Is this appropriate for a 13-year-old advanced reader?

[Matt]

fuck no.

[Mitch]

Although my reading choices were barely monitored when I was that age and read voraciously ("Rich Man Poor Man" ; "The Other Side of Midnight"; etc.) I do not feel this is an appropriate book for a thirteen year-old reader, no matter how advanced or above their reading level they may be. They may not be able to pick up on the psychological subtleties in this book, but there is more venom and darkness than a child that age needs to be buried in during the reading experience. YA novels are very advanced these days and contain very complex story lines. Give those books to a 13 year old. If the reader is truly advanced, then it is the perfect time to introduce Faulkner, Hemingway, etc. Be responsible, please. This is an excellent book, but it has an intended ADULT audience.

[Margo]

No - give it a couple of more years. It would definitely be rated R as a movie.

[Susan]

No, a 13 would find it boring!

[The Loopy Librarian]

I wouldn't recommend it for a 13-yr old. It is sexually explicit, has lots of foul language, violent images, and adult subject matter. An advanced reader needs advanced vocabulary and sentence structure, not advanced (adult) material. I'd recommend something tried and true like Little Women or Pride and Prejudice.

[Stefani]

Judith wrote: "I've read all of Gillian Flynn's books and they are NOT for teens. Gone Girl is the tamest."

Agreed. Flynn's books are not for the faint of heart and certainly not for a young teenager. This one has a lot of very crude and sexist language as well as some explicit descriptions of sexual situations too. Not to mention that it features characters that are severely mentally ill and displaying only the most negative and destructive of relationship patterns. In my opinion, a 13 year old would definitely not have the maturity and perspective to see this book the way it was intended.

[KJ]

Nooooooo! Absolutley not!

[Constance]

Absolutely not. At least 18 before this read.

[Trish Nunez]

No, I would wait a little longer for her to read this book. I loved the book but it is crazy and not appropriate for a 13 year old. I have a gifted daughter who's now 21 and I can remember back when she was that age really watching what I allowed her to read. This one is one of those that I wouldn't have given her back then. What about Secret Life of Bees or The Help?

[Shane]

I think that most young folks can make their own choices and decisions so long as they know what sort of stuff is in books such as this; I actually wouldn't have been as troubled by books such as this as I was with a movie such as "Jaws" - which gave me nightmares for months afterward.

[Shannon]

I do not think Gone Girl is appropriate reading for a 13 year old.

[Traveljunkie331]

definitely not. it has lots of sexual content which is okay for an adult but not for a 13 year old.

[Autumn]

I wouldn't recommend it for someone that age. I definitely wouldn't want my 14 year old sister to read it!

[Lynn]

NO. Don't confuse intelligence and advanced reading levels with maturity. The do not go hand in hand.

[Brolie]

Not appropriate for a 13 year old. It may be the cleanest of her three books, but no- no matter how "advanced" she is, I would not recommend it. I would give a movie rating of "R" to all 3 of Flynn's books. She is a very bold author who writes about things that most other contemporary authors shy away from. Love her for it, but I still wouldn't let my 13 year old read it. Discretion.

[Tammy]

Carol wrote: "I would not recommend it because I don't believe the story would be edifying for a young mind. There are so many BETTER choices!"

Agreed.

[Paul]

NO! This and all of Flynn's books are fantastic but NOT for the young'ens. My son is an advanced reading almost 13 year old and I would never let him near these and Trust me I am far from a prude. Explicit sexual language and situations and very adult situations. Not to mention the (spoiler warning....)......................................................Description of a faked rape which gets a little too graphic for a child.

[Kathy]

Ashley wrote: "To answer the title, No, I don't think it's "appropriate" for a 13 YO kid."

I agree. The content is not appropriate and the writing, while they may be able to read the words, they may not understand the deeper meaning. But above all else, it's too grown up for a 13 year old.

[Pamela]

Elizabeth wrote: "As the mother of a 12 1/2 year old who has always read above her grade level, I would not recommend my daughter read this book. It is not that I don't think she'd be able to comprehend the story, ..."

Well said!

[Gayle]

Loved the book; looking forward to reading more by her, but I don't think I'd encourage a 13 year old to read it. Don't know that I'd actively stop her from reading it, though. Do agree with the others that parents know best how their children will respond to language, subject matter, themes.

