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Alytha > Alytha's Quotes

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  • #1
    Neil Gaiman
    “Only the phoenix rises and does not descend. And everything changes. And nothing is truly lost.”
    ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 10: The Wake
    741 likes

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  • #2
    Terry Pratchett
    “In ancient times cats were worshipped as gods; they have not forgotten this.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    4293 likes

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  • #3
    Terry Pratchett
    “Five exclamation marks, the sure sign of an insane mind.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Reaper Man
    tags: books, humor
    2613 likes

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  • #4
    Terry Pratchett
    “Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather
    2176 likes

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  • #5
    Terry Pratchett
    “God does not play dice with the universe; He plays an ineffable game of His own devising, which might be compared, from the perspective of any of the other players [i.e. everybody], to being involved in an obscure and complex variant of poker in a pitch-dark room, with blank cards, for infinite stakes, with a Dealer who won't tell you the rules, and who smiles all the time.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Good Omens: The Nice and Accurate Prophecies of Agnes Nutter, Witch
    tags: einstein, gaiman, god, humor
    2651 likes

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  • #6
    Terry Pratchett
    “A good bookshop is just a genteel Black Hole that knows how to read.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Guards! Guards!
    tags: bookshop, bookstore, discworld, read, reading
    1495 likes

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  • #7
    Terry Pratchett
    “I'd rather be a rising ape than a falling angel.”
    ― Terry Pratchett
    1274 likes

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  • #8
    Terry Pratchett
    “Just erotic. Nothing kinky. It's the difference between using a feather and using a chicken.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Eric
    tags: erotic, kinky, suggestive
    1506 likes

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  • #9
    Neil Gaiman
    “I've been making a list of the things they don't teach you at school. They don't teach you how to love somebody. They don't teach you how to be famous. They don't teach you how to be rich or how to be poor. They don't teach you how to walk away from someone you don't love any longer. They don't teach you how to know what's going on in someone else's mind. They don't teach you what to say to someone who's dying. They don't teach you anything worth knowing.”
    ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
    tags: dying, facts, fame, knowing, love, poverty, reality, school, teach, wealth
    18631 likes

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  • #10
    Neil Gaiman
    “Things need not have happened to be true. Tales and dreams are the shadow-truths that will endure when mere facts are dust and ashes, and forgot.”
    ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 3: Dream Country
    2863 likes

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  • #11
    Neil Gaiman
    “To absent friends, lost loves, old gods, and the season of mists; and may each and every one of us always give the devil his due.”
    ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 4: Season of Mists
    tags: toasts
    908 likes

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  • #12
    Jean-Paul Sartre
    “Hell is—other people!”
    ― Jean-Paul Sartre, No Exit
    tags: garcin, hell, people
    2346 likes

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  • #13
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148767 likes

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  • #14
    Laurence J. Peter
    “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
    ― Laurence J. Peter
    tags: misattributed-einstein
    8422 likes

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  • #15
    George Carlin
    “Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
    ― George Carlin
    1957 likes

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  • #16
    “I'll take crazy over stupid any day.”
    ― Joss Whedon
    tags: insanity, stupidity
    1815 likes

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  • #17
    Oscar Wilde
    “Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    177929 likes

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  • #18
    Oscar Wilde
    “Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy
    81996 likes

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  • #19
    Oscar Wilde
    “We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan
    tags: inspirational, optimism, perception, pessimism
    46606 likes

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  • #20
    Oscar Wilde
    “It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.”
    ― Oscar Wilde
    tags: books, reading
    21558 likes

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  • #21
    Oscar Wilde
    “I can resist anything except temptation.”
    ― Oscar Wilde, Lady Windermere's Fan
    tags: temptation
    4274 likes

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  • #22
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32166 likes

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  • #23
    Neil Gaiman
    “Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.”
    ― Neil Gaiman, The Sandman, Vol. 9: The Kindly Ones
    tags: love
    36874 likes

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  • #24
    “There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
    ― Linda Grayson
    tags: chocolate, friendship
    16482 likes

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  • #25
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    “I wish it need not have happened in my time," said Frodo.
    "So do I," said Gandalf, "and so do all who live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given us.”
    ― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring
    tags: adventuring, death, time
    21815 likes

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  • #26
    Douglas Adams
    “There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

    There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor
    7880 likes

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  • #27
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
    ― Kurt Vonnegut
    tags: humour, telekinetics
    10128 likes

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  • #28
    Neil Gaiman
    “I believe that mankind's destiny lies in the stars. I believe that candy really did taste better when I was a kid, that it's aerodynamically impossible for a bumble bee to fly, that light is a wave and a particle, that there's a cat in a box somewhere who's alive and dead at the same time (although if they don't ever open the box to feed it it'll eventually just be two different kinds of dead), and that there are stars in the universe billions of years older than the universe itself.”
    ― Neil Gaiman
    tags: belief
    9136 likes

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  • #29
    J.R.R. Tolkien
    “Never laugh at live dragons.”
    ― J.R.R. Tolkien
    tags: dragons, wisdom
    8737 likes

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  • #30
    Neil Gaiman
    “Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.”
    ― Neil Gaiman
    6446 likes



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humor
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