This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For discussion
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I think you allow yer children too much commandWHO ME PERSONALLY??
http://dictionary.reference.com/brows..."command" has a broader meaning then most give it. For this case I suggest looking at #4
It is a common mistake made by new young Corporals too. I'm not a parent nor will I ever be but I do have an intricate understanding of command control, and respect.
well even a broken watch is right twice a day.
My youngest is super Goddamned commanding, that's for sure. But I don't think I allow it.
Isn't that a modified take on Carl Marx' idea? It sounds like a modified take on Aldous Huxley.
Dave wrote: "It sounds like a modified take on Aldous Huxley."
It's been done people (damn Germans), and the results weren't too great...
Gretchen: What do you do to correct it?Kasia: What was deficient about it?
Dave: Was Aldous more into the engineered society? I just don't want to see/deal/interact kids.
No I think my way is better, Donna, naturally... But your right, "grown ups" should have some access if they want it... we could set up a petting zoo type facility. Would that fulfill you cute fix?
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "Gretchen: What do you do to correct it?So far I've tried: reprimanding her, ignoring her/refusing to give her what she's demanding, and teaching her some sign language.
I'm willing to try other stuff too but I can't think of anything else right now.
ice cream... I suggest ice cream.
I wasn't kidding when I said ice cream... Look, you give it bowl of ice cream; the (3) of you eat it[the ice cream not it:] and you pump it up as high as you can wail you all are eating it. It is best if they participate in the dialog.
Then when it starts to act bossy you just go make yourself a bowl of ice cream, sit and watch her throw a fit. Don't even respond to her tantrums, just watch. If you do say anything it should be about how good the ice cream is and how you wish there was someone nice to share it with.
ice-cream => You'll end up with a fattie and you'll have problems stuffing it in a car seat.duct tape => Won't hold, the small suckers are to nimble.
benadryl => You'll be upping and upping the dosage; and you'd sooner go bankrupt than have the kid all submissive and humble
I'd recommend dog training? Simple, repetitive, with tiny prizes for good behavior... Start with: "sit" and take it from there.
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "I wasn't kidding when I said ice cream... Look, you give it bowl of ice cream; the (3) of you eat it[the ice cream not it:] and you pump it up as high as you can wail you all are eating it. It ..."
I need some further clarification on how to "pump it up" what does this mean? are you just referring to getting jacked up on sugar?
The dog training is pretty much it, I think.
As useall kasia is WRONG.Sure use ice cream... But you have to increas the amount of obedience and discipline, per/bowl. If you maintain or increase the amount of ice cream per correction then you will have a fat floppy cry baby. But if they have to do more and more to get that serving size then you win... so
1st time: Stop being a little fucker= ice cream
2nd time: stop being a little fucker= ice cream
3rd time: stop being a little fucker, clean room= ice cream
4th time: stop being a little fucker, clean room, help mom with something= ice cream
5th time: stop being a little fucker, help momwith something, clean the toilet daddy uses, wash hands= ice cream
If they everf complain about having to display discipline or obedience they loose, no ice cream, no affection. just parental demand of clean room, help mom with something clean the toilet daddy uses, wash hands, help fold laundry. you know put them to work like kids in China, then tell them how lucky they are to be American otherwise you would sell them to a sweat shop where they would just get a bowl of rice for all their work.
pump it up... you know... MMMMM wow! this is soooo good don't you think...A fucking pep rally about ice cream when they are eating it, I don't see what is so confusing about that. Their already happy about eating it so just get all hyper about eating it too. Make it seem a lot better then it really is.
Sure, make them work, yeah! But ice cream? I'm still not buying it...1. I know some kids that are not big on ice cream. It's really more video games that has them going.
2. Oh, hell ok I give you this one, it might be pretty good conditioning after all.
Don't reward with food! They'll associate feelings of acceptance and well-doing with food! Don't do that to a kid! She might develop an oral fixation!
A kid that doesn't like ice cream... Ok there is no longer any doubt, you are definitely European. I know this because of my friend with the Russian "non"mail order bride wink wink nudge nudge, and her mother... you see they love "American" ice cream. It's the cats ass the bee's knees. I always though haggen das was good but apparently this just isn't the case. And now that you are adding more evidence to the pile... Wow!
so she will be popular after football games I don't see a problem with that :D
look the ice cream is just to get the ball rolling if you are using the icecream after a few months I think you just need to use a belt and forget everything else.
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "pump it up... you know... MMMMM wow! this is soooo good don't you think...A fucking pep rally about ice cream when they are eating it, I don't see what is so confusing about that. ..."
OH AHAHAHAHHAHHHAHAAA! What's confusing is she's 16 months old. You're so silly!!! You can't pump up ice cream to a 16-month-old. I mean you can, but she'll only stick out her tongue, make a growlie noise, and then giggle at you because your pep rally is funny looking.
I swear, if I had known good positive dog training before I had had Jake, I think I would have had a much better time! Simple easy training. I think not only is it good for young kids, but husbands as well! Especially the one for teaching dogs not to jump on you. Turn around with arms crossed, nope, no attention until you BEHAVE!
Good luck Gretchen, I wish I had some good tips for you. I know lots of people use the star thingy, and after a certain amount of stars the kid gets a reward. (Like ice cream..uh oh) There's always the time out - not as a punishment but more of a "you need some time out to calm down. When you are able to act more appropriate we can talk."
