it's personal discussion
300+ views
>
A Solivagant on the Inselberg
message 13401:
by
Aqsa
(new)
Dec 01, 2018 10:03PM
Read a book
reply
|
flag
I don't have any books to read right now :( Happy movies aren't my thing.
I need some good blogs to follow on Tumblr. Any recommendations?
I want to make a scrunchie, but I doubt we have any elastic.
Same here hallie i m also getting bore .IDk what to do because i have nothing to do right now .I m not in a mood of reading book or watching a movie .There is something in my subconcious that is bothering me alot .
I'm just looking at DIYs I'm never going to make.
Why isn't that your thing??? I think if u give life a chance, it might just surprise you. In a good way. There is nothing harmful in going towards happier things.
It's just not my cup of tea. Trust me, I've tried happy movies, and they always disappoint me. There is this unsatisfactory feeling when the movie ends. Sad movies with happy endings - great, sad movies - great, horror movies - great, happy movies with nothing that makes me anxious - meh.Except maybe some silly kinds of anime, but even then, I don't mind ones that are always upbeat.
Lol, S just texted me saying, "Hal.... Did you go to H's brother's wedding?" Apparently she had an exam and her Mum was sick, and she feels horrible because she didn't tell H.And she asked why I didn't go, and immediately realized "Oh wait, you're Hallie."
Like how do you even expect me to show up at my friend's brother's wedding when it's doubtful I'd show up at my own wedding?!
Every time I walk into a room/thread, the people who were previously chatting jubilantly go quiet in seeing me.
Mini-Rant
Warning: Some amount of profanity
I'm officially pissed.
I was practicing some diagrams in Biology, and since my brother was in our room playing annoying music and Dad was lying down in my parents room, I had no choice but to study at my table in the dining room. Mum crossed me to go to the kitchen and I innocently waved with a 'hiii', and she fucking said, "You're writing now?" which translates to 'You had two whole days, and you're doing your homework now so that you can waste your already limited study time! What the hell, Hallie? Study! Or you'll fail again, and you'll end up as a failure in the family. Look at your brother. He has a good job, and just look how well he is doing. As a female, you should be independent and as well-off as him, and that won't happen unless you study.'
First off, it wasn't homework. I was practising the important diagrams because my teachers say that questions with diagrams are much better than ones with a lot of writing. I can learn the theory portion of those pretty fast because as you all know, I like Biology. So I wanted to work on the diagrams because that's where I lost marks last time.
Secondly, why the fuck does she always assume that it's homework every time I hold a pen or pencil and write with it? Once I was actually doing Math instead of flipping and reading through my book as I usually do, and she saw me and started blasting me the same way even though I said I was fucking studying.
Thirdly, I was already pissed because she and Dad decided that I should go with them to my cousin's I-don't-really-know-what-that-is-actually event and Mum's uncle's son's wedding (dude, who the fuck is those person? I know of the uncle, but I thought he only has a daughter and I don't really like them - or weddings, Welsh people, and human beings in general) over the Christmas vacations. Look, my cousin is fine because she wanted to do this long back but had to post-pone due to Grandpa's death, and she even set the date such that I would be free. And neither of these people even want me there - they just want my mum or dad or brother. So I don't even like going to that fucking place. And I have exams like three days after that, so they expect me to take my fucking books and fucking study in fucking Grandma's place because I won't study from here anyway. What the flying fuck?!?! I genuinely had plans to study a lot during that break, and I really, really, really, really want a break. Like really. I haven't slept properly, eaten all meals in months, or just been happy (not counting the times I was under the influence of something) in what seems like forever to me. I really want to fall asleep and wake up a little later than 6 and not worry about having to go to school. And I only get 8 days for that even during the break, and they just make it impossible to fucking breathe. As if I wasn't annoyed enough already.
Fourthly, before Mum said that uncalled comment, I was silently drawing one diagram with full concentration (I mean it. It's shabby for sure, but I was doing it with so much interest), I suddenly couldn't breathe and my heart felt like it stopped beating for two seconds (I'm not saying it did; I'm saying that was how I felt at that moment), and I instantly started panicking and all.
So when I did not throw two notebooks and one fat textbook at Mum's head, I suppressed about 50 negative emotions. I swear I almost did. I'm surprised I only yelled, "I'm not writing!" And candidly, I regret having not thrown those books at her.
In nutshell, I lost my mood to study thanks to her, and want to fucking die.
Although the work I do on Goodreads is kind of impressive.
