Gone Girl
discussion
Is this appropriate for a 13-year-old advanced reader?
Maria wrote: "I guess it should be modified to say "all reading CAN BE good reading - for the appropriate audience".Someone mentioned getting educated by Harold Robbins books. I don't think I'd want my 12 yea..."
Maria, That is my point entirely. What chance does a young teenager have if they can't openly discuss life's weird and wonderful and yes, sometimes bad, happenings. Knowledge is the key to a healthy response to both negative and positive events in one's life.
My father used to listen to the news on radio at lunch times and when I would enquire about his response to some political debate, he would get angry and tell me to be quiet. Yes, children and young adults were to be seen and not heard. That seems to be where you are coming from.
Parents need to let their offspring know that they are there for them no matter what. Then they just may come to you for a more expansive view of things rather than discussing them with those who are more likely to be ignorant than not in the school yard with others whose parents also have a closed mind.
I can't think of any book, except perhaps gratuitous violence for violence sake with no particular message to convey, like some horror novels, which can't be discussed on an equal footing, with respect from both sides, with your young ones.
P.S. Sex is a part of life and for many 12 and 13yr olds, they need to know the truth not some misguided information the get from their peers.
In short I would say no. I am not even sure I would let my 15 year old read it.
Maria - this discussion is about fiction!
Diana wrote: "Carol wrote: "I would not recommend it because I don't believe the story would be edifying for a young mind. There are so many BETTER choices!"I agree with this post"
So do I, there are very many much better choices
Rachel wrote: "Maria - this discussion is about fiction!"No kidding. That's what we're talking about... (?)
Definitely not appropriate for a 13 year old.
Fiction or nonfiction, I would not allow my daughter to read it. It's way to dark and believe me, there is too much desensitization of kids these days. They do not need to be exposed to such adult content at such a young age.
It's not "appropriate" per se, but some 13 year olds are reading it and sharing it with their friends. Parental guidance on some of the more questionable content would be much better than the guidance that they will get from their friends. I wouldn't recommend it to a 13 year old, but if they express interest in it, perhaps it would be better for parents to read it with their kids and talk about it....because their friends won't wait until you personally think they're ready.
Mochaspresso, We'll said. Some parents think that by controlling their 13/14 yr olds is keeping them safe. On the contrary, they are learning to have wings and will allow their peers to dictate their behavior if mum & dad don't stay in touch with how they are thinking.Books are an ideal way of opening subjects for discussion that some parents find difficult to broach, like entering womanhood and the responsibilities that carries. Let your children know that you will not judge them on their mistakes but can come to you if they have a problem or question and you can lead them to books that you know have a balanced view of growing up. You simply can't watch your child every second of the day and know what they get up to.
My children are all grown up now and have their own children but they seem to have a very healthy attitude towards them. They know that they are little people, or young people, not the family pet. They knew they could always talk to me about anything and I would not be shocked.
However, recently at a family get-together, my 2 daughters were having a giggle about what they used to do. I was astounded that I never knew that they snuck out of the house in the middle of the night to visit their friend who lived down the road from us. They talked about how terrified they were they might get caught by their father who often arrived home from work around that time.
So, believe me, that age group love to stretch the boundaries. Even staying in touch and open to their thoughts won't protect you or them from experimenting but it sure does help.
If you tell them they are too young to read a particular book, guess what book they will decide to read and discuss with their friends.
I turned 14 in September so whether its "appropriate" or not it's a bit late.
Roni wrote: "I turned 14 in September so whether its "appropriate" or not it's a bit late."Still not appropriate for you as a 14 year old, dear.
Why--when there is actually good literature out there?
Maria wrote: "Do you honestly think a 13 year old would feel safe and secure after finishing Gone Girl? I'm 51 and it creeped me out. "I think most people assume that a creepy book will have more impact on a younger person (someone under 18) than a fully grown adult. I don't think this is necessarily true. When I think about the adult books I read when I was ages 12-15, if they were disturbing in any way, the things about them that were disturbing would be MORE disturbing to me as an adult, because I understand the nuances of sick, creepy, evil people now. As a 12-15 yr old I was so innocent I had no true idea of what evil in the world was, so I wasn't terribly disturbed by any creepy books I read. So much of what was in adult books went over my head.
This was the case with trashy books as well as literary books. If I'm rereading some classic of literature right now that I first read when I was 15, I'll come across a reference to something that NOW I understand, but there was no way I understood it at 15. It just completely breezed over my head.
That's not a reason NOT to read books that are over your head. I think every reader should challenge themselves. Teens should read adult books for the challenges they contain. Not everything you read should be "age appropriate," otherwise you are not pushing and challenging yourself.
This is the main reason I have issues with adult readers who only read YA...but that's another topic.
I'm 15 and I'm absolutely disgusted putting aside the fact that it is a great thriller. I imagine I won't be able to look a couples the same again if I read it at 13.
While I love Gone Girl, I would never let my 13 yr old read it.
I can't understand why some adults read YA...
