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Renee's Scattered Brain
*dresses "life-sized" dolls up as raggity ann & andy*That's way cuter than the clothes Renee had on those. Whew, it's getting rank in here.
*leaves air freshener*
aaahhhh, better.
You know Renee, you have the most awesome word count!
Thank you, I have a lot of words in this big head. No one likes to listen to them so I write them all down.How does one keep dead people from stinking? Perhaps I should have them stuffed. Could be pricey. How does one stuff a dead person? What do you stuff them with?
I've got bales of straw I can give you, but I refuse to do the stuffing for you.
I wonder if I have to take everything out? Maybe I can just get the juicy bits out and pour bleach or something in there to disinfect or whatever it needs to do. Then I'll put the straw in. Will it poke out under the skin though? I want them to look lifelike, if they're bumpy people will know I stuffed them.
Door is unlocked. Strange, I thought I locked it. Doing a body count 1 2 3.....4...hey, Wendy have you been here again? You took creepy guy that kept offering my kids money. He was just about ready to stuff. I was going to use him as a scarecrow in the garden. Oh well, I guess I'll have to use guy who was dumb enough to stalk me.
Anyway;
I am so excited!!! 3104 words today.Can you believe that? I can't, when I totalled them I had to recheck to make sure it was right. I will probably write some more later, I managed a few chapters on Rowan and a new chapter on Getting away with it. I'm still itching to get at Rowan a bit more so hopefully everyone is off to bed at a decent time tonight.
Total= 131,426
Renee- Sorry, I with fertilizer prices the way they are, I use whatever I can find just lying around. Way to go on your word count! You ROCK!!! I dunno if I ever did 3,000 in 1 day- once maybe. I hope everyone goes to bed ASAP.
I'll not be on late because I still don't have my freaking Key code. So I'm reading The Dead Until Dark series to relax my brain.
We are having a freak storm here by the way. Just like the ones in my COyote dreams. I've unplugged the computers for all the lightning and wind all over. (this is my wireless) Tomorrow we'll see what has become of the wheel lines.
I love a good storm, it's a shame they have to do so much damage. It's clear and warm here. Unusual, since the past few weeks have been freezing. I'd hold out and not clean the mess. I'd one up him somehow. The nerve! that is something Kurt would pull though, and there is no waiting him out. He's brutal with that. Once he didn't say a word to me for more than a week. He said he wasn't going to argue with me and until I promised that I wouldn't discuss the issue anymore, he had nothing to say to me. Seriously, he hates to argue. I love to argue. He avoids confrontation at all costs. While I don't look for a fight, I won't back down if I feel strongly. I finally snapped and he laughed at me. Then I yelled some more about how immature he was and right in the middle of me tearing him a new one he yelled BUTTER!!
What do you say to that?
Oh ya, and once he licked my eye. What is that about? He said he was just curious. It kind of hurt. Stupid. And another time in the middle of the night, my sixth sense woke me up and he's standing over me with his arm raised like he's going to attack me and his eyes were all crazy. Now, he is a sleep talker, walker, kicker, and all around annoyer so I thought he was dreaming. I thought I "talked him down" until morning when I told him about it and he laughed. He did it on purpose to see what I'd do. I do not sleep soundly anymore.
Once my hubby wanted me to shave everywhere and I said I would only if HE did too. Oh what fun that was. Boys are such whiners. Waaa, it itches. Suck it up man! Women do this all the time!Ha!
And if Mike had acted like yours with the crazy thing, I would have thought of something dasterdly to do back. Like maybe he needs his underwear washed with the red towels. mua-ha-ha
And yes, I'm holding out still. I'm thinking about writing on paper so I still write, but I don't want to clean his crap up. I don wanna I don Wanna!
