Izzy > Izzy's Quotes

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#1

“It is the unknown we fear when we look upon death and darkness, nothing more.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince

tags: fear-unknown

8474 likes

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#2

“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”
― H.N. Turteltaub, The Sacred Land

tags: misattributed-cassandra-clare, misattributed-jace

10652 likes

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#3

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

tags: humor

9781 likes

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#4

“You know the world is going crazy when the best rapper is a white guy, the best golfer is a black guy, the tallest guy in the NBA is Chinese, the Swiss hold the America's Cup, France is accusing the U.S. of arrogance, Germany doesn't want to go to war, and the three most powerful men in America are named "Bush", "Dick", and "Colin." Need I say more?”
― Chris Rock

9411 likes

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#5

“Once you can accept the universe as matter expanding into nothing that is something, wearing stripes with plaid comes easy.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: funny

5182 likes

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#6

“I figured all your classes were stuff like Slaughter 101 and Beheading for Beginners."
Jace flipped a page. "Very funny, Fray.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: city-of-bones, clary-fray, jace-wayland

2311 likes

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#7

“I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: funny, humor

3155 likes

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#8

“Don’t put your wand there, boy!” roared Moody. “What if it ignited? Better wizards than you have lost buttocks, you know!” “Who d’you know who’s lost a buttock?” the violet-haired woman asked Mad-Eye interestedly. “Never you mind, you just keep your wand out of your back pocket!” growled Mad-Eye. “Elementary wand safety, nobody bothers about it anymore . . .” He stumped off toward the kitchen. “And I saw that,” he added irritably, as the woman rolled her eyes at the ceiling.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

tags: funny, wizards

2039 likes

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#9

“Do you ever think if people heard our conversations they'd lock us up?"
All the time.”
― Wendy Mass, Jeremy Fink and the Meaning of Life

tags: flotsam, funny, humor, jeremy-fink, jetsam, keys, lizzy, wendy-mass, what-i-always-think

2113 likes

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#10

“It's funny how humans can wrap their mind around things and fit them into their version of reality.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: humanity, humans, mankind, reality

3819 likes

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#11

“aren't you, uh... reproducing?

"sure, we love reproducing it's one of our favorite things.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: city-of-bones, funny

1719 likes

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#12

“Can I come in?
No! I'm in a towel!
I'm blind!”
― James Patterson

tags: funny, iggy, max, maximum-ride

1492 likes

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#13

“Is this Clarissa Fray?" The voice on the other end of the phone sounded familiar, though not immediately identifiable.
Clary twirled the phone cord nervously around her finger. "Yeees?"
"Hi, I'm one of the knife-carrying hooligans you met last night in Pandemonium? I"m afraid I made a bad impression and was hoping you'd give me a chance to make it up to-"
"SIMON!" Clary held the phone away from her ear as he cracked up laughing. "That is so not funny!"
"Sure it is. You just don't see the humor."
"Jerk." Clary sighed, leaning up against the wall.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

1584 likes

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#14

“[My mom's] funny that way, celebrating special occasions with blue food. I think it's her way of saying anything is possible. Percy can pass seventh grade. Waffles can be blue. Little miracles like that.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

tags: humor

1613 likes

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#15

“Other crack teams get bat boomerangs and wall-climbing powers; we get Aquatruck.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: bat, funny, team, truck

908 likes

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#16

“Can you surf really well, then?"
I looked at Grover, who was trying hard not to laugh.
"Jeez, Nico," I said. "I've never really tried."
He went on asking questions. Did I fight a lot with Thalia, since she was a daughter of Zeus? (I didn't answer that one.) If Annabeth's mother was Athena, the goddess of wisdom, then why didn't Annabeth know better than to fall off a cliff? (I tried not to strangle Nico for asking that one.) Was Annabeth my girlfriend? (At this point, I was ready to stick the kid in a meat-flavored sack and throw him to the wolves.)”
― Rick Riordan

tags: annabeth-chase, athena, funny, humor, myth, mythology, olympians, percy-jackson, posiedon, the-lightning-thief, zeus

2758 likes

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#17

“But Dumbledore says he doesn't care what they do as long as they don't take him off the Chocolate Frog cards.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix

tags: celebrity, dumbledore, fame, funny

2318 likes

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#18

“Malfoy glanced around. Harry knew he was checking for signs of teachers. Then he looked back at Harry and said in a low voice, "You're dead, Potter."
Harry raised his eyebrows. "Funny," he said, "you'd think I'd have stopped walking around...”
― J.K. Rowling

1023 likes

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#19

“She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: funny, humor

1093 likes

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#20

“Instead of worrying about what you cannot control, shift your energy to what you can create.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

tags: creation, creative, inspiration, inspirational, inspirational-attitude, inspirational-life, inspirational-quotes, inspire, inspiring, life, life-and-living, life-lessons, life-quotes, living, optimism, optimistic, positive, positive-affirmation, positive-life, positive-thinking, worry

8728 likes

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#21

“Take responsibility of your own happiness, never put it in other people’s hands.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

tags: happiness, inspirational, responsibility

7381 likes

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#22

“Respect other people's feelings. It might mean nothing to you, but it could mean everything to them.”
― Roy T. Bennett

tags: feelings, inspiration, inspirational-quotes

7161 likes

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#23

“Be mindful. Be grateful. Be positive. Be true. Be kind.”
― Roy T. Bennett, The Light in the Heart

tags: gratitude, inspiration, inspirational, inspirational-quotes, kindness, life, life-and-living, life-quotes, living-life, mindful, mindfulness, optimism, optimistic, positive, positive-affirmation, positive-life, positive-thinking, truth

7267 likes

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fear-unknown
misattributed-cassandra-clare
misattributed-jace
humor
funny
city-of-bones
clary-fray
jace-wayland
wizards
flotsam
jeremy-fink
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keys
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what-i-always-think
humanity
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reality
iggy
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bat
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posiedon
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