Maria wrote: "I can't understand why some adults read YA..."I read YA. Part of it is to understand and know what kids are reading and why. So many adults have no idea what their children are reading. They may recognize popular titles....but many have never actually read any of the books for themselves. But that isn't the only reason. I actually enjoy some of the stories and series.
Mochaspresso wrote: "Maria wrote: "I can't understand why some adults read YA..."I read YA. Part of it is to understand and know what kids are reading and why. So many adults have no idea what their children are r..."
That makes sense - I'd want to know what my kids were reading too.
Mochaspresso wrote: "Maria wrote: "I can't understand why some adults read YA..."I read YA. Part of it is to understand and know what kids are reading and why. So many adults have no idea what their children are r..."
I totally agree with your reasons for reading YA.
Not a great genre for young minds. There are better options for 13 year olds, equally as challenging to read. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak; The Divergent Series, The Hunger Games Series, The Fault in Our Stars and Looking for Alaska by John Green, Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell, etc. Of course, if she is anything like I was at 13, she will read it anyway - so be prepared to discuss healthy family relationships.
Diana wrote: "Not a great genre for young minds. There are better options for 13 year olds, equally as challenging to read. The Book Thief by Markus Zusak; The Divergent Series, The Hunger Games Series, The Fau..."Maybe they aren't the books that our young adults are reading! They normally don't read or do things just because their parents wish it. This is the age of experimenting with freedom and it has been so since time as we know it, began.
The author aimed this at an adult readership - look in the libraries. Do you see it in the Young Adult/Teenage section? No. There's a reason for that - it is adult fiction, which does not necessarily mean pornography, eroticism, violence or obscene language. It just means it is aimed at ADULTS not chidren - a 13 year old is, by definition, a child.
I would first teach my future child about it and educate him/her to be more mature about this kind of stuff. I however wouldn't give it to them before I educate them on this kind of stuff but that doesn't mean I wont let them read it at 13 years of age. If it was any lower than 13 I would definitely not recommend it to them unless teaching them about it before they get their hands on the actual book. I think that once you're 13 or over your brain develops more and it allows you to understand more complex dynamics. (I would maybe teach my kids at a younger age so they can understand better)For those who are saying that this book shouldn't be for 13 year old's are just ignorant. I know a whole load of 13 year old's and they have come across books like this in a very mature manner. Whoever says this book is inappropriate for 13 year old's is just stupid. That is basically being stereotypical about all 13 year old's. You need to understand that our generation/century has way more worse things than this book and a lot of 13 year old's know about that worst stuff that our society have influenced in ignorant peoples brains.
Whomever says this book is inappropriate for 13 year old's or even 14 year old's are inappropriate themselves for giving younger people the heads up for the immaturity. Teach, preach then give your children all the freedom they want.
It's not the book that's inappropriate, it is the way you come across the book that defines the immaturity you self proclaim.
Not to be flippant but when I was 13 I wouldn't have even considered asking if I could read the book. I just would have. Not saying that I would understand a lot of it but if it was popular and going around the school I would have read it.
I would not recommend this book to a 13 year old. I too have read and enjoyed Gillian Flynn's other books. I would not consider any of her book's appropriate for teens. Gone Girl with its dark themes, explicit language and sexual manipulation would not be one I'd give to a 13 year old.
I am 13 and I have read the book. However I am classed as a 'mature' 13 year old therefore it differs to me then it does to other less 'mature' 13 year olds.
Charlie xxx wrote: "I am 13 and I have read the book. However I am classed as a 'mature' 13 year old therefore it differs to me then it does to other less 'mature' 13 year olds."Every teen, these days, should be able to read whatever they want provided they have been given the right advice/tools for critical thinking from their parents. Unfortunately, there is still some parents around who don't appreciate that a 13yr olds can distinguish between right and wrong behaviour.
Reading and discussing the issues with young people is vital to their safety and helps enormously with the future choices they make. Pretending that we can protect our children by banning their reading matter while their young minds are getting hammered with some rubbish on UTube and Twitter does not make sense to me.
Hmmmmm... generally I would say "no" .... but on the other hand a lot of currently popular YA fiction is just as dark (if not more so) .... I am thinking about The Hunger Games, Divergent, and other post-apocalyptic fiction for "kids"....though Gone Girl is certainly not "fantasy" as those books are. If anything, it is too real.
NO! I wouldn't think this was appropriate for a teen.
I have read Gone Girl and I'm 13, how do Sharp Objects and Dark Places compare to Gone Girl in terms of the sexual content, as a 13 YO there was too much 'adult' content.
Susan wrote: "No, a 13 would find it boring!"I read it at 12 and I didn't find it boring at all
Judith wrote: "I've read all of Gillian Flynn's books and they are NOT for teens. Gone Girl is the tamest."Right you are. Doesn't make them bad, just not for a 13 year old.
Oh, how we underestimate our young people. When I became a mother, all I could see was a little human being. Everyone aspires to be respected. Why is it so hard for so-called adults to recognize the intelligence of younger people.