[Moedawg63]

no. the end.

[Melanie]

Don't censor. Let her read it then discuss it. If you say no, she will read it anyway and not feel like she is able to talk to you about it.

[Jenn (One of Many, We are Legion)]

Melanie wrote: "Don't censor. Let her read it then discuss it. If you say no, she will read it anyway and not feel like she is able to talk to you about it."

While I agree with everyone who has pointed to your daughter's maturity level as differing from her reading level, I have to also agree with Melanie that if she really wants to read the book, she will do it with or without your blessing. When I was 14, I really wanted to watch Silence of the Lambs. My dad checked around and decided it was completely inappropriate for me to watch the movie. I went out and bought the book with my own money and read that sucker anyway. The book is just as vivid as the movie, perhaps even more so. Point is, my dad's attempt to protect me really kind of backfired.

The best course of action, depending on your kid, may be for you to both read the book and discuss the content and themes in it as you go, so you can perhaps provide a context for what she is reading and answer any questions she might have about relationships.

We might also all want to take a step back and stop being so naive here. Your kids are hearing and seeing far, far worse and vulgar things in school and on the internet than they will ever read in a Flynn book. A lot of you will defensively disagree, but let's get honest here. They know a lot more than you give them credit for. Maybe giving them your blessing on certain reading materials and discussing it with them in an adult fashion will do them much more good in the long run than pretending it doesn't exist.

[Paul]

Melanie wrote: "Don't censor. Let her read it then discuss it. If you say no, she will read it anyway and not feel like she is able to talk to you about it."

Do Not confuse Censorship with good parenting. Keeping your children away from age inappropriate material IS NOT CENSORSHIP.
Children are children...not adults...common sense right?
Why doesnt anyone think children should be allowed to keep their innocence as long as humanly possible? They have a lifetime of adult material ahead of them and only a few short years to enjoy and soak up all thats meant for them.

[Mya]

Melanie wrote: "Don't censor. Let her read it then discuss it. If you say no, she will read it anyway and not feel like she is able to talk to you about it."

I was a 13-year-old advanced reader. If the 13-year-old knows of the book and wishes to read it, I would first suggest to the teen that he or she wait a couple of years. If the 13-year-old is going to read it anyway, then yes, I support Melanie's point. I wish I'd had someone to talk to about a lot of what I read when I was a teenager. The relationship dynamics in Gone Girl are very dark & broken, but if your teen reads the book it might be an opportunity to discuss what a healthy relationship would look like. That's a conversation too few adults have with teens.

[Mya]

Paul wrote: "Do Not confuse Censorship with good Do Not confuse Censorship with good parenting. Keeping your children away from age inappropriate material IS NOT CENSORSHIP.
Children are children...not adults...common sense right?
Why doesnt anyone think children should be allowed to keep their innocence as long as humanly possible? They have a lifetime of adult material ahead of them and only a few short years to enjoy and soak up all thats meant for them. ..."

Paul- I agree with you that part of a parent's job is to filter content for their children, & that doing so is not censorship. And I agree that in an ideal world Gone Girl is too advanced/dark for a 13yo. But a 13yo is rapidly passing the point of being a "child" & is well able to obtain & read a copy of a book whether or not the adults in his or her life approve - I did so all the time.

IF this is a situation where the kid is going to read the book anyway (& I don't know that it is), THEN it is far better to read it with an adult supervising and using the book as a way to discuss aspects of what makes a relationship healthy or unhealthy.

I read everything I could get my hands on, from a very young age, and attempts to keep books from me because they were "inappropriate" led to me reading those same books as soon as possible. I would have been much better off with someone reading along with me and talking to me about the ideas and concepts I was ingesting.

[Paul]

Mya wrote: "Paul wrote: "Do Not confuse Censorship with good Do Not confuse Censorship with good parenting. Keeping your children away from age inappropriate material IS NOT CENSORSHIP.
Children are children...."

I am on my second very advanced reading and precocious 13 year old (two boys) I understand every aspect of the argument and 13 is still a child and a child should be reading and viewing age appropriate material.
I also work with children every day of my life in that age range and am a retired youth soccer coach who coached 10-16 year olds for more time than I care to comment on. I know children, I have seen the most advanced of them boys and girls but they are still all children.

