This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
I hate that Montambo told me I need to lose 10 lbs! And by the way, I'm totally lying!
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High protein/very low carb diet. Broccoli. Water. 15,000 sit-ups. Walk instead of drive when possible.
Hmm, I was thinking of seeing whether or not I could ditch the bike this week & get around on the bike solamente. 15,000? 1,500 a day? Hmm...maybe...
There I was just kidding. Hundred a day is more reasonable.
So what I need to know is, short of drug abuse/amputation of non vital limbs/purging etc.I noticed you left contracting dysentery off the list, so let's make that my advice.
Always glad to help.
Dave
From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Dysentery (formerly known as flux or the bloody flux) is a disorder of the digestive system that results in severe diarrhea containing mucus and/or blood in the feces.[1:] If left untreated, dysentery can be fatal.<--That'll show her!!
Tragically, Wiki gave no tips on how to contract it.
Dysentery (formerly known as flux or the bloody flux) is a disorder of the digestive system that results in severe diarrhea containing mucus and/or blood in the feces.[1:] If left untreated, dysentery can be fatal.<--That'll show her!!
Tragically, Wiki gave no tips on how to contract it.
I suspect that there's got to be a better way than giving yourself over to something called "the bloody flux."
Well here, I'm sure there's something out there for you...
Good grief, you can't slander me like this!! That is not how it went down. And because you chose to slander me, they're going to hear exactly how it did go down:
Steve: So, if I lose 10 more pounds, I'll reach my initial goal.
Me: Don't lose more than more ten pounds; you'll get too skinny and look yucky.
Steve: I can't believe you think I need to lose ten pounds! You're brutal, Montambo.
There you go. My name is cleared. I think you people know who to believe here.
Steve: So, if I lose 10 more pounds, I'll reach my initial goal.
Me: Don't lose more than more ten pounds; you'll get too skinny and look yucky.
Steve: I can't believe you think I need to lose ten pounds! You're brutal, Montambo.
There you go. My name is cleared. I think you people know who to believe here.
I was gonna say, that doesn't sound too much like the Montambo I know...but then again it's the internet, ya never know...
For the record, I don't think Steve needs to lose any more weight. But he kinda acts like a teenage girl about this kinda stuff, as you can clearly see.
Man you guys are lame. It's so easy! I have the simplest, sure-fire way to lose 10 pounds in 10 days. It doesn't involve exercise or [edit:] complicated diets or drugs or diseases or long division.[end edit:] In addition, I guarantee that my method will work. You might even lose MORE than 10 pounds. Are you ready for it? Man this is awesome. Here it comes:DO NOT EAT.
I think that counts as a diet though. Diet...TO THE EXTREME!! ::wailing electric guitar solo::
there I fixed it. sheesh, you can't get away with anything around here.
Hmm...I've been reading a bunch of that Thich Nhat Hanh guy lately, and those Buudhists do dig on the fasting..I'll let you know how it goes!
*obligatory*If you really want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat, you can always cut your head off.
BunWat wrote: "Ten pounds in a week? Hmmm. I suggest drinking as much water as you possibly can for a day or more, weighing yourself, then taking a diuretic and doing a whole lot of peeing then weighing yoursel..."Steve! You heard the woman! And remember bunny knows it all!!! Drink deep my N*##@% drink deep… =)
Shave your head! Cut your nails! There's a couple ounces right there.
I say try to masturbate and put or your spunk in a can/bottle or something and when you hit 10 pounds of steve juice put it on a stand as proof of your power!
Sell a kidney, that's at least a pound or two, plus you can make like a hundred grand or so on the black market.
You don't really need your appendix either, but there's no cash in that as far as I know.
Lori wrote: "Just take a couple of good poops. "GREAT IDEA!! Can I also suggest enemas???
The gall bladder is also unnecessary. Worthless financially too.
Montambo wrote: " "See tambo that’s exactly how I felt that time y’all try to convince me to wear my cousin’s panties as a hat!!! I’ve been waiting since that day for my revenge…. Now the day is finally here!