There's no other way you can get it? I would just write on paper, but then I do that anyway. I don't know....he's a bugger that's for sure. Like you don't have enough to do in a day without cleaning up his mess. My hubby wanted to do the let's shave thing. What is that with guys and there weird ideas? I could tell you a few really crazy ones, but lets keep this g-rated. I know he probably wouldn't appreciate me letting a bunch of people he doesn't know in on what floats his boat.
On the other hand, I do owe him for a few things....
I think if he doesn't find it by tomorrow I will get mean. Bring out the garbage sacks and all that. I wouldn't throw it away, but I might stuff it all in there until I find it.In his defense, he works full time and then comes home and farms until bedtime. SO he IS working his *ss off, but it's still his mess- and when he started the mess he wasn't this busy.
I went through this with my husband. Yes, he works long hours, and he works very hard. Yes, I stay home with the kids and don't have to go out every day. But at least he gets to go somewhere alone. If he'd like to stay home, he is welcome to. I would happily go out to work again (well maybe not really but I tell him that) I clean up everyone's mess all day every day while he gets a couple days off each week. He can clean up his own crap now and then. he knows i won't do it either, but he's never been able to withhold anything from me to make me so I don't know how long i'd hold out. I would bag up his stuff though, that's a good idea. once I threw his prized CD collection in the front yard. That's 500+ CD's scattered along the ground. Did I mention it was winter? I warned him, he has the right to go out with the boys, but I deserve to know that he has gone and where he will be. I also expect him to come home. He tells me now and comes home way earlier. I'm happy with that.
Renee M'dear, you've got some brass ones.
I asked myself what does he love more than me that I can throw out there without ruining? Then it hit me. So I made the ultimatum and followed through. I wouldnt' have thrown his clothes out there, I'd just have to wash them all.You should have seen him flip out though. I wish I had my video camera then. Picture it, 5am, he's still drunk and he's picking CDs out of the snow. The whole time he's muttering nasty things about me and my heritage. I just watched from the bedroom window.
At 5 am he deserved every moment of discomfort from that. Good on you.
What can I say, I warned him. That's how I roll man.
Okay, it's a little early for a word count but the kids have baseball tonight and I'm not sure if I'll get back at it. So the count for today is 2097, just made it.I want to write more, I stopped half way through a chapter but we'll see.
Total= 133,523
Now I need to pick up the kids. Can someone help me with the smell in here? I've lit candles and burned insense but that last guy is really smelly, I might have to just bury him.
Okay, I can't sleep and I'm too tired to be creative so I decided to catch up on some of my group dicussions. I had to come in here with the dead bodies and demonic art to get my head straight. It is spinning after being OMG, LOL<, :P, 0___0, and all that to death. Crazy, I don't even know what is going on. They begin as a discussion and slowly disintegrate into symbols and lines and shit. Am I just old? While I'm reading it, in my head I hear those really annoying girls from high school that used to squeal and giggle all over the place. You know the ones that dressed the same, joined the social clubs, fixed their makeup each and every break and said things like "No Way!!" "he's such a hottie." "Like, my Dad is so freakin lame", "you're such a loo." That's what plays in my head when I try to decipher the code.
If my girls talk like that I'm cutting their tongues out. They will lose the privelege to speak if they can't speak properly. It's bad enough my stepson makes me endure "dude" and "sweet" and "sick", I can't take the squealing and jumping and stuff.
Okay, I need to go to bed.
lol hope you can get to sleep! Oh, and if you want to get rid of the dead bodies, why don't we just have a bonfire? :D
A bonfire? That has possibilities. The last guy is really stinking.Can't you smell him? yes, let's plan a bonfire. I'm running out of room anyway, and I'm sick of looking at a few of these guys. I'll just keep some bits and pieces for trophies. To keep the ambiance.
Drags in bag of kindling and sets beside bodies. Smell is less noticeable this morning, sniffs stinky guy. Smells like dead and flowers hmmm....**looks in mouth** Just as I thought potpourri, who's idea whas this? It's better, but now his cheeks look like a squirrel's. Reconsiders bonfire since Paige has a point about the smell. Perhaps I need to get some more bleach.What is it about the sound of teenage girls that can just push someone over the edge of insanity?
