Concierge Service Quotes

“Being an asshole to us just makes you look like an asshole.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“All the world is a stage, concierges are but actors in it.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“Condoms are not like a glove; one size does not fit all. Bring your own.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“By the way, it was me. I farted. You're welcome. Get used to it. I'll do it again before you check out.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“New Orleans restaurants are so good, you'll want to slap your momma, you neighbor's momma, and your neighbor's momma's momma.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“I have no clue what she asked for. It sounded like a code during wartime, where coffee was the solider and she was the five-star general.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“It's my job to help the guests, even if I think they'll turn out to be a super-snotty, dripping little twat of distaste and ill repute.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“I'm impressed. I've never seen a piece of shit read before. Would you like an award?”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“I speak New Orleans sassy black woman dialect. I love it.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“We, as a society, will never grow into a better world unless we change our outdated views of the world. We should not adopt and carry forward the way people have been mistreated in the past, but instead pave a way to love and acceptance, or the future generation will fail.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“Lady Beverly: What kind of bullshit answer is that, kiddo? I was born and raised here. I may be older that dirt now, but I was a street rat back in my day.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“Everyone knows you drink white wine with ass. I'm joking; don't drink any wine with ass. It doesn't pair well.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“I don't want your hanging meat parasailing toward me. Please, double bubble-wrap it, and put it in storage already.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“My safe word is pineapple.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“Frank: Dude. Bro. I'm not wearing underwear. Is it nippley outside?”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge

“Many people have asked me, "Why title your book Creating a Concierge?" There is no correct answer. Call it creation, evolution, or chance, but ultimately it's what felt right.”
― Ren French, Creating a Concierge