Tom wrote: "If you really want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat, you can always cut your head off."I was going to say: cut off your right leg, but this, here, Tom, is a much better advice. Not to mention, you beat me to it. You all did.
Harry wrote: "The gall bladder is also unnecessary. Worthless financially too."Or you can grow a nasty tumor and have it cut out*.
___________________________
*It is advisory to use big doses of radiation to help and speed up the process.
OK results so far...
Last night was the final night of debauchery for the coming week & since it ended with a 3am meal of Mushroom/Cheese omelette w/hash browns & sourdough toast, I was pretty concerned about stepping on the scale this morning.
With good reason Ouch.179. (Darn you Hotcake House!)
Lori wrote: "Just take a couple of good poops. "
Fortunately Lori was right, Post Poop? 178 (thx Lori!)
Montambo Wrote: "Shave your head! Cut your nails! There's a couple ounces right there"
I was contemplating the fact that this means no booze for the next week & I'd be lying if I said that the thought of shaving my head a'la V for Vendetta style didn't come to mind. I'm going to 'manscaping' instead first & we'll see if that does the trick.
BunWat wrote: "Ten pounds in a week? Hmmm. I suggest drinking as much water as you possibly can for a day or more, weighing yourself, then taking a diuretic and doing a whole lot of peeing then weighing yoursel..."
Hmmm..well since I'm off the booze for the next ten days...maybe....
Tom wrote: "If you really want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat, you can always cut your head off."
I'll let you know if there's a slip up with the 'manscaping'.
Last night was the final night of debauchery for the coming week & since it ended with a 3am meal of Mushroom/Cheese omelette w/hash browns & sourdough toast, I was pretty concerned about stepping on the scale this morning.
With good reason Ouch.179. (Darn you Hotcake House!)
Lori wrote: "Just take a couple of good poops. "
Fortunately Lori was right, Post Poop? 178 (thx Lori!)
Montambo Wrote: "Shave your head! Cut your nails! There's a couple ounces right there"
I was contemplating the fact that this means no booze for the next week & I'd be lying if I said that the thought of shaving my head a'la V for Vendetta style didn't come to mind. I'm going to 'manscaping' instead first & we'll see if that does the trick.
BunWat wrote: "Ten pounds in a week? Hmmm. I suggest drinking as much water as you possibly can for a day or more, weighing yourself, then taking a diuretic and doing a whole lot of peeing then weighing yoursel..."
Hmmm..well since I'm off the booze for the next ten days...maybe....
Tom wrote: "If you really want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat, you can always cut your head off."
I'll let you know if there's a slip up with the 'manscaping'.
Quick one before class...
OK, results so far...
Yesterday 912 cal (1 hr eliptical)
Did the 100 situps *ouch!*
Did a whole bunch o' anabolic workout stuff
uh-oh SUCCUMBED! 2.5 beers :_(
end result? 175.4 today! (& that's pre poo-poo! I credit the manscaping)
OK, results so far...
Yesterday 912 cal (1 hr eliptical)
Did the 100 situps *ouch!*
Did a whole bunch o' anabolic workout stuff
uh-oh SUCCUMBED! 2.5 beers :_(
end result? 175.4 today! (& that's pre poo-poo! I credit the manscaping)
& that's pre poo-poo! I credit the manscapingThat's too much information right there!!!
Oh then I guess I'd best resist the temptation to illuminate whether or not those two events transpired at the same time.
"You need to lose 10 lbs"
Now let me clarify, this isn't me opening the door for "Oh Steve, Montambo's just being malevolent you don't need to.."
That isn't the point at all Haters, I've given myself a reasonable amount of time (Til next Wednesday) to achieve this goal in. So what I need to know is, short of drug abuse/amputation of non vital limbs/purging etc. What are your suggestions for dropping 10 lbs in as many days? Advise! Advise!!!!