[Jenn (One of Many, We are Legion)]

I'm with Mya on this one. There is a very fine line between good parenting and burying your head in the sand. I understand, Paul, that you think a 13 year old is still a child. I think we all agree that from our perspective they are. That's not how they think, however, and it's certainly not how they behave and speak when the adults are out of range. Put differently, you think you're keeping them away from material you think is age inappropriate. You're not. They just obtain it away from your prying eyes.

I was very much like Mya as a kid and my reading. I was obsessed with Agatha Christie (and doing book reports on her novels) when I was only 8. I was reading Stephen King by the time I was 10. No one batted an eye and despite being dark reading for my age, it in no way turned me into a serial killer or messed up my psyche.

I think the bigger point here is that no one but the OP can make this decision, because it is based entirely on parenting style and the nature of the child involved. Not one person here can make that decision for the OP, and not ONE of you can say that whatever decision he makes is wrong for his circumstances.

[Paul]

Jenn wrote: "That's not how they think, however, and it's certainly not how they behave and speak when the adults are out of range."
Very Wrong I work in a school full of them and when they dont know I can hear or realize im there then you hear the true child come out. Realize how immature these "advanced" children really are.

[Mya]

Paul wrote: "Mya wrote: "Paul wrote: "Do Not confuse Censorship with good Do Not confuse Censorship with good parenting. Keeping your children away from age inappropriate material IS NOT CENSORSHIP.
Children a..."

Paul - Congratulations - your sons are lucky to have a parent as involved as you are!

However you miss my point. I am not saying a 13yo is not a child. I am saying a 13yo is able to obtain & read a book despite (or because of) being told it is inappropriate. And if that's going to happen, far better that the reading takes place with an adult discussing the material with the 13yo.

My stepfather, who had introduced me to many age-appropriate authors & who loved reading with me, died when I was 12 & left me his library. So from age 13 on I lived in a house full of books. There was no reasonable way to keep me from reading those books. We didn't have the space or the money for the books to go into storage, for example. My mother's attempt to cull the books she felt were inappropriate just led to me finding where she had hidden them & reading them asap. So whether or not a child "should" be reading only age-appropriate material, it's not always feasible. In my situation I would have been far better off had an adult cared enough to read the books along with me and discuss them with me.

[Jenn (One of Many, We are Legion)]

Paul wrote: "Jenn wrote: "That's not how they think, however, and it's certainly not how they behave and speak when the adults are out of range."
Very Wrong I work in a school full of them and when they dont kn..."

I know people who work in schools as well and if you honestly believe they aren't saying and doing things that are wildly age inappropriate, then you aren't listening hard enough. Also, don't confuse immaturity with stupidity. If you aren't hearing/seeing any of these behaviors, then it's very likely they are aware of adults nearby.

I know one person who works in a middle and high school who actually looks young enough to pass for a student on occasion, even though he graduated long ago. Because of his looks, the students don't really view him as one of the adults, like they do teachers and administrators, but instead as a peer. The things he hears from their mouths...

Go check out the average facebook page of any kid between 13 and 15 and tell me what you see. I see the pages of my younger family members, the pages of friends' family members. The content and language are far from childlike.

I'm talking about 12 to 14 year olds talking about sexual acts that they give and receive. Language that would make a sailor blush. Wearing clothing that even an exotic dancer might find too revealing. The list goes on.

I know they are immature, but they don't know that and the harder you push to keep them "innocent," the harder they will push back. In their minds, they are old enough to make decisions for themselves because they "aren't a kid anymore." Kids are predictable - they've been scheming behind our backs since long before we were kids ourselves. We all learned and employed the same tricks. We weren't unique in that respect, and they aren't either.

All of this misses part of the greater point - you want to keep them away because it's age inappropriate and you don't want to expose them to it. The cold, hard truth is that they already are exposed to it. They see and hear things from their peers far worse than Flynn ever wrote in her books, so it's all really rather moot.

It's like Mya said - a 13 year old can very easily obtain and read any age inappropriate book they want. Whether they should read the book is a very different question from whether or not they will, so it's useless to pretend that by simply telling them "no," they will just blindly listen. That's why myself and several others think the better solution is to read and discuss with your kids instead of just pretending it doesn't exist and pretending they will remain innocent forever.

