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#1

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148577 likes

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#2

“Here's to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They're not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can't do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Steve Jobs

68233 likes

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#3

“As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once.”
― John Green, The Fault in Our Stars

tags: love

47051 likes

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#4

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan

tags: inspirational, optimism, perception, pessimism

46572 likes

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#5

“I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living.”
― Dr. Seuss

tags: fantasy

36858 likes

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#6

“Though my soul may set in darkness, it will rise in perfect light;
I have loved the stars too fondly to be fearful of the night.”
― Sarah Williams, Twilight Hours: A Legacy of Verse

tags: poetry, science, stars

3429 likes

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#7

“God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch

tags: einstein, gaiman, god, humor

2652 likes

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#8

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor

151849 likes

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#9

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

tags: humor, life

119244 likes

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#10

“The person, be it gentleman or lady, who has not pleasure in a good novel, must be intolerably stupid.”
― Jane Austen, Northanger Abbey

tags: aliteracy, books, classic, humor

51666 likes

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#11

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30274 likes

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#12

“Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
― Robert A. Heinlein

tags: cats, humor, women

28818 likes

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#13

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

26435 likes

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#14

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
― John Green

tags: humor, nerdfighters

21601 likes

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#15

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor, scifi

23473 likes

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#16

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

tags: humor

22525 likes

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#17

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

tags: humor, open-mind, thinking

21443 likes

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#18

“Reality continues to ruin my life.”
― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes

tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life

21209 likes

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#19

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
― Benjamin Franklin Wade

tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology

19866 likes

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#20

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

18673 likes

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#21

“It’s no use going back to yesterday, because I was a different person then.”
― Lewis Carroll

tags: alice, humor, inspirational, philosophy-of-life, psychological, yesterday

17436 likes

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#22

“Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
"Yes," said Harry stiffly.
"Yes, sir."
"There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm

15177 likes

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#23

“Margo always loved mysteries. And in everything that came afterward, I could never stop thinking that maybe she loved mysteries so much that she became one.”
― John Green, Paper Towns

tags: fiction, mystery, nerdfighters, ya, young-adult

1900 likes

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#24

“Fate is like a strange, unpopular restaurant filled with odd little waiters who bring you things you never asked for and don't always like.”
― Lemony Snicket

tags: fate, humor, simile

13151 likes

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#25

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12946 likes

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#26

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

tags: god, humor, life

11624 likes

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#27

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
― Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

9901 likes

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#28

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

tags: humor, politics

9110 likes

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#29

“I do not want people to be very agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them a great deal.”
― Jane Austen, Jane Austen's Letters

tags: friends, humor, people

8996 likes

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#30

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

tags: funny, humanity, humor

8872 likes

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Tags From JB’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
love
inspirational
optimism
perception
pessimism
fantasy
poetry
stars
einstein
gaiman
god
books
life
aliteracy
classic
religion
cats
women
nerdfighters
scifi
open-mind
thinking
calvin-and-hobbes
misattributed-mark-twain
theology
alice
philosophy-of-life
psychological
yesterday
rebellion
sarcasm
fiction
mystery
ya
young-adult
fate
simile
proverb
genius
insanity
politics
friends
people
funny
humanity