When she gets older it becomes easier - docking computer or video game time (or the equivalent). Hallelujah! That gets a fire lit under my kid.
I am not a parent, so this feels silly, but I've taken Jim Fay's Love & Logic classes that pertain to teaching and classroom management, and I've read some of the books, and they're really good: http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/46...
And is it just me, or does this thread title still jar you a little each time you see it? It's really weird. I think VJ was high when she made that post.
Gretchen, does your kid seem more of everything than other kids? More willful, persistent in her demands where distraction that works with other kids is useless with her, more intense, more drama, just MORE!? Because all 4 year olds are pretty commanding. If yours seems worse and nothing seems to work, lucky you! You may have a
Jake was/is like that, and I have got a book for you - this helped me more than any other book out there, and most advice as well from people who just didn't get that my kid seemed to operate differently than most. http://www.goodreads.com/book/show/18...
Another nice simple series that gives you the inside scoop on what's going on with development is Your XX Year Old. It's outdated for some stuff, but one of the best to give you insight into the behavioral development of each age. Read the reviews here at Amazon, I agree with both the pros and cons. They are fast reading, short, and will just give you basic understanding, allowing you to sigh with relief that your daughter is just doing what she needs to do.
Thanks for the suggestions, Lori! (It's actually my 16-month-old that's giving me a hard time right now but you know, if it's not one it's the other!)
Montambo wrote: "And is it just me, or does this thread title still jar you a little each time you see it? It's really weird. I think VJ was high when she made that post."Hee hee! YES!
Also Serv's "clean the toilet daddy uses, wash hands" quite delighted me.
Few things:Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "... you see they love "American" ice cream. It's the cats ass the bee's knees. I always though haggen das was good but apparently this just isn't the case. "
Claiming superiority of American ice cream? Donno, Italian gelato, grean tea mochi and the red bean ice cream are on top of my list... Haagen Dazs, Ben & Jerry's and Dairy Queen - all very good, but not that special.
And ice cream love is a universal thing, but I do know that one kid... (he's a freak)
Montambo wrote: "Don't reward with food! They'll associate feelings of acceptance and well-doing with food! Don't do that to a kid! She might develop an oral fixation!"
Ha! So freudian of you Tambo, hope you're not drawing on presonal experiences... Now, I don't buy into Freud, but if there's something you think I should know, please do tell.
Lori wrote: "...good positive dog training.... I think not only is it good for young kids, but husbands as well!..."
I'm so with you on that one Lori!
Tom wrote: "Hickory switch? Leather belt?"
I like me a good spanking, how did you know?
Doni wrote: "Also Serv's "clean the toilet daddy uses, wash hands" quite delighted me."
There's something wrong there... "clean the toilet daddy uses" - doesn't sound right...
"clean the toilet daddy uses" is exactly right. In my house daddy does, in fact, have a toilet that only he uses. It's for serious business only.
Kasia, you obviously don't have what us pleasantly plump folk call "weight issues" because if you did, you'd have read all these articles that say that we need to get metacognitive about our eating habits because many get comfort from food and eat not when hungry, but when feeling sad or anxious or whatever, and then they say, "blah blah childhood rewards blah blah."
Hymmm, I don't use food just for fuel (my mother does and it's scary), and I think it's natural that there are some emotions attached to the process, but I never made the childhood rewards connection... Intriguing. I'm sure fun to analyze too, but is there a point to it really? Does it help to know that? Not sure...
Servius Sextus Heiner wrote: "Sure use ice cream... But you have to increas the amount of obedience and discipline, per/bowl. If you maintain or increase the amount of ice cream per correction then yo..."Great, now you've raised a child to be a big fat asshole!
yeah, but fat assholes are easy to beat up, then they are whinny assholes which are so much more fun to beat up then just simply fat assholes.Harry your still a pussy, glad to see you back.
Montambo wrote: "Don't reward with food! They'll associate feelings of acceptance and well-doing with food! Don't do that to a kid! She might develop an oral fixation!"Oral fixation?
Yes, Nick, but that's not the difficult part. The difficult part is the chewing of the cheeks, the pushing on the teeth until they hurt, the lipgloss addiction, the smoking, the eating, the obsession with kissing (this is only a problem when there's no kissee, like right now), the chewing on pens or gluesticks...
Ew: chewing of the cheeks and gluesticks. Ew, I haven't seen that done and I don't wanna. But I'd add to that list: chewing hair, nails and lip biting...
I don't chew my hair or my nails.
So you're saying you do all the rest? Wow.
I challenge that the BJ is the easy part... you would be surprised at how horrible many women are in that department... sure it may be on purpose... like how I never load the dish washer right, or how I always shrink her favorite sweeter... but still I have no supporting evidence that [bj's:] are the easy part.
This is not The Haters Club You're Looking For
Books mentioned in this topic
Falling Angel (other topics)Abandon (other topics)
In the Blood (other topics)
How about this... You get knocked up, on delivery day you get to spend 20 min with the spawn then it is taken to a state facility to be raised and educated in a neutral environment. video and snail mail correspondence should be maintained. When it turns 18 it is returned to you until it moves out on it's own.
I think this way would minimize parental actions damaging children.
Youth Camp! Youth Camp! GOOOOOOOOOO! YOUTH CAMP!