[Paul]

Jenn wrote: "Paul wrote: "Jenn wrote: "That's not how they think, however, and it's certainly not how they behave and speak when the adults are out of range."
Very Wrong I work in a school full of them and when..."
I think you read me Wrong I said that I hear HOW IMMATURE they really are despite acting older or more grown up. I was saying that when they think grown ups arent listening no matter how advanced they are you hear they are still immature ...saying things that are wildly age inappropriate doesnt make them mature it just means they listen to or see too much crap and parrot it back.

And Mya
I have yet to meet a parent who cant keep track of what their child reads...books arent like pot their isnt some dealer dealing adult books on the corner to the children who then sneak into an alley or a friends basement and read by lava lamp while burning incense to cover the new book smell.

Say no, do a random book bag and room check every once in a while and talk to theyre teachers and friends parents its not that difficult. Seriously.

[Jenn (One of Many, We are Legion)]

Paul - yes, I very much might have read you wrong. I agree they sound extremely immature, especially when trying to be "grown up." They continue to try, however, and I think it's our job as adults to help guide them as seamlessly as possible into adulthood. IMO, communication is key to that goal.

As far as being able to keep track of what a kid is reading, and saying there isn't some "dealer," there's where you would be wrong. Your confidence that there is not one parent you've ever met that can't keep track of what their kid reads just shows me you are being incredibly naive. Yes, there are "dealers" all over the place. I can name at least 4 or 5 off the top of my head. Are you completely unaware that we live in a digital age now? I'm not just referring to legit, purchased e-books, but even scans of paper books that have been converted to PDF form. Pirating is rampant for all things digital, including books. Kids are far, far more savvy when it comes to digital content than are most of the adults surrounding them, and to discount digital content so readily leads me to believe you aren't as aware as you think you are.

Second, do you really think that a kid is so stupid, so unsavvy, that they can't figure out how to hide something from you, especially if they know you're snooping? I had a girlfriend in grade school get a music album taken away from her as age-inappropriate. My mom didn't mind me listening to that music, though. What did she do? She came over to my house to listen, and kept HER copy at MY house. You hide things in lockers, vents, etc. It's really not difficult.

So, that brings us back to the question. Exactly what is your objection to actually talking to your children about something they want to read, instead of hiding it from them? Why are you so adamantly opposed to having discourse with the young?

[Mya]

Paul wrote: "I have yet to meet a parent who cant keep track of what their child reads...books arent like pot their isnt some dealer dealing adult books on the corner to the children who then sneak into an alley or a friends basement and read by lava lamp while burning incense to cover the new book smell.
..."

Paul, if the children in question are consistently obedient, then perhaps you are right. However that would not have worked for me. I was mostly a good kid. I went to school and did my chores. But while there may not have been a dealer dealing books on the corner, as a child and a teenager I frequently snuck books all sorts of places so that I could read them. I snuck them into my room at night, into the bathroom (since there was a lock on the door), outside where I was supposed to be "exercising" or "enjoying the day," on the bus to school so I could read at recess. I snuck them for a bunch of reasons: mostly because people gave me grief for reading so much, but sometimes because I thought the book might be salacious and I didn't want to argue about whether or not I "should" be reading it. I read very very quickly. It was no problem for me to sneak a book, read that night (by flashlight under the covers if need be), & return it to the shelf the next day. I was going to read, no matter what. I just wish there had been an adult who cared enough to talk to me about what I was reading.

It is noble to try to protect your children. I would do the same. But a parent trying to keep me from reading "inappropriate" material would have had to body search me every day, and then never sleep at night. That wouldn't have been parenting, it would have been putting me in jail. All because I wanted to read something that some people might think was "inappropriate." Seriously?

[Paul]

Jenn wrote: "Paul - yes, I very much might have read you wrong. I agree they sound extremely immature, especially when trying to be "grown up." They continue to try, however, and I think it's our job as adult..."

I have no problem with talking to the young. The point was she asked if it was appropriate, for opinions, I believe it is not. and a book .....................SPOILERS>................................................................................where a girl shoves a wine bottle deep inside herself to fake rape or where they talk about cumming on her tits are indeed not appropriate for a child. I suppose you have no problems with a 13 year old watching a scene from an adult movie then...you now so long as we can talk about it.
She Asked for opinions I gave it...

