Ya Comedy Quotes

“Just as he reached for my neck, I tased him. I was there to bag and tag, not to kill. Besides, if I had to carry separate weapons for every paranormal I took out, I'd be dragging around a full luggage set. Tasers are a one-size-fits-all paranormal butt-kicking option. Mine's pink with rhinestones. Tasey and I have had a lot of good times together.”
― Kiersten White, Paranormalcy

“I gulped. But, I mean, everyone bends the truth sometimes to be friendly. What's really weird is that I'm the only one who seems to get in trouble for it. Anyway, what could possibly go wrong this time?”
― Sue Wyshynski, Poser

“When Dad was a kid, he wanted to be a lumberjack, but unfortunately he'd been cursed with the build of an accountant and the brain of an astrophysicist. These qualities had combined to make him the third-most-visited orthodontist in northern New Jersey.”
― Kieran Scott, Jingle Boy

“Between Thanksgiving and Christmas, I never leave the house without [my Santa hat]. In fact, I pretty much never leave my room without it. I honestly don't know how this habit started and believe me, I'd break myself of it if I could, but I'm a little bit OCD about the Santa hat. Whenever I try to put it away, I get this horrible, overwhelming feeling that somehow Christmas will be destroyed if I do.”
― Kieran Scott, Jingle Boy