Housekeeping Quotes

Quotes tagged as "housekeeping" (showing 1-30 of 30)
Betty Friedan
“No woman gets an orgasm from shining the kitchen floor. ”
Betty Friedan

Dr. Seuss
“And this mess is so big
And so deep and so tall,
We cannot pick it up.
There is no way at all!”
Dr. Seuss, The Cat in the Hat

Betty Friedan
“Each suburban wife struggles with it alone. As she made the beds, shopped for groceries, matched slipcover material, ate peanut butter sandwiches with her children, chauffeured Cub Scouts and Brownies, lay beside her husband at night- she was afraid to ask even of herself the silent question-- 'Is this all?”
Betty Friedan, The Feminine Mystique

“A messy house is a must - it separates your true friends from other friends.
Real friends are there to visit you not your house!”
Jennifer Wilson

Phyllis Diller
“Cleaning your house while your kids are still growing is like shoveling the sidewalk before it stops snowing.”
Phyllis Diller

Erma Bombeck
“Housework can kill you if done right.”
Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck
“All of us have moments in out lives that test our courage. Taking children into a house with a white carpet is one of them. ”
Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck
“No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed. I have known mothers who remake the bed after their children do it because there is wrinkle in the spread or the blanket is on crooked. This is sick.”
Erma Bombeck

Erma Bombeck
“Cleanliness is not next to godliness. It isn't even in the same neighborhood. No one has ever gotten a religious experience out of removing burned-on cheese from the grill of the toaster oven.”
Erma Bombeck

Bette Midler
“My idea of superwoman is someone who scrubs her own floors.”
Bette Midler

Erma Bombeck
“Housework is a treadmill from futility to oblivion with stop-offs at tedium and counter productivity.”
Erma Bombeck

Joan Rivers
“I hate housework. You make the beds, you wash the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.”
Joan Rivers

Erma Bombeck
“There's something wrong with a mother who washes out a measuring cup with soap and water after she's only measured water in it.”
Erma Bombeck

Roseanne Barr
“Excuse the mess, but we live here.”
Roseanne Barr

Erma Bombeck
“I don't know why no one ever thought to paste a label on the toilet-tissue spindle giving 1-2-3 directions for replacing the tissue on it. Then everyone in the house would know what Mama knows.”
Erma Bombeck

Roseanne Barr
“I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on.”
Roseanne Barr

Shirley Conran
“I make no secret of the fact that I would rather lie on a sofa than sweep beneath it.”
Shirley Conran

Phyllis Diller
“I've buried a lot of my laundry in the back yard.”
Phyllis Diller

Ursula K. Le Guin
“I always wondered why the makers leave housekeeping and cooking out of their tales. Isn't it what all the great wars and battles are fought for -- so that at day's end a family may eat together in a peaceful house? The tale tells how the Lords of Manva hunted & gathered roots & cooked their suppers while they were camped in exile in the foothills of Sul, but it doesn't say what their wives & children were living on in their city left ruined & desolate by the enemy. They were finding food too, somehow, cleaning house & honoring the gods, the way we did in the siege & under the tyranny of the Alds. When the heroes came back from the mountain, they were welcomed with a feast. I'd like to know what the food was and how the women managed it.”
Ursula K. Le Guin, Voices

Wendy Wasserstein
“Sometimes I want to clean up my desk and go out and say, “Respect me; I’m a respectable grown-up!" and other times I just want to jump into a paper bag and shake and bake myself to death.”
Wendy Wasserstein

“A household has to be tended if it is to flourish and grow. Housework is never 'done' in the same sense that gardening is never done or that God's providential involvement in the world is never done. Housework and gardening and God's providence itself are exercises not in futility but in faithfulness - faithfulness to the work itself, to the people whose needs that work serves, and to the God whose own faithfulness invites our faithful response.”
Margaret Kim Peterson, Keeping House: The Litany of Everyday Life

