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Renee's Scattered Brain
message 351:
by
Renee
(new)
Jul 10, 2009 09:50AM
Too much to read? I'm sorry, I like to use words. Words are our friends. It would be cool if this were like the phone and you could just talk and listen, wouldn't it? But how would you edit your post?
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I'd love to have a dedicated team of typists poised over their keybaords waiting for my latest recorded masterpiece. Picture the scene:Paul lies back in the comgee chair, the dictaphone ready. He pops open a can, lights a cigarette, closes his eyes with a blissful smile on his face, presses the button and begins to tell his story.
Two hours later, having dictated twenty thousand words, he switches off the dictaphone, downloads to PC, emails it off to slaves and reaxes, the day's work done.
Yep, that's the way to do it.
Okay, Daisy convinced me to get a dragon. It's in the egg and it floats. I don't know why. Becky, you are in charge of the egg. Don't let the others at it and if Artie comes in, use your tasers. I told you, it won't kill him. Why should you care about killing something? You're dead. I'd think you'd like to increase your numbers.
Anyway I named the egg Inconvenient. We'll call it Inc. for short. When it hatches it won't matter if its a guy or a girl dragon. Inc. is pretty good for both.
Now, I need to get some work done.
Oh yeah, you can click the egg if you're wondering how it's doing. It tells you a bunch of stuff.
this too! I want my friend's eggs to live!
please click!
alright then I'm going to leave some of these eggs here too
As long as I don't have to do anything with them, they can stay. I will not be held responsible if something happens to them. I don't know how reliable dead people are yet.
don't worry you singularly cannot kill them
That's good, because I can kill a plant without trying. Just my touch is lethal it seems. Except for Horace, he seems to thrive no matter what.They call me a blackthumb because only the ugliest plants seem to survive around me. Poppies, snowball bushes, and weeds.
Let me just say, I hate the way poppies and snowballs just grow and grow. I've tried everything, even bleach to kill the bastards and there are more the next year. I thought i yanked them all out, but no, they popped up again. How do you get rid of these things?
sometimes if you completely block out the sunlight from the ground it helps, covering the ground with black trashbags.what's a snowball?
now I'm giving you a gift and eggs that I would adore if you would click!!
Wow candy! you rock Daisy. Lauren:
They are bushes with white flowers on them. Hundreds of white balls and they grow like crazy. They look real nice at first but then they turn brown and look like they're going to die, but no, they grow again. I hate them.
Google snowball bush and you'll see.
welcome I enjoy begging people to cli kon eggs and giving gifts the orange one really needs clicked because it's captins !
oh they are hydrangeas. i like them for minimal amounts of time.
Is that what they are? They're terrible. we call them snowballs. I call them a pain in my ass. Same with poppies, creepy looking things.
Okay everyone, I need to go to bed. This chick has to take the kiddies to the fair all day tomorrow and then to the Demolition Derby all night. I need my sleep. I wish I could post pictures of this wonderful event. You have to see it to believe it. The rides were down by eight last night because they ran out of diesel for the generators. It opened at four. Maybe they should fill up before opening. Just a thought.Hopefully by tomorrow they've got their shit together. I pity the fool who doesn't refund my ride tickets when the kids can't ride.
um... awesome mr. t referrence on your way out tonight, i'm still stuck at work for another half hour, and best buy is holding my computer hostage until 10 am tomorrow.
UGH WHAT KIND OF EVIL PEOPLE WOULD DO THAT@@
Good morning. I think. Court is so excited to go to the fair that she was up at 4am and woke me at 6. I was so going to sleep in today. Kids.Anyway, Inc. looks good. Nice job guys.
Word count yesterday, 2748.
total july=22,830
total 2009=227,214
I hope I can get some writing done today, the fair is not allowing for too much to get done. Stupid fair.
Renee, you forgot; you are going to save your poppy seeds and send them to the me so I can let them loose here on the farm. I LIKE poppies. And I have 2 snowball bushes, though I can't take credit since they've been here much longer than me.And Lauren, I really do live on a farm. (noticed it over in the other thread- though after your "balls" comment I would have put "Fire" as in Great Balls of Fire)
awesome. totally random side note. a couple of years ago i was hired to choreograph this singers show, and cause he was an artist, he thought it would be cool for him to play this character that was really crude and told off color jokes, and was a koosh ball. so he came out dressed as a giant koosh ball and sang great balls of fire, and i had to choreograph a koosh ball and his back up dancers. he also had them act like psuedo cheerleaders and introduced him while chanting oh kooshy you're so fine, you're so fine you blow my mind hey kooshy, hey kooshy.can I get an awkward.
How about weird? Wow, I'd have been like "Dude, have you ever heard of dignity?"
These artistic types are a strange bunch.
yeah, but i got paid a lot of money to make him look less awkward.
Less awkward, I like how you didn't say 'sane' or 'good'.
oh it wasn't sane or good, but he was also the producer, so you can't really tell the person writing your checks that no one wants to see a dancing koosh ball, let alone a dancing koosh ball telling dirty jokes at the san grabiel mission theater.
75 people walked out while he was telling kooshy jokes
w-o-w 75 eh? must've really been bad.I like the song great balls of fire because my busband can play it on the piano. He stands and really hammers it out- it's pretty funny.
His only other song he can play is the star wars theme song.
Well, at least he can play something. That's talent, sort of.
Good morning every-wait. WTF? Where are my bodies? There's the dragon egg, all alone and unattended. Oh no, is that Harry's foot? Oh, goodness. There's a finger.Paul, I think Artie got out again, I smell tequila. Your baby got drunk on MY booze and then ate my bodies. You need to find him and punish him good. I have no bodies now. Shoot. What am I going to do. you can't just get six bodies out of nowhere. Me and Artie are going to have words. Through the trap door.
Saturday, I wrote nothing. Sorry folks, I just had a day.
Yesterday was better. 1907, it ain't no 3000 but I wrote some. I've been editing here and there so I've been drawn away. I will get more today, to make up for Saturday. I promise.
Everyone's always blaming Artie. My little Artie wouldn't do no harm to nobody.But I'll replace the tequila. Con gustano sin no?
Is that good stuff? I've always bought the Cuervo. Hey tequila is tequila in my book. Oh, how about replacing it with Southern Comfort? I was drunk for a couple of days on that once, and hungover for three or four. Good shit.
OK, deal. SC it is.Now, I wanted that tequila.
Artie? Where are you, you little sod?
He should be about 40 feet tall after his meal last night. Shouldn't be too hard to find the little bugger.
You would be suprised.... but I was talking to Jeff and Kian and I told them about Artie and they thought that a snake and maybe some other animal spirit could've possesed him
Oh no, that's awful. THere'll be no training him now.
well if he's part-somethig trainable then you can
But we don't know what part-something he is. I can tell you from experience part terrier or big stupid dog, he's not trainable. Part wolverine, mountain lion, fisher, um-anything like that with sharp teeth and claws, not very trainable.
well still snakes canatleast be domesticated
what if he's part dolphin, then he would be trainable and capable of marine travel?
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Books mentioned in this topic
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (other topics)Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (other topics)