As adults, we have already made our childhood mistakes but we are still intent on saving our children from life's lessons. People say they hate war. War comes from a desire for power. Bad relationships come from the desire to dominate. Parents, even modern day parents, either treat their children as inferior or buy favours from them by spoiling them. How can this possibly prepare them for the harsh realities of life.
Our children should NOT be wrapped in cotton wool but allowed to make their own mistakes; the only way to learn if you remember your own past. Children should not be frighten of their parent's judgement. The only way to have a child be honest and open with you is for your to open to anything they have to tell you and for you to treat them with respect and explain your ideas of how their particular misdemeanor could could have been handled and the advantages to them.
Reading books is the best means of opening discussion before deleterious behaviors sets in. I have found children to be remarkably wise. In fact, wiser than adults many years older. Parenting is so important. Thank goodness the old days of a first time mother thinking her baby would be born through her navel has long gone. Surely we can only progress from there.
P.S. My children are now in their 40s and late 30s. I am so proud of them. They are truly great ambassadors for human kind. They have great work ethics and are just so emotionally and mentally intelligent. They accept all people until those people prove to be harmful. I love my children and we have become the best of friends.
Please encourage your children to read but if they select a book above their age group, then you read it too and discuss it with them afterwards.
on
I was 13 when I read this book and I must admit it left me baffled - It definitely wasn't suitable for me at that age!
Ace wrote: "Wise words Laureen."I hope so Ace. Thank you. I do try to see other perspectives. In this case, I just don't understand the most common response here.
I grew up on Freddy Krueger, the next generation after me grew up on Scream, the generation of today is paranormal activity and despite the age restrictions, most teens at my school at the time would have watched a violent, horror movie, far worse than gone girl. Kids will find a way, and it's better if you can talk to them about it. If you have a healthy mind, and good family to comfort you before you go back in to scare yourself again or talk to you about themes, I think teens could pretty much handle anything.
I think certain media has done some scaremongering because some mentally ill people couldn't handle fiction from reality. And now some parents want to bubble wrap their child because a tiny percentage couldn't handle it. But in reality, kids today have access to much more complex, darker storyline in books aimed at them as well as in tv or movies. There is less condescending attitude from book publishers and yet some parents are finding it harder to let go.
I think parents are probably the better judge to know if their child is mentally ready, but at the same time, they also probably find it hard to accept their child is growing up and prevent them from moving on.
I don't think books have the same impact and they're a much more gentler way to introduce dark, violent themes. Certainly provides you with space and time too think about the dark themes you are reading, compared to a movie that is over soon after it has started and you're left with the aftermath of terror without really having a moment to think.
At 13, I was ready to move on to mature, most books aimed at my age were nothing like today, and were far too girly (sweet valley high) or tame, I moved on to books like Stephen King.
I think the only thing against Gone Girl when it comes to teens is that it's slow paced compared to what is already out there for them.
And I bet some of these people who say NO, weren't bubble wrapped themselves. And most people who have had access to dark themes medium in younger years seem to grow up into well rounded individuals.
Well said Nuran. I only wish that my children at age 13 were into reading at all. When they were 13, it was rubbish TV or friends around the neighborhood who were only too free with their uneducated ideas about sex and relationships. That was hard enough yo counteract far less the issues around today like mind damaging drugs etc. It is a pity that some parents continue to live in their own past and have no concept that their own children have moved on much earlier.
Laureen wrote: "Well said Nuran. I only wish that my children at age 13 were into reading at all. When they were 13, it was rubbish TV or friends around the neighborhood who were only too free with their uneducate..."Peer pressure is definitely the strongest influence on teens and possibly the cause of the most destructive behaviour in teens. I don't know if you can even truly counteract that, and you just have to wait for them to learn from their mistakes while being supportive. I'm not looking forward to going through that with mine.
Books themes are the least of my worries.
Yeah, I agree. Two of my grand children, one a girl now 14 and one a boy now 13 are at an age that will start testing their parents. But I am not too worried because I know their parents are very switched on.
I am 13 and I completely understood every aspect of the book. You adults often underestimate advanced readers...
I believe you are right Ivy. From the moment my children were born and I watched their progress in discovering the world around them, I knew they were little human beings with their own individual innate intelligence. They were definitely not my new pets to be petted and overpowered by my own ideas and concepts of life.My children were allowed to make their own mistakes as I considered this was the best early education they could have; to learn to own their mistakes and take responsibility for them. Of course, I watched over them like a mother hen and worried about them and gave advice when I considered it necessary but the ultimate choice had to be theirs. How else can a fledgling turn into a fully rounded adult?
Is the 13-y.o. married and in an abusive relationship? If so, this would be an interesting read.
No!!! have her read something YA.
I can think of few who would encourage a thirteen-year-old to read it. The foul language takes a backseat only to the depravity of the central character.
Its the content . So no I wouldn't
it's probably a good book for young readers to introduce them to complexities and moral ambiguities of adulthood and marriage
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You can't just lump all books into the category of "fiction". Do you honestly think a 13 year old would feel safe and secure after finishing Gone Girl? I'm 51 and it creeped me out.