Because basically I have a friend and his grandfather died also around like that time so I low-key thought u guys were related x
Haha xD
Me all the time looool. He’s not my friend I guess he’s like my boyfriend but not at the same time? Idek what we are
That is honestly very confusing to me xP
Really is ffs so basically we are an item but we aren’t because we haven’t told anybody well I’ve told like a couple of my friends but basically we haven’t blatantly named what it is like are we dating or no and we also like talking other people besides from each other is a no no
SO CONFUSED LMFAO I’m confusing myself
So you're probably or probably not dating? What does he think?
Why the fuck did I just do that?!?! I'm off to hang myself now!
Do what??? And I guess we never talked about it
It's not big of a deal. I did something I probably should not have done, and immediately realized that people in real life might find out about everything I've been hiding, but it seems fine. For now.I'm not sure whether I should be happy for you or? What do people normally say to their friends in this situation? Pretend I'm not a socially awkward idiot and that I said that xP
So I might be allergic to something because I've been sneezing, my nose starts running randomly, and my eyes keep watering. It's never happened before, but getting pretty annoying over the past few days.
Remember yesterday? Well, my Zoology teacher legit made me draw a diagram on the board. I mean she checked the register and called out my name and all.Funny part was whilst I was practising, the circular shape looked more like a deflated balloon, but when I drew it on the board, wow! After I came back, B was like, "Perfect circle!"
So they took our class photograph today.
And I lost my Math textbook, so I've got to search for that.
Secret Santa
Most of today was fun. Then I got home and everything went to the drain. I really want to die right now.
Starting with the good, the class of playing secret Santa, and I got this girl I don't particularly like, and Iz got that girl I'm trying to be friends with. So my angel and her angel are actually friends. I sent her two notes - one telling her to have a great day and another cringey one I now regret sending. I got two notes, too.
[image error]
And another saying 'Y r you so quiet. Talk something.' I got this last time, too! :/ I replied asking what I should talk about, but got no response. I kind of suspect it's Iz's angel. (Why have I not given her a letter yet even though she appears in my posts so often?!?! Let's call her.... HS)
And then we had the photoshoot session in the second hour. I didn't want to be in it and even thought of giving Iz my hoodie and send her to stand in the photo because they initially said they people like her who don't have the hoodies would not be included, but my mum would kill when she got to know. And they included everyone anyway. Now the class photo has been ruined thanks to Hallie's ugliness. Then the teachers didn't come still the last second hour.
Here's a hilarious story during lunch! Well, I think it's hilarious.
Iz, M, H2 and I were playing sets. I'm not sure if anyone here knows the game, so basically, we make sixteen (depending upon the number of people) chits with four different names written four times. The person who gets all four the same wins by saying 'Set' and banging the table, and else quickly puts their hand in the winner's. The topic be chose was chocolates, and we each decided the name of the four and wrote them down.
Iz thought it would be interesting if everyone bought the winner of five games their favourite chocolate, and I was like, "I'm definitely going to lose all, so I suppose I should keep my wallet out already." Then we started playing. I had two of the same and two different ones. Iz passed the first chit to me, and it turned out to be the third one xD So I passed one that was different, and landed with three same and one different. After everyone had passed a chit once, it was Iz's turn again, and she passed the fourth one to me :) I passed the different one I had to H2 and announced my victory by placing 'set'.
Then we started round two. I won. Again. I didn't expect either of those xD In the game, H2 won. M was like if Hallie wins again, we could stop. I replied that I wouldn't win. And then I won! They gave me this look like, "You're way too lucky today." So they are supposed to buy me my favourite chocolate :) I wonder if they will....
We also played truth or dare till the Math teacher came and I was asked about my crush, and I said I've never had one. They either think I'm lying, or I'm not human. I wasn't lying. I never really had a crush.
Now, things take a more darker turn.
I wanted to mention this yesterday, but then voted against it because I was trying to forget the whole incident. I just texted S with the same thing, so I'll just copy everything because I'm in no mood to type out the whole thing again.
So the watchman of my apartment is Welsh, but he knows pretty good English. He usually speaks to Mum in Welsh, but to my brother and me in English. He seems to be a talkative one because even my brother used to say that he always wants to talk whenever he comes home. Whenever he sees me, he usually just smiles and says something I just smile back to. But yesterday, when I came back from school and was ascending the staircase, he began to talk more. Like every time I climbed a step, he would start talking and then say "Okay dear." Then one more step, again he'd start talking. He asked, "Do you go to *insert name of school*?" How the fuck does he know that I go to that school?! I mean it's popular and all, but how does he know that I go there. I don't need to wear uniforms; my hoodie doesn't have it's name, and there's no way he figured that out by looking at the miniature emblem on it which I almost always cover with my hair. Then he asked my birthday, my entire family's birthday, whether I play any sport and that I should joke around and talk to my parents. Ummmm..... My brother and Mum always hope I just you know, shut up because I can be soooooooo annoying at times. Yesterday, I thought he was just being friendly.