Carolyn Wells
“And Your modest ambition is to be a good housekeeper, isn't it?"
"Well, yes, Papa; but not only that. I was thinking about it afterward by myself, and I think housekeeping is a the practical part of it - and that's a good big part too - but What I really want to be is a lovely, good, womanly woman, like Aunt Alice, you know.”
Carolyn Wells, Patty at Home

Elizabeth von Arnim
“Things were a little untidy, but what did that matter? It was possible to become the slave of things; possible to miss life in preparation for living.”
Elizabeth von Arnim

Emily Matchar
“It's not the nineteenth century; I'm not meant to be judged on how good a housekeeper I am. Getting down on the floor with a lemon and a bucket of vinegar does not make me a better person.”
Emily Matchar

George Eliot
“Rosamond, accustomed from her childhood to an extravagant household, thought that good housekeeping consisted simply in ordering the best of everything––nothing else 'answered;' and Lydgate supposed that 'if things were done at all, they must be done properly'–he did not see how they were to live otherwise. If each head of household expenditure had been mentioned to him beforehand, he would have probably observed that 'it could hardly come to much,' and if any one had suggested a saving on a particular article–for example, the substitution of cheap fish for dear–it would have appeared to him simply a penny-wise, mean notion.”
George Eliot, Middlemarch

Randall Jarrell
“She helped the hunter with the cooking as a husband helps his wife: when he had gone out to hunt and left something to stew, she would take the pot off the fire. But she never knew when to take it off; sometimes it was cooked to pieces, and she never got it right except by accident. But when the accident happened the hunter would laugh and say, "You're as good a cook as my mother!" After all, why should he want her to keep house? If you have a seal that could talk, would you want it to sweep the floor?”
Randall Jarrell, The Animal Family

Pope John XXIII
“You must know that it is by the state of the lavatory that a family is judged.”
Pope John XXIII

Marie Kondō
“We amass material things for the same reason that we eat - to satisfy a craving. Buying on impulse and eating and drinking to excess are attempts to alleviate stress. From observing my clients, I have noticed that when they discard excess clothing, their tummies tend to slim down, when they discard books and documents, their minds become clearer, when they reduce the number of cosmetics and tidy up the area around the sink and bath, their complexion tends to become clear and their skin smooth. -p226”
Marie Kondō, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing

Melanie Dobson
“Quickly she shredded the cabbage on the chopping block and tossed it along with the onion and tomatoes in a blue Pyrex bowl. Then she slid the lamb chops, encrusted with fresh rosemary, into the oven.
While the lamb baked, she brushed her hair in the washroom and pinned it back again. Then she zipped on a silk floral dress she'd purchased in Bristol and retrieved her grandmother's rhinestone necklace, one of the few family heirlooms her mother packed for her, to clasp around her neck.
At the foot of the bed was the antique trunk she'd brought from her childhood home in Balham more than a decade ago. Opening the trunk, she removed her wedding album along with her treasured copy of 'The Secret Garden' and the tubes of watercolors her father had sent with her and her brother. Her father hoped she would spend time painting on the coast, but Maggie hadn't inherited his talent or passion for art. Sometimes she wondered if Edmund would have become an artist.
Carefully she took out her newest treasures- pieces of crystal she and Walter hd received as wedding presents, protected by pages and pages of her husband's newspaper. She unwrapped the crystal and two silver candlesticks, then set them on the white-cloaked dining table. She arranged the candlesticks alongside a small silver bowl filled with mint jelly and a basket with sliced whole-meal bread from the bakery. After placing white, tapered candles into the candlesticks, she lit them and stepped back to admire her handiwork.
Satisfied, she blew them out. Once she heard Walter at the door, she'd quickly relight the candles.
When the timer chimed, she removed the lamb chops and turned off the oven, placing the pan on her stovetop and covering it with foil. She'd learned a lot about housekeeping in the past decade, and now she was determined to learn how to be the best wife to Walter. And a doting mother to their children.
If only she could avoid the whispers from her aunt's friends.”
Melanie Dobson, Shadows of Ladenbrooke Manor

George Sand
“But it’s different with a woman. Her work in the house is to keep not to get.”
George Sand, The Devil's Pool and Other Stories