Gone Girl
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Is this appropriate for a 13-year-old advanced reader?
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Sarai
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Jan 13, 2014 03:08PM

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Until I read your comment this hadn't occurred to me. Surely an advanced reader is off finding things to read for themselves. Working out what they like and don't like. Isn't that part of the joy of reading? Looking back I remember being given books to read at school, but other than that I found my own way. I don't think anyone would have said "you're an advanced reader" but surely this means more than just understanding difficult words but seeking out the more challenging, interesting material.
But to answer the initial question. NO. Of course a book about a pyschopath and a philandering husband isn't suitable for a 13yr old. There is some great, challenging YA fiction out there that deals with some very tough issues. A 13 yr doesn't have to be reading about warped adult relationships!

I completely agree with Nikki.




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Swearing happens if they're teens go to school watch TV or even read YA book they defiantly have heard swearing

It is not required that a reader understand every single detail or nuance of a book in order to read it.
It's okay to read some books that are a little beyond one's complete understanding.


The F bomb is dropped quite a bit - I know she's heard it before but I don't want her to think it's appropriate to just say it in normal conversation.
The more you hear it or read it, it becomes second nature to you - and you incorporate it into your own vocabulary. Which I'd rather she didn't.
It's just not a kid book.


I agree with Josh, I don't think this book is something you should intentionally share with your 13-year-old. It doesn't have any redeeming qualities or life lessons, and if my mom gave me that book when I was 13 I would've been like "What the hell is she trying to tell me?"
A 13 year old might enjoy the book, but their enjoyment/comprehension level is not the point. Plenty of adults don't understand what's going on in Gone Girl.


I don't think "Gone Girl" is great literature, but there is certainly great literature out there that is very dark. When I was twelve I remember reading "The Handmaid's Tale" and "Agaguk" as extra reads for my teachers. Both were darker than Gone Girl. Did I "get" those books completely at twelve? Perhaps not. But I certainly wasn't warped by having read them either.

Would you let them choose their own movies too? What if they chose a nice porn flick?
Most 13 year olds could not find their butt with both hands and a flashlight - they have limited common sense - that's why they have parents.

They're kids, let em try on some identities and see what they like. On the other hand, I wouldn't let them watch porn unless they went out and bought their own copy. And I wouldn't let them watch it in a common family room. That's just good manners.

Parents have the responsibility to make choices for children that are in their best interests.
Hopefully, usually (sometimes not) the common sense comes eventually for kids. The fact that they have none at 13 is not the result of good or bad parenting. It's just how they are - children with immature minds making inappropriate choices.
Do you have any children, or is this just a hypothetical question for you? Your whole perspective of what you let them do changes when it becomes reality vs. what you think you'd do.
At least it should.

So, I assume you're also going to stop a 13-year-old masturbating. Good luck with that.
You also need to remember that 20-30% of children live in alcoholic and/or abusive homes and are forced to become responsible way too soon. At 11, I was sent to do the round of bars in my town to find my father. My mother didn't want me to bring my father home, she just wanted me to get the car keys. And that's nothing compared to what many children experience.
in 30 years of working in C-level jobs, when I interviewed people to work in my department, I quickly learned how to spot victims of abusive and alcoholic families. If they were smart enough, I would always hire them because they invariably had better work ethics than the normies. However, children can get too damaged and traumatized by their childhoods. and that's true even of kids who are from dysfunctional families.
Please do not compartmentalize kids based on age only. It's not a one size fits all world we inhabit.
The library and now Kindle and the Internet saves many kids' lives, Including mine. Get out of your happy bubble and grow up.

That sounds like a horrible situation you were in at such a young age. Just because you were exposed to bad things early doesn't mean we should allow our own kids to grow up fast like that. I would think that by having to go through that yourself you would be even more protective of teens and tweens - making sure they stay young and innocent (as best you can) as long as possible.
Sure, we can't really control what they do - if they are rebellious and headstrong, they will do what they want. But we can influence them and give them that "moral compass" to help them.
I agree that you can't go by age. You have to go by maturity level - but I don't know too many 13 year olds who are mature enough to benefit from watching porn.
Even from my "happy bubble" I can see that they do start having sex much earlier these days but 13 is way too young!
By the way, you ought to try the "happy bubble" thing - lowers your blood pressure to be happy, plus it just feels good! :)


Books, music, theatre and friends do make me happy.

Or are your children not allowed to go to the library unsupervised?
I have kids, and this is not a book I'll be reading to my six year old. Nor is it a book I would give to her to read in six years. It's simply not on my list of books that I want to expose my kids to. However, I will not be making any attempt to limit my children's access to legal reading material. What they choose to take out from the library and read is up to them.

Fustian - My kids can go unsupervised to the library any time they want. I am confident that they would choose books that are appropriate for their age and maturity level. You never know what kids will "pick up and read" - true. But kids raised in a home where clear moral standards are set out as a family are more likely to choose wisely.
And DUH - we know this book isn't even close to being porn - that was just an example used in one of my comments. Someone made the point that we should let children choose everything - books, movies, etc. for themselves. I asked if that included letting them watch porn as their movie of choice.
You should rethink your last sentence, Fustian. A parent is supposed to guide their children and help them make wise choices. ANY legal reading material? At any age?
It's not worth it to try to be one of those "cool" parents who don't set any rules for their kids. Kids need rules and it's up to parents to set limits.
Maybe they'll follow them, maybe not. Hopefully so. But you know they won't follow rules or guidelines if none are set and they are left to figure out what's appropriate or not by themselves, using their limited knowledge and life experience.

-Fallen Series by Lauren Kate
-The Fault in Our Stars
-Aurora Sky series by Nikki Jefford (mature YA)
-Splintered Series by A.G. Howard
-The Covenant Series by Jennifer Armentrout
-Miss Me Not by Tiffany King
-Dangerous Creatures series
-Wanderlove by Belle Mallory
-ARV 3 by Cameo Renae
-Hidden Wings Trilogy by Cameo Renae
-Suddenly Royal by Nichole Chase
-Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion
-The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky
-Eve by Anna Carey
-This is Not a Test by Courtney Summers
-A Darkness Shattered by Bruce Clothier
-Chosen by Sarah Swan
-The Hunger Games trilogy by Suzanne Collins
-The Immortals Series by Alyson Noel
-The Forever Trilogy by B. Alston & Q. Ramey
-The Dream Realms Trilogy by Sophia Sharp
These are all advanced books, and some do contain some questionable content, but they all fall in the YA category. However, any dark/explicit content is balanced out by the overall message of the books, and I would not deter my own older children from reading any of them. There's a good range of different genres there, hopefully to appease any type of young reader. I've personally read all of these and enjoyed them myself. Hope that helps some.

It has nothing to do with being "cool". My kids have appropriate limits and rules. It was how I was raised, and how my parents were raised. It's the great joy and wonder that comes with mastering reading - the world of knowledge and experiences that it opens up to you. When my daughter mastered reading she got her own library card and was told that she could now take out whatever books she wanted from the library. She can, of course, also read any book that we have in the house.
I don't see how I would go around stopping my children from accessing legal reading material even should I choose to do so. I certainly am not going to vet every choice my kids make at the library. That would be extremely controlling.
If I see that my kids are reading something that I think is questionable, I will discuss it with them. However, for the most part, I am simply looking forward to sharing the many wonderful books there are out there with them.
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