I don't mind the lingo that Logan uses too much, it's just that after being called dude for the hundredth time in less than 24 hours irks me. I must be getting old. That's depressing.
Renee! You could, like, go, you know, back and totally talk like they did, like, when I was in Junior High!*squeeeeel!*
Like OMG that's totally wicked!
Were you one of those? Have you been exorcised, cause I don't know if we can be friends if there is any possibilty you could relapse. I'd have to add you to my collection.
The worst part is when I find myself using the words. I want to slap my own face when it comes out.
Wow, it sure is quiet in here. At least the bodies keep me from feeling alone. I've decided to name them and give them jobs. The bleach and scrape method we came up with worked pretty well. This stink isn't so bad. I filled them with Wendy's straw and I'm topping it off with potpourri. I need to shellac them or something so they don't decay any further. It isn't a pleasant sight when skin begins to fall off. Gross.So anyway, over here to greet you all is Eustace. He followed me around for about a month before I caught on to him Every time I was at the grocery store, he'd be there pretending to stock shelves when really he was watching me. I don't like stalkers, now he is happy to welcome you to my brain.
Over here with her arms out, ready to hold your coat is Betsy, she used to work at Walmart. She's much more helpful now. Next to her, ready to hold your hat and scarves or hang your purse,is Bucky, Betsy's equally helpful coworker.
Now over in the kitchenette are Toby and Teddy. It took some pretty crafty handymanning, but they are now perfectly comfortable chairs should you want to sit a spell and chat over coffee or tea, or dessert. I always have dessert here. Toby and Teddy were the two to blame for the horrible ditch at the end of my driveway and the weeK I was without water when they were fixing the lines up the street. You see they planned the construction for the upgrades and were looking at the wrong plans for the water line causing the crew to dig up the wrong spot and shutting down my line, then had to move down the street to the correct spot, while mine remained off so they could fix what they had done. Then they hired the idiots who do not know how to pave to save their lives. Toby and Teddy are very comfortable chairs, and they look much smarter now than they were in life.
And last but not least is a member of a certain religious group who like to canvas door to door. When i didn't answer because I was trying to get a miserable sick baby to sleep, she took it upon herself to just walk right in to speak to me. She found out what happens when you are rude enough to just enter a stranger's house after said stranger has had only 3 hours of sleep in more than twenty four, and has listened to a baby cry for a better part of the day. She's over there in the sitting room, nice straight back makes a great ottoman. Ignore the bite marks, my dogs got a little carried away. i'm sure I can cover it up with putty or something. Her name is Maureen.
So anyway, I've made use of the bodies and given them names. It feels much more homey in here. I'll have to be selective of new additions. I can't have them just hanging around. Perhaps I'll just replace any that begin looking a little rough and decayingish.
Be sure to smile and say hello, they are very nice.
On to my word count so far today. 2289, and since I don't have to be up early tomorrow, I might write when the kids have gone to bed.
total so far= 135,812
Renee, are you really Clive Barker after some trans-gender operation?No?
Are you sure?
But you're right. They're all much more useful and helpful now than in their previous lives.
Talking of door to door religious people, I remember many years ago, on a Sunday morning, I was preparing a fresh chicken for the Sunday lunch I was cooking. The doorbell rang, and there were two smiling, scrubbed, shiny-faced devotees of a religion that shall be nameless (except to say they sell the 'Watch Tower').
"Have you heard the Word? Have you been saved?" they pant, before actually regarding me, covered in chicken blood up to both elbows, 12 inch butcher knife in one hand.
I look at them stony faced for a moment, as they begin to look unsettled, twitch and pale. Finally, I speak.
"You've interrupted my sacrifice to ask me that?" I snarl. "Well, now you're here, you're welcome to participate. Come in..."