[Janis]

Again "well said". Not a book for a 13 yo. Too dark and a young reader is not going to understand the two perspectives of the book.

Shannon wrote: "Elizabeth wrote: "As the mother of a 12 1/2 year old who has always read above her grade level, I would not recommend my daughter read this book. It is not that I don't think she'd be able to comp..."

[Mya]

Janis wrote: "Again "well said". Not a book for a 13 yo. Too dark and a young reader is not going to understand the two perspectives of the book.

Janis, I haven't seen anyone on this thread say the book is appropriate for a 13yo. What some people said is that IF the 13yo is going to read it whether or not a parent deems it appropriate, THEN it is better to create a situation where the child can read it openly and discuss the issues raised by this book with adults.

[[deleted user]]

I think you should read it aloud to pre-K.

[MommyDearest]

Jeremy wrote: "I think you should read it aloud to pre-K."


Maybe they'll come out with a pop up book.

[Melanie]

Paul wrote: Do Not confuse Censorship with good ..."

Kids don't live in boxes or bubbles and things get through not matter how much you try to hold the world back. It's just more of a shock if they are never exposed to anything and it's worse if they feel they have no one to talk to about it.

Why are parents more hesitant to talk to their kids about sex than violence, and which one do you think they are more curious about first? It's so backwards.

While I may not recommend this to a 13 year old as a book choice, I still maintain that if they really want to read it then let them and talk about it and leave it open for conversation and learning. Keep it positive.

Also, and I know this is TOTALLY extreme, but many violent criminals grow up in rigid and isolated households more than any other type of household. Talking to your kids about everything gives them the best chance to properly interpret the world around them and their feelings.

[Anna]

Its a pretty dark book with unlikeable characters - Id say no to a 13 year old reading it - simply because I think it has a really jaded life view - but Id say if they wanted to read it and were very keen to read it why not as long as they could perhaps discuss their thoughts on it as theyre reading it?

[[deleted user]]

Anna, I agree, there is nothing in here you would not find in a teen problem novel, good parents would read it with their kids, nothing worse than CSI on prime time...

[[deleted user]]

On a side note, this discussion is overlong and ridiculous.

[MommyDearest]

Melanie wrote: "Paul wrote: Do Not confuse Censorship with good ..."

Kids don't live in boxes or bubbles and things get through not matter how much you try to hold the world back. It's just more of a shock if th..."



Why do you think if any of wouldn't let our kids read the book at the age of 13 that they live in a rigid household?

I think this book is totally inappropriate for my 13 yr old son. I highly doubt it's offered at the jr high library and he doesn't buy books off of Amazon or any other place. It's not his kind of book anyway, he likes Lord of the Rings, Eragon and the like but if he did ask to read it my answer would be no.

Sex talk or questions are not taboo in our household but this book is inappropriate for a 13 yr old kid and before people want to tell me how kids know this and that I do also have a 23 and a 25 yr old so I am familiar with kids.

[Pat]

Jeremy wrote: "Have you read any teen books lately? They talk about all that stuff. Again, parenting has a lot to do with it.

You don't think a 13 year old knows what a BJ is?"

[Pat]

I am really curious about your children- do you have any and how old are they?

[Susan]

Bottom line..the book was boring..I feel a teenager would be bored. What is there possibly in this book that a teenager could relate to? I would LET them read it, but I'd say "You can probably find thousands of better books to read"

[Betsy]

No, I wouldn't recommend this for a young teen, regardless of reading level. I agree with an earlier post about "foul, crude, explicit sexual language".

Amy's character is beyond angry (obviously) about her husband's affair... just imagine the descriptive language that plays out in her thoughts!

[Jayne]

OMG No, no, no. I've just written a review of Gone Girl, and changed my initial rating of four stars to two. The book is very well written, but the language, the hatred and bile are disturbing even for a very liberal 40 something. I let my kids read whatever they want but I would draw the line at this. Absolutely.

[Paul]

Jayne wrote: "OMG No, no, no. I've just written a review of Gone Girl, and changed my initial rating of four stars to two. The book is very well written, but the language, the hatred and bile are disturbing ev..."
I'm confused why did you change your rating from 4 to 2 when you said it was very well written? Is it because of the language and bile? that would seem an ill advised way to rate a book.