This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion

31 views
I hate that Montambo told me I need to lose 10 lbs! And by the way, I'm totally lying!

Comments Showing 1-32 of 32 (32 new)    post a comment »
dateDown arrow    newest »

message 1: by [deleted user] (new)

Ok, it probably won't come as a big surprise to a lot of haters that I know Sarah in the real world as well. She's a great friend, excellent confidante, and she has excellent taste in beer, so imagine...I say IMAGINE!! my surprise when my good buddy/chum/fellow mod Montambo shot out with this fine quote...

"You need to lose 10 lbs"

Now let me clarify, this isn't me opening the door for "Oh Steve, Montambo's just being malevolent you don't need to.."

That isn't the point at all Haters, I've given myself a reasonable amount of time (Til next Wednesday) to achieve this goal in. So what I need to know is, short of drug abuse/amputation of non vital limbs/purging etc. What are your suggestions for dropping 10 lbs in as many days? Advise! Advise!!!!



Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) High protein/very low carb diet. Broccoli. Water. 15,000 sit-ups. Walk instead of drive when possible.


message 3: by [deleted user] (new)

Hmm, I was thinking of seeing whether or not I could ditch the bike this week & get around on the bike solamente. 15,000? 1,500 a day? Hmm...maybe...


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) There I was just kidding. Hundred a day is more reasonable.


message 5: by Dave (last edited Aug 30, 2009 03:44PM) (new)

Dave Russell So what I need to know is, short of drug abuse/amputation of non vital limbs/purging etc.

I noticed you left contracting dysentery off the list, so let's make that my advice.

Always glad to help.

Dave


message 6: by [deleted user] (last edited Aug 30, 2009 03:48PM) (new)

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Dysentery (formerly known as flux or the bloody flux) is a disorder of the digestive system that results in severe diarrhea containing mucus and/or blood in the feces.[1:] If left untreated, dysentery can be fatal.
<--That'll show her!!

Tragically, Wiki gave no tips on how to contract it.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) I suspect that there's got to be a better way than giving yourself over to something called "the bloody flux."


message 8: by Dave (new)

Dave Russell The A to Z of Infectious Diseases (Concise Encyclopedia) by Carol Turkington

Well here, I'm sure there's something out there for you...


message 9: by [deleted user] (new)

Good grief, you can't slander me like this!! That is not how it went down. And because you chose to slander me, they're going to hear exactly how it did go down:

Steve: So, if I lose 10 more pounds, I'll reach my initial goal.

Me: Don't lose more than more ten pounds; you'll get too skinny and look yucky.

Steve: I can't believe you think I need to lose ten pounds! You're brutal, Montambo.


There you go. My name is cleared. I think you people know who to believe here.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) I was gonna say, that doesn't sound too much like the Montambo I know...but then again it's the internet, ya never know...


message 11: by [deleted user] (new)

For the record, I don't think Steve needs to lose any more weight. But he kinda acts like a teenage girl about this kinda stuff, as you can clearly see.


message 12: by smetchie (last edited Aug 30, 2009 05:35PM) (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments Man you guys are lame. It's so easy! I have the simplest, sure-fire way to lose 10 pounds in 10 days. It doesn't involve exercise or [edit:] complicated diets or drugs or diseases or long division.[end edit:] In addition, I guarantee that my method will work. You might even lose MORE than 10 pounds. Are you ready for it? Man this is awesome. Here it comes:














DO NOT EAT.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) I think that counts as a diet though. Diet...TO THE EXTREME!! ::wailing electric guitar solo::


message 14: by smetchie (new)

smetchie | 5731 comments there I fixed it. sheesh, you can't get away with anything around here.


message 15: by [deleted user] (new)

Hmm...I've been reading a bunch of that Thich Nhat Hanh guy lately, and those Buudhists do dig on the fasting..I'll let you know how it goes!


message 16: by Tom (new)

Tom Foolery (tomfoolery) *obligatory*

If you really want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat, you can always cut your head off.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments BunWat wrote: "Ten pounds in a week? Hmmm. I suggest drinking as much water as you possibly can for a day or more, weighing yourself, then taking a diuretic and doing a whole lot of peeing then weighing yoursel..."

