told to leave completely and that hurt a lot. I wouldn't be able to talk to my friends. I was going to have to sit here and be completely alone and they were going to be alone and it really really hurt to think that they would be upset. I had no way to help you guys or let you know you were loved and it scared me.
I kept a way to contact with Zechariah for a little while but we decided we should stop talking as well since the whole point of me leaving was so that I could get my school work done and not focus on my friends. But I couldn't leave even when he wasn’t replying anymore. I kept coming back and telling him how horrible things were while I was crying and screaming at myself as I clawed my arms and legs and cried in the shower and starved myself because it felt better to have a hungry stomach But Zechariah wouldn't speak because we had said we wouldn't. He listened but that was all he could do. I started to want to die. I truly wanted to kill myself. I wanted to stop being stupid I wanted my family to love me again but that wasn't going to happen. I wanted to die. I wanted to rip myself apart in those moments. I felt so incredibly small and insignificant. I would claw at myself and bite myself and toss and turn and have horrid nightmares where everyone left me. (Those were some terrifying nightmares that would leave me feeling even more useless and unwanted then before) I would lie in bed and curl up into a ball and just pull at myself hoping something or someone would kill me. I wanted to cut myself until there wasn't anything left because I was worthless. I, who had told people that I loved to not cut, wanted to. But... God had a purpose for me right? I began to wonder if He even cared about me. It felt like He had been silent for so long but after a few nights of crying myself to sleep I realized I hadn't been listening. He had been talking to me and I just ignored it. I didn't know it was Him I thought everything I was feeling wasn't going to end but I felt that way because someone wanted me to so I would leave God and I started to. I started convincing myself that maybe He wasn't here. It was like the sadder I became the more problems showed up. Kind of like I was being punished or having to pay for something. Maybe having to pay for pushing Him away. Not by Him but... someone else. But it still felt like God was allowing all of these horrid things to happen to me... Didn't He love me?
And Zechariah, jeez :3, he kept pushing me toward God. He told me that I wasn't the one that I should hate and at the time that I was crying I didn't really care...I actually just wanted him to save me to make it all stop. But that's what I have been doing for a long time. Looking to people to save me and make me better and hold me and I wanted someone to love me completely and gosh. I have been so blind. Or maybe just not quite understanding. I mean we have all heard God loves us. Yeah okay... and Jesus died on the cross for us... alright? I got it that he saved us but I didn’t really see how that should affect my life. Right? Well that's how I felt. It all just felt like stories you tell a child. But I wanted to believe in them. In my heart I really did but it wasn't 'cool' and I care a lot about what people think so I thought that I would continue things the way it was.
So anyway I told Zechariah goodnight and that'd I would be fine. (lies...I was screaming.)
In the morning I read what Zechariah had posted again and I decided to be nice and be a good person but it fell through when my mom walked in. I had a lot of hate toward her....I mean it was really strong. And yeah she's not the best but... that's okay I mean she tries (even if it's quite minimal now) and she does love us she just doesn't think we're her main focus. And that's okay! I don't really mind anymore :) And not in a sarcastic way I'm just not seeking for her approval any longer.
So I decided to get on Pinterest that day because I felt like posting things like "I hate food" "kill me because my life is a black hole of sorrow" “I may secretly be hoping that if I stop eating I’ll float away” and things like that but you know what? Quotes about God kept popping up. And at first I was slightly frustrated. I was kind of content in my sad loneliness...I was feeling something right? But after like the seventh one I gave up and looked up things about God instead. Some pins said things like “When you’re lonely it just means God wants time with you.” “Do one thing that brings you closer to God everyday” “The right guy should pull you toward God not distract you from Him”.... and things actually started to make sense..... like the whole God loves us kind of thing? I get it. No matter what we do He still loves us. It doesn’t matter how or what you’re like He loves you. Even if you don’t believe in Him or don’t understand Him he loves you. Even if you think you’re the worst person on the planet because your thoughts aren’t pure He still loves you. (My thoughts were pretty bad for a while but after everything they have been wayyyy better ) I can't even fully explain but I get it! He gave his one and only child to ME! Do you understand this?! He forgives me for everything because of this sacrifice! Someone... someone so incredibly important and holy loves me!!! I didn't think anyone really loved me anymore. My father hated my mood and my mother hated my grades and they both yelled all the time but... it suddenly didn't matter...I don't even know exactly how but it didn't. It’s just like I am loved really truly loved even when there's car oil on my face, when my hair is stringy looking, when my makeup is melting someone still loves me... and to think I have been looking for a guy to feel this way! This is not a love that can be replaced by some guy. No way. This is..it's just so much more and I wish I was good at explaining things XD so anyways I started to understand it was like all of those silly things we do we should be doing it for Him not for all the people around us because their opinions just don't matter as much. God's opinion is the only one I really truly care about now. Okay so this felt awesome but I was worried it would fade...