During the entire day, I was a little bit afraid to go back home and cross paths with him again. I just don't want to talk to him. I don't care whether I should open up to people or not - I don't fucking want to. Today he came and asked the same things as yesterday, and then he like touched my forehead and drew a cross or something over it, and after I climbed one of the stairs, he grabbed my hand and kept patting it and.... Dude, it's just uncomfortable. I mean he patted my cheeks, and wouldn't let go of my hand for more than a minute, and I really, really, really freaked. It's weird and creepy. First he just to came to give me a letter addressed to Mum (which, I think he thinks is my name), and then he just kept following me to the staircase. I'm not sure how my mother didn't heard it both times, and I'm scared to tell her. I don't know how to explain. I don't want to explain. And I don't want this to continue.
So I texted S asking if she could call me during that time so that he wouldn't stop me in the middle of a conversation. Initially, I had only typed out what happened yesterday, and she said: 'He wants to talk to you and you wanna avoid him. Sounds like you.' Because it is typical of me to try to escape from conversations. This girl has known me since we were two years old. When I explained further, she agreed that it was creepy and strange and promised that she would call. I would call her, but my phone's outgoing calls stopped half an hour ago, and I don't know if I can get it fixed by tomorrow.
My secret Santa sent me this today:"Hey cutie! (So now we know my Santa is blind or a liar.)
How is you day going? Best of luck with your Chemistry practicals!"
Sweet. I'm not being sarcastic. It's sweet :)
![Jaxon(Jax)[They-He] | 4642 comments](https://images.gr-assets.com/users/1749715398p1/46156450.jpg)
Also, HS and I had gone to the Physics lab to practice something and our Math teacher had previously instructed us to be in class ten minutes before the bell. Both of us were a little late, and we entered our classroom with a couple of crackers to find two men we have never seen in our lives trying to set up the projector.So in nutshell, we had a motivational talk and something about Math being neither easy nor difficult, but challenging. My *friends* seemed impressed and even took the professor's card so that they could attend one of his sessions, but I got from the whole session was that he liked to use the sentence "Do you agree?" a lot.
And we had to give a feedback form after it in which we had to write down our contact details. I gave my phone number right, but I gave my Dad's super old phone number which he no longer has now for both father's contact and mother's contact. The professor guy told us to write down the correct phone numbers. Well, he was a bit too late.
☯Raven(Soon to be named Eris)~They/them, Nevermind about the Hiatus, I'm staying☯ wrote: "Same :D"I have my suspicions xP
Although they might be sending stuff like that only because we aren't allowed to say anything negative.
S called me as planned, but the watchman wasn't there when I first came. He then came to ask whether my dad had come home already (no, the car drove itself), but I nodded and went away. And my mum left the key in the lock of the door 😱😱😱😱
Hallie wrote: "Secret SantaMost of today was fun. Then I got home and everything went to the drain. I really want to die right now.
Starting with the good, the class of playing secret Santa, and I got this gir..."
we never did this :(
Hallie wrote: "My secret Santa sent me this today:"Hey cutie! (So now we know my Santa is blind or a liar.)
How is you day going? Best of luck with your Chemistry practicals!"
Sweet. I'm not being sarcastic. I..."
It's cute
Alex loves Palaye Royale ~They/them~ (The Phoenix Reincarnated) (Shadow of Whales) (Bvbarmy) (aa family) (Royal council) wrote: "Hallie wrote: "Secret SantaMost of today was fun. Then I got home and everything went to the drain. I really want to die right now.
Starting with the good, the class of playing secret Santa, and..."
Awww :( It's so much fun! We should meet up and do it xD
Aqsa wrote: "Hallie wrote: "My secret Santa sent me this today:"Hey cutie! (So now we know my Santa is blind or a liar.)
How is you day going? Best of luck with your Chemistry practicals!"
Sweet. I'm not bei..."
I know right?
Although I'm worried sick for those Chemistry practicals today. I swear I feel I'm going to fail.
it's personal
Books mentioned in this topic
Kim Jiyoung, Born 1982 (other topics)Lore (other topics)
The Glass Menagerie (other topics)
The Great Gatsby (other topics)
Orlando (other topics)
More...
