Horror Comedy Quotes

“He opened the coffin next to his, just to reassure that it had been a nightmare, gasping.”
― Dawn DeBraal, Blood Pudding & Other Horrific Delicacies

“I swear he’s blushing underneath all that fur.”
― Martha Everitt, Blood Pudding & Other Horrific Delicacies

“My anger flares as I rise from my chair to my full five feet and one inches. I barely come up to Paul’s nipple. It’s a disturbing object against which to be measured, but I gladly take it over his smug face.”
― Martha Everitt, Blood Pudding & Other Horrific Delicacies

“Flan!” the people screamed as they fled in terror. “Flan!”
― Jim Horlock

“Son of Jaws: Final Flush by Stewart Stafford

The toilet monster is dead,
He’d been looking flushed,
A plunger sucked its face off,
I don’t miss it, I’m not pushed.

The innocent never had a clue,
Sat on the porcelain throne seat,
They'd kissed their backsides goodbye,
Derrières on rows of razor teeth.

A call of nature, but none returned,
After closing the bathroom locks,
Shoes and knickers found later,
Twisted around frantic socks.

The awful beast left the building,
No critiques of the notorious dead,
But words can't describe the relief,
When I sit down now to use the head.

© 2025, Stewart Stafford. All rights reserved.”
― Stewart Stafford