So anyway I told Zechariah goodnight and that'd I would be fine. (lies...I was screaming.)
In the morning I read what Zechariah had posted again and I decided to be nice and be a good person but it fell through when my mom walked in. I had a lot of hate toward her....I mean it was really strong. And yeah she's not the best but... that's okay I mean she tries (even if it's quite minimal now) and she does love us she just doesn't think we're her main focus. And that's okay! I don't really mind anymore :) And not in a sarcastic way I'm just not seeking for her approval any longer.
So I decided to get on Pinterest that day because I felt like posting things like "I hate food" "kill me because my life is a black hole of sorrow" “I may secretly be hoping that if I stop eating I’ll float away” and things like that but you know what? Quotes about God kept popping up. And at first I was slightly frustrated. I was kind of content in my sad loneliness...I was feeling something right? But after like the seventh one I gave up and looked up things about God instead. Some pins said things like “When you’re lonely it just means God wants time with you.” “Do one thing that brings you closer to God everyday” “The right guy should pull you toward God not distract you from Him”.... and things actually started to make sense..... like the whole God loves us kind of thing? I get it. No matter what we do He still loves us. It doesn’t matter how or what you’re like He loves you. Even if you don’t believe in Him or don’t understand Him he loves you. Even if you think you’re the worst person on the planet because your thoughts aren’t pure He still loves you. (My thoughts were pretty bad for a while but after everything they have been wayyyy better ) I can't even fully explain but I get it! He gave his one and only child to ME! Do you understand this?! He forgives me for everything because of this sacrifice! Someone... someone so incredibly important and holy loves me!!! I didn't think anyone really loved me anymore. My father hated my mood and my mother hated my grades and they both yelled all the time but... it suddenly didn't matter...I don't even know exactly how but it didn't. It’s just like I am loved really truly loved even when there's car oil on my face, when my hair is stringy looking, when my makeup is melting someone still loves me... and to think I have been looking for a guy to feel this way! This is not a love that can be replaced by some guy. No way. This is..it's just so much more and I wish I was good at explaining things XD so anyways I started to understand it was like all of those silly things we do we should be doing it for Him not for all the people around us because their opinions just don't matter as much. God's opinion is the only one I really truly care about now. Okay so this felt awesome but I was worried it would fade...
I woke up the next day smiling. My makeup went on perfectly and my hair looked nice enough. Okay maybe it looked bad and I just didn’t care anymore. So I got in the car and we drove to school (it's like an hour drive :P) and I had my headphones in listening to Taylor Swift (Clean to be exact :3 ) and looking out the window. I started thinking about the things I read and how God helped us throughout our days and how thankful we should be that our souls are pure because of Jesus and I thought about how in order to repay him for this or really to truly say thank you all we had to do was follow God. That's it! And then...I don't know if this is normal or anything but (as I watched the sunrise) the world slowly turned gold and everything became so incredibly beautiful. It felt like time slowed down for a second and I could see the beauty in everything we take for granted. Like the trees suddenly weren’t just trees they had life and the wind danced through the sky and the little spring flowers flew through the air. God made that ...and that ...and that! With His hands! And oh my gosh that feeling and sight I had was so overwhelming I started crying and it was a rare kind of cry for me. Tears of Joy. :3
And uh if that's not something that happens to everyone when they understand things... I'm thinking it may have been my guardian angel noticing that I was getting things and he/she asked God if they could show me how they see things and God agreed as long as it was only for a moment and it was this was quite brief. So he/she touched my eyes and I saw things that way but it became a bit too much which may be why after I cried a bit it faded.
And now it's like nothing matters anymore. We’re stuck in traffic? Okay…let’s be patient maybe we’re stopped for a good reason. My day is going horribly? That’s okay I’m going to laugh and still going to turn to God. I'm hungry but I don't want to be fat? Okay well I'm going to eat because I need to keep myself healthy. How am I supposed to fulfill my purpose in life if I can't even hold myself?