Steve! You heard the woman! And remember bunny knows it all!!! Drink deep my N*##@% drink deep… =)



message 18: by [deleted user] (new)

Shave your head! Cut your nails! There's a couple ounces right there.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments I say try to masturbate and put or your spunk in a can/bottle or something and when you hit 10 pounds of steve juice put it on a stand as proof of your power!



Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) Sell a kidney, that's at least a pound or two, plus you can make like a hundred grand or so on the black market.


Joshua Nomen-Mutatio (joshuanomenmutatio) You don't really need your appendix either, but there's no cash in that as far as I know.


message 22: by Lori (new)

Lori Just take a couple of good poops.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Lori wrote: "Just take a couple of good poops. "

GREAT IDEA!! Can I also suggest enemas???



message 24: by [deleted user] (new)




message 25: by Harry (new)

Harry  (Harry_Harry) The gall bladder is also unnecessary. Worthless financially too.


The Crimson Fucker (tcf123) | -3 comments Montambo wrote: " "

See tambo that’s exactly how I felt that time y’all try to convince me to wear my cousin’s panties as a hat!!! I’ve been waiting since that day for my revenge…. Now the day is finally here!



message 27: by Kasia (new)

Kasia Tom wrote: "If you really want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat, you can always cut your head off."

I was going to say: cut off your right leg, but this, here, Tom, is a much better advice. Not to mention, you beat me to it. You all did.


message 28: by Kasia (last edited Aug 31, 2009 11:50AM) (new)

Kasia Harry wrote: "The gall bladder is also unnecessary. Worthless financially too."

Or you can grow a nasty tumor and have it cut out*.


___________________________
*It is advisory to use big doses of radiation to help and speed up the process.


message 29: by [deleted user] (last edited Aug 31, 2009 01:51PM) (new)

OK results so far...
Last night was the final night of debauchery for the coming week & since it ended with a 3am meal of Mushroom/Cheese omelette w/hash browns & sourdough toast, I was pretty concerned about stepping on the scale this morning.

With good reason Ouch.179. (Darn you Hotcake House!)

Lori wrote: "Just take a couple of good poops. "
Fortunately Lori was right, Post Poop? 178 (thx Lori!)

Montambo Wrote: "Shave your head! Cut your nails! There's a couple ounces right there"

I was contemplating the fact that this means no booze for the next week & I'd be lying if I said that the thought of shaving my head a'la V for Vendetta style didn't come to mind. I'm going to 'manscaping' instead first & we'll see if that does the trick.

BunWat wrote: "Ten pounds in a week? Hmmm. I suggest drinking as much water as you possibly can for a day or more, weighing yourself, then taking a diuretic and doing a whole lot of peeing then weighing yoursel..."

Hmmm..well since I'm off the booze for the next ten days...maybe....

Tom wrote: "If you really want to lose ten pounds of ugly fat, you can always cut your head off."

I'll let you know if there's a slip up with the 'manscaping'.










message 30: by [deleted user] (new)

Quick one before class...

OK, results so far...
Yesterday 912 cal (1 hr eliptical)
Did the 100 situps *ouch!*
Did a whole bunch o' anabolic workout stuff
uh-oh SUCCUMBED! 2.5 beers :_(

end result? 175.4 today! (& that's pre poo-poo! I credit the manscaping)


message 31: by Kasia (new)

Kasia & that's pre poo-poo! I credit the manscaping

That's too much information right there!!!


message 32: by [deleted user] (new)

Oh then I guess I'd best resist the temptation to illuminate whether or not those two events transpired at the same time.


back to top

2766

This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For

unread topics | mark unread


Books mentioned in this topic

The A to Z of Infectious Diseases (other topics)