Jackass Quotes

“And I will not be beaten by that jackass."

"Jackass?" said Foaly, wounded. "My favorite uncle is a jackass.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex

“How to Comfort Yourself When You Have Acted Like a Jackass
Everyone does this occasionally, and you shouldn't feel too upset about it unless it happens quite often, such as three times a day, in which case you must simply get used to it. Remember, other people like you as well or better for it, because it makes them feel so superior; so you've spread a little sunshine. And at the very least, you've served as a bad example.
”
― Peg Bracken, The I Hate to Housekeep Book

“You know it's when like you parents said "I'm not mad at you, just disappointed" You know that hurts so much more.”
― Stephen "Steve-O" Glover

“No, we are getting ahead of our story, and only an jackass would do that”
― Hunter S. Thompson

“Using porn to guide sexual activity, is like using Jackass to model behaviour.”
― Merlyn Gabriel Miller, Sex, Death, Drugs & Madness

“Anyone can be stupid. You are not special.”
― De philosopher DJ Kyos

“The difference is, Jimmy was her husband and he's dead, and you're alive and you're a jackass."

"That's real sweet, Daddy. Wish you'd saved it for my next birthday card.”
― Allie Ray, Children of Promise

“Do you think I have good character?”
“The best.”
Smiling, she ran her fingers down my cheek and tapped the cobra’s face. “I’m really loyal,” Lark said, focusing on the snake instead of me. “My mom said I get stuck in the mud a lot. If I like something, I just like it forever. I don’t change. I wasn’t just saying that the first night.”
Leaning down, I kissed her “And you like me?”
“I should play coy, right? I should make you work for it, but I can’t. I don’t want to lie, so I’ll just tell the truth. I like you more than I’ve liked any guy ever. I’m a little obsessed with you. Like if you dumped me, I would stalk you.”
My smile widened. “Your honesty is really hot.”
“Would you stalk me if I dumped you?”
“Of course not,” I said, pulling a blanket over us. “I wouldn’t need to because I’d kidnap you and keep you as my muse slave.”
“I’d escape. I’m wily like that.”
“I bet you would, but we’ll never have to find out.”
Lark and I stared at each other as if waiting for the other one to be brave enough to say it.
“You’re mine,” I whispered. “No one else.”
Lark gave a gentle smile like in the studio. “I love you too.”
Finally, it was out in the open. The words sounded perfect and natural.
“I loved you last weekend,” I admitted. “I should have said that, but I was a jackass.”
“I loved you on our first date. I would have mentioned it, but I’m a bigger jackass.”
Laughing, I leaned her back on the couch. “I want to celebrate the love between two jackasses.”
“No,” she said, squirming free. “I want to be on top. I like exploring.”
“And what you like, you’ll always like.”
Tugging off her tee, Lark grinned. “I’ll be an old woman and still enjoying my cobra. Oh, and the hot guy attached to it.”
― Bijou Hunter, Damaged and the Cobra

“…have you always been a jackass or is that something you’ve just recently acquired at the ‘I Want to be a Junior Jackass’ store? -Weasel to Army Lieutenant”
― Ray Palla, H: Infidels of Oil

“A jackass?” Parviz said as he raised an eyebrow. “Don’t insult them, son. Those animals are hardworking, perseverant, dedicated and committed.” Parviz continues, “Don’t think these guys were as honorable as donkeys.”
― Soroosh Shahrivar, Tajrish

“All my life, there had been a giant empty space, a huge existential void, that had needed to be filled by something, and I had never realized that that thing was the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile, with its sleek red hot dog battering ram surrounded by a metal bun. It was like the Space Battleship Yamato made of bread and pork, made of metal. This MIT student named Matt had been souping up the Wienermobile with a high-performance electric engine and all-terrain wheels, just saving it for the right occasion. Somehow, Janelle had convinced Matt that our little adventure was it. The tires were the perfect mud color to match the lower part of the chassis, which Matt had rescued from a scrap yard in Burlington.”
― Charlie Jane Anders, Rock Manning Goes for Broke