Jesus died for you. He died for me and you. Have you seen the images of the torture He went through? And for what? You. For you to be able to live your life and not have to worry that if you fail in some areas because God is going to forgive you as long as you tried and you're sorry. You can't just run around and be a horrible person then just say sorry though. Sure He'll forgive you but something will be missing it won't feel right because you're not sorry in your heart. And sometimes you’re failure just means that you’re getting to something else that is way better.
And uh if that's not something that happens to everyone when they understand things... I'm thinking it may have been my guardian angel noticing that I was getting things and he/she asked God if they could show me how they see things and God agreed as long as it was only for a moment and it was this was quite brief. So he/she touched my eyes and I saw things that way but it became a bit too much which may be why after I cried a bit it faded.
And now it's like nothing matters anymore. We’re stuck in traffic? Okay…let’s be patient maybe we’re stopped for a good reason. My day is going horribly? That’s okay I’m going to laugh and still going to turn to God. I'm hungry but I don't want to be fat? Okay well I'm going to eat because I need to keep myself healthy. How am I supposed to fulfill my purpose in life if I can't even hold myself?
Jesus died for you. He died for me and you. Have you seen the images of the torture He went through? And for what? You. For you to be able to live your life and not have to worry that if you fail in some areas because God is going to forgive you as long as you tried and you're sorry. You can't just run around and be a horrible person then just say sorry though. Sure He'll forgive you but something will be missing it won't feel right because you're not sorry in your heart. And sometimes you’re failure just means that you’re getting to something else that is way better.
I’ll admit it I’m not a ‘perfect’ Christian or anything. We don’t go to church every Sunday, I haven’t memorized verses, and I haven’t even read the whole bible but I still know God loves me and cares about me and my life and he has a plan and a place for me and I know that I’ll do anything to fulfill his plan.
Also the point of me telling you this isn’t so I can promote Pinterst or anything xD that just where I found some help and through someone and through myself. I guess it’s just whatever it works for you. (maybe it’s this :3)
Feel free to ask any questions I would love to answer them and if you don’t want to post them here then you can definitely pm me You guys probably know you can trust me by now so you know I won’t tell anyone about our conversation :)
And I believe that everyone goes through things for a reason. If your life feels like it has become so horrid that you don’t think it will ever change then it’s time to consider this. And I’d say the first step is open your heart. God isn’t like people so stop thinking that He’ll just leave like everyone else. He isn’t just going to abandon you or hurt you. He’s not going to decide you’re not good enough because you are and always will be to Him. Like this : http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736... And I saw something a while back…oh here it is : http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736...
Okay I think I should probably put some of the things that helped me understand everything. Some are things I read others are pictures with quotes and things and if he’ll let me I’ll put some of what Zechariah said.
• Believing with your heart and not just your head
• https://gallery.mailchimp.com/11bb60a...
• https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/...
• https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/...
• http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/ori...
• And then there’s this :3 : http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736...
•
In case you’re interested here are some articles or websites I found (afterward):
• http://www.everystudent.com/wires/ath...
• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-m...
• http://www.triciagoyer.com/7-ways-kno...
This is a nice app you could use for the Bible: http://www.olivetree.com/
Songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNS7G...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA6lC...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_J34...
And this one has been in my head for forever and I don’t know why…and it seem to be played everywhere:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSxoc...
Also the point of me telling you this isn’t so I can promote Pinterst or anything xD that just where I found some help and through someone and through myself. I guess it’s just whatever it works for you. (maybe it’s this :3)
Feel free to ask any questions I would love to answer them and if you don’t want to post them here then you can definitely pm me You guys probably know you can trust me by now so you know I won’t tell anyone about our conversation :)
And I believe that everyone goes through things for a reason. If your life feels like it has become so horrid that you don’t think it will ever change then it’s time to consider this. And I’d say the first step is open your heart. God isn’t like people so stop thinking that He’ll just leave like everyone else. He isn’t just going to abandon you or hurt you. He’s not going to decide you’re not good enough because you are and always will be to Him. Like this : http://media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/736... And I saw something a while back…oh here it is : http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736...
Okay I think I should probably put some of the things that helped me understand everything. Some are things I read others are pictures with quotes and things and if he’ll let me I’ll put some of what Zechariah said.