That sect has never called at the house again.
Good morning paul. Did you make yourself some coffee? did you make me some coffee? I think I've got some Bailey's hidden in the desk. Mmmm...Bailey's.Clive Barker eh? I thought my secret was safe. You must never tell another soul or I'll find something useful for you to do.
These people were carrying the "Watch Tower" as well. Left it right on the floor by the woodstove. I have done some nasty things to these people. Never have they just walked into my house before without me answering the door. I can't wait until they come again, I'm planning something really good.
These days they don't bother us much. It must be the PRIVATE PROPERTY!
TRESPASSERS WILL BE SHOT!
sign that keeps them from coming up our drive...
Years ago I had some of them come to the door just after I'd arrived back home to change clothes after stopping to perform a medical assist at a highway accident.
My blouse and shirt were covered in blood and I had a blood stained towel in my hand.
I've never seen two peoples eyes bug out like that before.
thanks sybil, so everyone listen up! Now Eustace will be holding a tube of Carmex when you enter. Please rub some under your nose and you won't notice my friends at all. Eventually when everything is nice and dry and I get enough laters of shellac on there, you won't need it.**slips a tube of Carmex into Eustace's hand. Breaks a couple of fingers while bending them to hold it. Sorry Eustace.
So Sybil, where can I get more of that stuff? You want some coffee? I just made a pot. I've got some daquiries made in the fridge. Oh and I mixed up some grasshoppers too. Not the bugs silly, the minty flavorful drink. Come, have a seat. Which seat would you like? Toby or Teddy? I like Toby, his hands are bigger and cradle my slightly wider than normal bottom very nicely. Now Teddy has muscular arms which make nice arm rests, but I couldn't get his fingers to curl, so there's just his lap to hold your bottom. I don't mind either so you pick.
Hmmm....that is a problem. Let's see, maybe if we used straws. Coffee with straws? I don't know. The grasshoppers are minty, maybe we won't notice the carmex with those. Well, if you're going to eat or drink perhaps you should hold off on the carmex, unless you don't mind the scent. It doesn't bother me too much. Oh hey, I just made Grandma's chocolate chip cookies. Soft and chewy and oh so chocolatey. They are the best. Anyone?
Renee- did the lady really walk right in? The nerve!Out here people tracting for religion have to be careful because pretty much everyone has dogs that object to trespassers and half are not chained or fenced. Mine is fenced, but since the pups have been weaned, she can now leap over it and chase after stupid boys that ride bikes on my ditches without permission. I warn them off but am afraid that someday one will get nipped.
And Paul- you've just got balls of steel man. THinking up something like "You're interrupting my sacrifice!!!" on the fly and being able to say it. Ha!I would never do that in a million years. I'd never even think it. I'd probably appologize to THEM for me being such a mess.
I would totally do it. i can't wait for them to come again. i have told them again and again to leave me alone. I don't go to there house and try to convert them to sinning, I don't need them trying to save me. Someone is going to need some saving if they open my door again. It won't be the dogs they'll need saving from. Kurt was surprised I didn't go right out there, but I had the baby that day and she was so sick. I couldn't leave her screaming in the bedroom and the dogs were pretty spun out because of all the crying. Harley gets very upset when she cries, he nips at me and keeps whining. Such a sensitive little thing he is. We have more pictures that I'm posting on facebook by the way. They are so cute.
Oh, and I am so rude. here Wendy, take my seat. Toby has wonderful hands. Would you like a drink?
Renee- I prefer warm hands (not preheated- actual living hands) but thanks for the invite. I think I'd like a drink of unopened pop if you please. Sure, none of that red stuff you've got sloshing in that container there, I don't trust it.
Oh that? it's tomato juice, really. But if you insist I think I've got some pepsi kicking around in there. Would you like a regular chair? I hide some lawn chairs in the closet.
*pops the top on the pepsi and reclines in the real chair* very nice Renee, thanks.
