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trying to feel like me again
message 3001:
by
Erin
(new)
Mar 25, 2018 02:20PM
And break apart
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Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "And dieeeeeee"No dying I forbid it."
That's the least if my worries right now.
Does that say something about my worries? There's a lot and they're big
It would've been so much better if I was never born
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Does that say something about my worries? There's a lot and they're big"What's going on Erin?"
Nothing! I've literally done nothing today. Just thinking and thinking and thinking. I don't want to think anymore. I'm so tired of thinking, but if I'm not thinking then I'll focus on my breathing until I am no longer breathing because if I'm not thinking than I feel like I should be dead, even more than usual.
I'm tired of worrying about my family and my friends.
I'm tired of feeling selfish only that's what I am.
I don't want to care about them anymore because they make me want to stay
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "It would've been so much better if I was never born"Erin wrote: "I really do"
Erin wrote: "I wish I didn't want to die"
Erin wrote: "A waste of breath"
Erin wrote: "I'm a waste of..."
I am! I really am. But I do and I always will because I'm not perfect and nothing is perfect. I'm glad I got to meet you too, but I'm still not glad I have a life.
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Does that say something about my worries? There's a lot and they're big"What's going on Erin?"
Nothing! I've literally done nothing today. Just thinking..."
I will. Probably. Probably not. The odds are against me but so are most things like, you know, myself. But I'm trying. Or maybe not. Maybe ive given up and I'm just pulling every excuse and word I've ever used before.
I'm not suicidal. I'm not depressed. I am okay. I can be happy. I'll get through this. This is going to be a good year.
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "It would've been so much better if I was never born"Erin wrote: "I really do"
Erin wrote: "I wish I didn't want to die"
Erin wrote: "A waste of breath"..."
Thanks for your opinion :)
Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "Lillian wrote: "Erin wrote: "It would've been so much better if I was never born"Erin wrote: "I really do"
Erin wrote: "I wish I didn't want to die"
Er..."
But that's not how opinions work! :D
I guess it says something if I finally start getting the year wrong
It was the end of 2016 in that December around the 11th I think
I'm going to get off for a bit. Maybe work on my school project that I stayed up late working on to not even finish and then find out we're not even presenting
they weeped so loudly,
their guts full of self hatred,
but then the crows came
and ate their insides.
-i still don’t know which was a better feeling
Why do I hate myself when I am so fucking beautiful?
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
30 Things I Love About Myself (other topics)Challenger Deep (other topics)
Throes (other topics)
P.S. I Still Love You (other topics)
Delirium (other topics)