• Believing with your heart and not just your head
• https://gallery.mailchimp.com/11bb60a...
• https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/...
• https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/...
• http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/ori...
• And then there’s this :3 : http://media-cache-ec0.pinimg.com/736...
•
In case you’re interested here are some articles or websites I found (afterward):
• http://www.everystudent.com/wires/ath...
• http://www.huffingtonpost.com/steve-m...
• http://www.triciagoyer.com/7-ways-kno...
This is a nice app you could use for the Bible: http://www.olivetree.com/
Songs:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mNS7G...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FA6lC...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=V_J34...
And this one has been in my head for forever and I don’t know why…and it seem to be played everywhere:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vSxoc...
αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "Okay the end :)"
*hugs tightly* :)
*hugs tightly* :)
Mod
Oh. I can't remember if I said it in there but I love all of you I've talked to and I want to thank you for everything. Even if you don't like me I still love you and want to thank you.
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What are you thereforeing? :O
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Therefore you must not leave for the reason of people hating you.
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Sadly yes. I'll miss you guys. :(
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Haha. Caitlyn I'm too stubborn to have my mind changed.
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I don't know I guess I've done what I can.
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Allie, I'm very glad you found something that makes you happy :) And you're 100% right, being aware that God loves you makes the world about a million times more beautiful.
Um, look, I know I may have been kind of freaking out earlier when I was trying to get you not to leave but I just want you to know that I was being a little selfish then. I want you to be happy, and because of that I support you no matter what. Just as long as you promise to send me a quick email every now and then :)
Um, look, I know I may have been kind of freaking out earlier when I was trying to get you not to leave but I just want you to know that I was being a little selfish then. I want you to be happy, and because of that I support you no matter what. Just as long as you promise to send me a quick email every now and then :)
It's okay Ayah. I would have been the same way with you. :)
Thank you for supporting me. *hugs* :3
Thank you for supporting me. *hugs* :3
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αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "*Hugs* :3"
:)
:)
Yeah. I'm not good at that though. I'll run to them and try to fix things again.
My eye hurts so much. It's like it's just so tired. XP
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Lօɾἶ ~Ƭнєяє'ѕ Hσρє ǀη Ƒяσηт Oƒ Mє...~ wrote: "αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "*Hugs* :3"
:)"
:)
:)"
:)
αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "My eye hurts so much. It's like it's just so tired. XP"
I stay up late too much, thinking. I got so many bags under my eyes...
I stay up late too much, thinking. I got so many bags under my eyes...
Cαiтℓуn ~ £ife is not a §napshot ~ wrote: "That's fine, I did the same THREE times. (Yea, I'm a little dumb I know) But I learned how to do it where I respectfully take them out of my life and have another person for some time keep me in ch..."
That's awesome Caitlyn. :)
That's awesome Caitlyn. :)
Wαη∂єяєя wrote: "Just one eye...?"
Yup. I cried for like 36 hours straight (ish) and I got pink eye. :/
Yup. I cried for like 36 hours straight (ish) and I got pink eye. :/
Lօɾἶ ~Ƭнєяє'ѕ Hσρє ǀη Ƒяσηт Oƒ Mє...~ wrote: "αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "My eye hurts so much. It's like it's just so tired. XP"
I stay up late too much, thinking. I got so many bags under..."
Aww. I'm sorry.
I stay up late too much, thinking. I got so many bags under..."
Aww. I'm sorry.
αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "Wαη∂єяєя wrote: "Just one eye...?"
Yup. I cried for like 36 hours straight (ish) and I got pink eye. :/"
Thats a rewlly long time /:
Yup. I cried for like 36 hours straight (ish) and I got pink eye. :/"
Thats a rewlly long time /:
αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "Lօɾἶ ~Ƭнєяє'ѕ Hσρє ǀη Ƒяσηт Oƒ Mє...~ wrote: "αƖƖιє ✳ ǀ ɗση'т кησω нσω тσ вє ѕσмєтнιηg уσυ'ɗ мιѕѕ ✳ (I'm halfway gone) wrote: "My eye hurts so much. It's like it's just so tired. XP"
I stay up lat..."
Nah, don't be sorry! It gives me time to pray too!
I stay up lat..."
Nah, don't be sorry! It gives me time to pray too!
I'm posting it...O.O
I was going to edit some parts but...I decided not to.