Not a problem. Did you take some of that stuff from Eustace? It does help the odor. Not that its so bad anymore.
*looks up with both nostrils plugged with carmex stuff*yup- found id, bud id makes you talk fuddy.
We said just a dab honey, now you're going to be high or something. Hmmm...give me some more of that. No sense just one of us having all the fun.
It's mentholated lip balm ... it won't get you high but your sinuses will be really clear.Oh... and don't put it on raw (... oops... too late...) skin, like the inside of your nose. It'll burn like crazy.
Hi Renee. Ah, not here. Shame.sniffs the air cautiously, like a wine connoisseur testing the bouquet of an unknown claret.
No, the smell's not too bad. Actually, if you stay a while, you stop noticing it at all.
Helps self to (presumably) daquiri, followed by grasshopper.
Nice. Ah well, got to go, I've work (the enjoyable kind) to do. See you all later.
I missed them all. I wish I had been here for Gwen's advice. I don't think my nose will ever be the same. **slips fance chapstick in Eustace's pocket** There dear, you need it more than we do. so much for sleeping in on a Sunday, 6am. Blech. Getting up was better than staying in bed sandwiched between two dogs and a five year old. My legs and my back are killing me. Kurt was smart, Kennedy came in and he went out. Why don't I ever get to go out? why doesnt' he have to stay and pretzel himself in order to stay on the bed? Ah well, I better make some coffee.
I'm back! Oh my, Eustace what have they done to you? Come on guys, a thong? Really? sorry Eustace, we'll fix you up as soon as I find some more suitable clothes. Really its not so bad, maybe if you worked out more, it could look all right. I know you're dead silly, but that's no excuse to let yourself go like that. Here, wear one of my shirts, then you won't look so weird. What? You don't like fuschia? Suck it up buddy, it's all we got. Whoever gave Eustace a makeover, could you please return his suit? It's cold here at the door. A thong. What next?
I forgot to post yesterday's word count because it was so pathetic, but I do need one day off I think. It was 684 words. Ouch. But I made up by exceeding my goal today. 2811 words today. And I cleaned the basement, animal's litters and cages, bathrooms, and took the kids bowling.(I took the laptop)
Total for 2009 so far;
139,307
That's all for now. I need to check on everyone else.
*Helps Sybil and Paul dress Eustace in flamigo pink pimp-daddy suit complete with purple animal print hat*There you go, all better.
Boggles in amazement at the clothes Wendy keeps pulling out of her closet
These kids are coming way too early, 5am jeesh--well hello Eustace. That is an interesting suit. Much better than the thong anyway. Now I'm going to have to dress everyone like that so you don't look tacky. Hmmm...I guess it could work. Where's my coffee? I need to get an automatic coffee maker.Good morning all, thanks Wendy and Sybil. I won't ask if you are to blame for the thong. I'll just assume you were being good samaritans.
Gwen, I am thinking there is much we don't know about Wendy. I'm beginning to wonder what they really do on that farm.
Oh man Eustace, you are way too cool in that suit. You really give the place some class. **goes to check on others** Betsy!! Who put your hand there? How did they get your arm down? Sorry Bucky, I know you like it there but it must be moved. I like a little butt grab now and then too, but no one else needs to see it. This is a g-rated site you know.Now that i've corrected the newest mischief-i really hope its one of you guys doing all of this, if I've got zombies I'm going to be really mad.
Today I wrote 2195 words. I could write more but i need to go to bed, I made some notes so I don't lose my "flow". Good night everyone.
Total 2009 so far= 141,502
Writer's Paradise
Books mentioned in this topic
Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (other topics)Twenty Thousand Leagues Under the Sea (other topics)
Total=130276
Now Wendy; The walmart bodies have just arrived. Please try to keep away from them for a few days. I rather like the way they look over there in the corner. They wouldn't make very good lamps anyway, not very bright.