Douching Quotes

“What every girl should know: Your vagina is disgusting. It smells like the underside of a kangaroo pouch and he doesn't want to touch you because of the grossness. But thankfully, NEW brand douche, perfected by a leading gynecologist, gently cleanses and refreshes, making you feel feminine and special. Because what's more special than a vage filled with vinegar and chemical daisies? Also available in SPICY CINNAMON TACO, for the girl adventurer.”
― Kelly Sue DeConnick, Bitch Planet, Vol. 1: Extraordinary Machine

“Hitting your puppy does nothing to help potty-train her, but what it will do is make her afraid of you. Bailey doesn’t know where she’s supposed to potty at this age, so it’s up to you to help her learn. Believe it or not, accidents in the house are people problems, not puppy problems.”
“Told you,” Allison said under her breath, looking down at her hands.
“Huh. So, no smacks?”
Morgan shook her head vigorously. “No smacks, ever, for any reason.”
Jared frowned. “Everybody’s a snowflake these days, I guess.” He leaned over in front of his puppy on the exam table. “Want to talk about your feelings, Bailey? Will that keep you from shitting in the house?”
Allison laughed nervously. “Jared, stop.”
“I know some excellent puppy trainers I can refer you to,” Morgan said, looking at Allison. “They can help you with potty-training.” She glanced at Jared. “Manners too.”
― Victoria Schade, Dog Friendly