Deadpan Quotes

“Russ decided the best defense was a good offense. "I'm Russell Van Alstyne, Millers Kill chief of police." He held out his hand. She shook firm, like a guy.

"Clare Fergusson," she said. "I'm the new priest at Saint Alban's. That's the Episcopal Church. At the corner of Elm and Church." There was a faint testiness in her voice. Russ relaxed a fraction. A woman priest. If that didn't beat all.

"I know which it is. There are only four churches in town." He saw the fog creeping along the edges of his glasses again and snatched them off, fishing for a tissue in his pocket. "Can you tell me what happened, um..." What was he supposed to call her? "Mother?"

"I go by Reverend, Chief. Ms. is fine, too."

"Oh. Sorry. I never met a woman priest before."

"We're just like the men priests, except we're willing to pull over and ask directions.”
― Julia Spencer-Fleming, In the Bleak Midwinter

“Octave staggered to his feet, his stick swinging back to point toward Nicholas. He felt a wave of heat and saw spellfire crackle along the length of polished wood, preparing itself for another explosive burst. Crack was moving toward Octave, but Madeline shouted, "Get back!"

Nicholas ducked, as a shot exploded behind him. Octave fell backward on the carpet and the blue lightning flared once and vanished with a sharp crackle.

Nicholas looked at Madeline. She stepped forward, holding a small double-action revolver carefully and frowning down at the corpse. He said, "I wondered what you were waiting for."

"You were in my line of fire, dear," she said, preoccupied. "But look.”
― Martha Wells, The Death of the Necromancer

“If you can swing it, getting arrested is the high point of the Fourth of July. Also, the reading of the Declaration of Independence is exciting. (Yes, the Declaration was written two years after Essex is officially set. No, this doesn't stop us.) […] Essex stayed open late that night, for the holiday. Our patriotism cannot be constrained by an eight-hour workday.”
― Leila Sales, Past Perfect

“As I said, you begged.”

“Let’s say I did, which is by no means true, by the way. You just said yes?”

“I’ve always had a soft spot for begging.”
― Rina Kent, God of War

“The vampire blood running around in their systems isn't natural, so whenever Henry or Grace get a cut, no matter how minor, their bodies can't produce more blood. It's up to Madeline to come replenish it from her own supply, another process that I'm told is (ha-ha) draining.”
― M.L. Brennan, Generation V

“Can you tell me what happened, um...” What was he supposed to call her? “Mother?”

“I go by Reverend, Chief. Ms. is fine, too.”

“Oh. Sorry. I never met a woman priest before.”

“We’re just like the men priests, except we’re willing to pull over and ask directions.”
― Julia Spencer-Fleming, In the Bleak Midwinter

“He was obviously very amazed. I then told him that I'm actually Su Mucheng." Su Mucheng said.
"And he believed you?' Ye Xiu asked.
"Of course not. I then gave him a cellphone number and told him to call it if he didn't believe me." Su Mucheng said.
"You gave him your cellphone number?"
"Huang Shaotian's. He likes to talk, no? So I had to give him this opportunity." Su Mucheng said.
"Hey..." Ye Xiu began to sweat. It was a private number. In particular, for a God like Huang Shaotian, randomly giving out his number wasn't good.
"I'm just kidding! I just video chatted with him for him for a bit and that was enough." Su Mucheng said”
― Blue Butterfly, The King's Avatar

“Don't you think they could be interested in progress?"

"They've seen some of it. There's only one aspect of progress that really excites them."

"What's that?"

"The electric guitar.”
― Kurt Vonnegut Jr., Cat's Cradle