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Renee's Scattered Brain
message 751:
by
Lauren
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Aug 21, 2009 02:03PM
um... i teach kids, so yes. yes i can.
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speaking of which i am subbing at the studio again today , so i have to sausage wrap myself in leotards and tights and get my butt to the studio.
Lauren wrote: "um... i teach kids, so yes. yes i can."okay well if you're a baby sitter you can't even if there are five of them
i also taught preschool me alone with 11 3-5 year olds.you just have to be organized and have projects.
it definitely gets tiresome but if you have tricks it helps. like the clean up song, we would play this cd and they would just start cleaning up wouldn't have to do anything, when we would go to the park if you asked them to clean up they wouldn't but if you sang the song they were like robots, it was kind of awesome.
I am a babysitter and yes, I am very stern. You have to be, the parents aren't going to thank you for letting them away with everything and being nicey nice. NOpe. Zero tolerance for them too. Time out is a busy place at my house. If they fight, I have separate chairs that they sit in. They face a wall. If it's all of them, I have lots of chairs. It works for the most part. I suppose my situation is different. All but two of the kids I look after are familiar with me. I've known their parents since grade school and they know what my house is like and my parenting. They have no problems with the strictness. A few of them have asked for pointers. I tell them to just stick to what you say, that's where I think we go wrong as parents. If you give a punishment, don't feel guilty and take it back. You have to follow through or they'll push harder the next time.
Then there's the whole playing one parent off the other. Kurt and I never disagree in front of them over a punishment. If I don't like something he's done or vice versa, we discuss it privately. More like argue, but that's not the point. It used to be really bad because he never disciplined Logan. He felt bad because he didn't have him all the time. At two and three that kid was forcing himself to vomit everywhere if he didn't want to eat something, refused to eat anything but cheerios, french fries, and kraft dinner and he was a nasty little bugger. Courtney was bruised and bloody from his tirades. Hockey stick and shovel to the head, biting, toys thrown, punching, it was terrible.
Kurt said I was too hard on him because he wasn't mine and I lost it completely. We since agreed that he needed the same discipline as Courtney and we would never argue about it in front of them. Logan was a different kid almost overnight, once he realized Daddy was backing me up. Now he behaves better than the girls.
We back each other up unless the hubby goes on a hissy fit tirade over something stupid, like "Where the &^%$ are my $%^&^(**&&&^ Shoes?!!!" THen I say sweet as honey, they are where ever you left them when you didn't put them away. (and if the kids aren't there, then) Stop acting like such an ass.
We only argue in private over punishment issues or what the other allowed the kids to do like watching South Park and such. If he yells at me because he's lost something or I (god forbid) didn't do something, I don't care who is in the room. He's going to hear it. He doesn't mention the housework in a serious way anymore. Not after the fishing trip he doesn't. He learned that lesson the hard way.
Paul wrote: "I find anything with more than the normal number of limbs to be inherently fascinating. Ants, bees, wasps, termites (cultures); spiders and mantids (habits); centipedes (poisone).The we get into ..."
How about gastropods, Paul? No legs, but they are quite squishy. I am shocked at how a slug can look like a nothing but a ball of snot and then suddenly have a defined head and antennae and body.
Well, some molluscs are OK. I can't say I'm fascinated by slugs and snails, but the intelligent ones (squids, octopi) are good.Although slugs and snails, being hermaphrodite, have some interesting habits...
Wendy wrote: "I've got magnetic dry erase boards that I made last year. THey've got their list of crap to do on one side. If they do their jobs, they move the little magnets over one space. If they cheat- they l..."That's a good list, Wendy. Similar to the list I have for their mornings. My middle child--Rowena--loves to be praised, and she is the fastest at getting her chores done. Kaylee, the youngest, does her chores when she sees her sister get praised for them.
But Makani, the oldest, is generally lost in her own world. It takes her forever to do anything. She eats for another hour after everybody else has gotten up. She takes at least half an hour to pee. And getting her to do her homework is like pulling teeth. She'll invent all sorts of school work other than what she has been assigned. I've had to cut her off from doing fun activities that her sisters got to do because she hadn't even started her homework yet.
Oh my god Rita, how old is Makani? My oldes Courtney is exactly like that. She takes a book in the bathroom while peeing or pooping. She invents book reports so she can read instead of doing other homework and I sometimes have to yank her out of bed.
Paul wrote: "Well, some molluscs are OK. I can't say I'm fascinated by slugs and snails, but the intelligent ones (squids, octopi) are good.Although slugs and snails, being hermaphrodite, have some interestin..."
I used to love snails when I was like six,we saw a annana slug once too
Are they still called snails when you find them cooked, on a plate? Or are they escargot when cooked? What is a live one called?
Renee wrote: "Escargone....slowly."But of course! And if you put escargone on the menu, it'd be perfectly acceptable to serve them on empty plates.
Some of thsse conversations are getting too surreal for mere words.Maybe it's me...
what are you talking about Paul? This conversation is perfectly sensible. Perhaps you didn't get enough sleep.
Keep taking the meds Renee. In fact send me some, then perhaps it will be sensible to me as well.I've just resumed my networked blogging, and you can find me at:
this place. I'll post links in all the other places I can think of as well. Just embarking on my concerted push for social networking glory!
Mwahahaha!!!
Great blog Paul. You've defined the categories of writers perfectly. What about the work at homes though? You know, like me. I don't go out to work but I have work come in here. I suppose it's the stay at home idea with more writing time than work aways, but less than stay at homes. I get my first real royalty check in a couple of weeks from the sales of my children's books. The publisher is very mum about sales. Though I've asked and asked and asked...damn them. I'll find out soon I suppose. My point? Kurt said as soon as I'm paid for it, he will no longer consider it just a hobby. Let's hope it's enough to convince him. At least $100. Then I can say, hey I make that much with this kid, let's drop him/her.
I know, forget it. Not going to happen. I just took on two more kids for the school year. Ugh.
If it's less than $100, don't cash it, frame it and stick it on the wall in front of you. Or in front of Kurt. Point to it on every possible occasion, while coyly - (sorry, you don't do coy, do you?) - while sarcastically making comments like "Of course, this is the smallest check I'll ever get..."
Believe me I will. But I'll photocopy it, those buggers are definitely paying me after what they charge me to just get a copy of my own books. I'll cash it if it's five bucks.
Renee wrote: "Oh my god Rita, how old is Makani? My oldes Courtney is exactly like that. She takes a book in the bathroom while peeing or pooping. She invents book reports so she can read instead of doing other ..."Makani is 7. I'm wondering if it is a first-born personality thing--the need to do their own thing and not succumb to someone else's schedule.
Maybe, but Kennedy is a diva. Where courtney takes forever to do anything and avoids work at all costs, Kennedy wants it done and she wants it done now. She gets up ridiculously early, wants breakfast immediately and then is dressed before 7am. Every day. If she brings anything home from school (she's only in Jk, well SK this year) it must be done. No matter what I'm doing, I have to drop it and help her or the world will end.
That is my Rowena. One day, when I was working long hours and all the kids were especially clingy, Rowena disappeared for half an hour. When she came back from wherever she was hiding, she said, "Mommy, come and see!" She had gone off to clean her room and make her bed and was using that as her means of getting my attention. Somehow, school and chores and structure and schedules give her security and confidence. But without those things, she acts like she is helpless. "The world will end," you said? Yeah, that's Rowena.
My oldest is that way too. I got a call from the school counsilor yesterday that said how she sadly mentioned that she hardly ever gets time outside. sniff sniff. And could I please allow her to go play outside sometimes?I pointed out to the counsilor that she has an hour of chores and homework. Th rest of her time is free. BUT she takes ten years to eat her after school snack, and another three to do the report that wasn't even assigned. AARRGGH!
I hurried her through everything yesterday. Move move move! get it done in 5 minutes. Okay NEXT Job! you;ve got 7 minutes. etc.etc until... Hey look! you're all done and have an hour and a half to do whatever you want! GO OUTSIDE!
oh my god Wendy, I'd have flipped. In JK Courtney told her teacher that Kurt hurts her body. That was a difficult one to explain. I'm so glad that most of the teachers I've known forever.Courtney later elaborated when they asked, that they play Wrestlemania and Kurt hurts her body when he puts her in a headlock. She said sometimes he steps on her feet too.
Kurt refused to let her play with him and Logan for a while after that. He was horrified that I had to go up there and explain.
It was all for attention, she was still adjusting to Kurt and Logan being around after three years of just her and Mommy.
Wendy and Renee, I'll post more on this in the sandbox. This is a topic that annoys me immensely. It will be a while before I post, because I don't want to type when I'm really angry.(Not annoyed at you two, but I'll explain more elsewhere).
Wendy wrote: "My oldest is that way too. I got a call from the school counsilor yesterday that said how she sadly mentioned that she hardly ever gets time outside. sniff sniff. And could I please allow her to go..."I've been sending her to take her own baths. She's old enough--being seven years old--to bathe herself. But I had to stipulate that she only gets 10 minutes to get herself clean. If she's not done in 10 minutes, then I'm getting her out. If she's done, then she can stay in the water and play. Why, oh why, do I have to make such silly rules?
Yup. We mothers are awesome at silly rules. But we do what we have to.Same deal with me and reading. If you're room is clean when I come to tuck you in, then you get story time and personal reading time.
If it's a wreck- forget it. LIghts off and good night.
There is the old adage - if you give an order to subordinates (or children) once, you'll have to give it for ever more.Yhe interrogatively raised eyebrow,the quizzical look, the scowl of disapproval while darting your gaze at the object(s) of your wrath - these are the ways to convey disappointment wordlessly. Not many repetitions are needed before the message sinks in.
Bow at the feet of the master!!
I have the reading/story rule too. They just don't care anymore. They'd rather go to bed than clean.We have specific snack times too or my kids would eat all day. They eat to the point of being sick. So at night, they get a snack at seven and that's it. They watch the clock like hawks between 6:30 and 7. It's funny. Through the day it's 10-ish, then lunch, 2-ish, and then around 4 if supper is going to be late. My friends think it's ridiculous.
Those nimble little fingers again Paul. Arg!! I tried the look, they look away. My kids don't understand nonverbal communication apparently. Unless it comes in the form of something flying across the room. No, not their mother.
THey adhere to the look too, but they need basic ideas of how things will go. The look makes them feel abashed a little, but not enought to undo what they did or understand it any better. MOre obvious forms of expectations are required here.
Renee, Wendy, I think you two are awesome mothers. You got the right balance of discipline and love.
Henry wrote: "You guys are reinforcing the Henry policy of no children. Ever. "Oh, come on! Children are great! Wouldn't you like to deal with someone 24/7 who is as stubborn as you are?
Henry;Honestly it is way more fun and love than anything else. I can't imagine not having my kids. What did I do before? I can't even remember. I know that I never really knew what unconditional love and all that was until I had them. Seriously. Now I'm all mushy and shit.
I need to go find something to tick me off, put me back to rights.
Henry wrote: "You guys are reinforcing the Henry policy of no children. Ever. "I know Henry,I know. They'd make great anti-teen pregnancy advocates though!
Having children deepens the quality of life. I have some friends who don't have kids, and for a brief moment, I envied their freedom. Then I thought about how empty and quiet and lonely our house would be. I wouldn't give them up for the world.
You said it perfectly Rita. I couldn't imagine my home without the kids. Okay, I could imagine it without the kids that aren't mine. It might be cleaner, but without mine? Never.I just realized I haven't recorded word counts or fed Sparky all week. Don't get too close to the pool, he's able to reach a tentacle or two over the side now. I'll get him some food and I'll tally my word counts for the end of the day. I need to look at the lists I make and actually follow them.
i think you have to have a certain mentality to be a good parent. there are a lot of parents out there who feel their children are burdens or keep them from doing the things they want, and these are the people who should be sterilized... no names brittany spears. she probably loves her kids, but she was in no way ready for them. someday when she settles down and wants to have somewhat of a normal life that is not selfish or fame seeking, then you can have children, but until then it just ends up bad.
Oh, I have two kitties. One's Melly. We've had her since she was 7 weeks old and she doesn't like me. The other one's kenja according to my mother she's my cat. She's black and we got her on Halloween. We rescued her from an apartment complex. She's been abandoned two or three times so she has issues. I love my kitty though. If you want something easy I'd go with a cat. Ours are indoor and outdoor so we don't have a litter box or anything. Just as long as you remember to feed them and give them water. They're basically independent.
Try a kitten first, then if you want a dog later, the cat is there first and you don't have to worry about him eating the cat. Also, dogs are a huge responsibility and require lots of time. I can't tell you how many times I've had to remind myself that killing the dogs would traumatize the kids.
That's actually not a bad idea Henry. Start off with a dog. If you manage to train it not to pee all over the house, and to hold its load till it goes outside; if it's not humping the leg of every visitor who comes through the door; and if you haven't transformed it into a deliquent, drug-taking sociopath in the first five years, move on to the next step - human children.
Here's my monkey metaphor: Cats and dogs are about as alike as Renee and Paul.No wait, that one actually works.
Lauren wrote,"or keep them from doing the things they want,"Kids DO keep you from doing a lot of things, BUT there is a time and a season for everything. Whenever I get wishing for presonal space, time, like the chance to up and go to the Gym, or a zillion other things that are difficult to do with toddlers... I try to remember that childhood is fleeting and that I should enjoy all the time I have with them now.
Is it easy? no. Am I trying my best? yup.
I do that too Wendy, it's easier because having nearly lost Kennedy, every time i look at her I realize how lucky we are to have her. Although, last night, after three hours of getting woke up to answer her questions about strangers and why they take little kids and what they do with them, I was kind of wishing for the good old days....when no one woke me up.
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