Charissa > Charissa's Quotes

“One day you will kiss a man you can't breathe without, and find that breath is of little consequence.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Bloodfever

“I love books, by the way, way more than movies. Movies tell you what to think. A good book lets you choose a few thoughts for yourself. Movies show you the pink house. A good book tells you there's a pink house and lets you paint some of the finishing touches, maybe choose the roof style,park your own car out front. My imagination has always topped anything a movie could come up with. Case in point, those darned Harry Potter movies. That was so not what that part-Veela-chick, Fleur Delacour, looked like.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Darkfever

“Procrastinating is number one of my Stupid List. You still end up exactly where you didn't want to be, doing exactly what you didn't want to do, with the only difference being you lost all that time in between, during which you could have been doing something fun. Even worse, you probably stayed in a stressed-out, scrappy mood the whole time you were avoiding it.”
― Karen Marie Moning, Iced

“My fore-parts, as you so ineloquently put it, have names.”

I pointed to my right breast. “This is Danger.” Then my left. “And this is Will Robinson. I would appreciate it if you addressed them accordingly.”

After a long pause in which he took the time to blink several times, he asked, “You named your breasts?”

I turned my back to him with a shrug. “I named my ovaries, too, but they don’t get out as much.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I stop fighting my inner demons. We're on the same side now. T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“I have three words for you," EMT Guy said. "Possible internal bleeding."

I turned back to him. "Don't you think if I was bleeding internally, I'd know somewhere deep inside? Like, internally?”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I'd have a longer attention span if there weren't so many shiny things.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“You know you have ADD when Look A chicken - T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“NEVER BE AFRAID TO DART AROUND IN PUBLIC, HUMMING THE MISSION: IMPOSSIBLE THEME SONG. —T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“If life hands you lemons,keep them. Because, hey, free lemons.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Doing nothing is hard. You never know when you're done.--T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Fourth Grave Beneath My Feet

“I know karate, and like two other Japanese words - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“An integral part of any best friend's job is to immediately clear your computer history if you die.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger. - T-SHIRT”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Chocolate and coffee ? Together ? Whoever came up with that combination should have won a Nobel Peace Prize. Or at least a subscription to Reader's Digest.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“I chose the road less traveled. Now I'm lost.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“At first, I could lie about my lack of sleep and she'd fall for it, but she started suspecting insomnia when I began seeing purple elephants in the air vents at the office. I knew I shouldn't have asked her about them. I thought maybe she'd redecorated.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“Yeah, but what happens if life hands me pickles? - Bumper sticker”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“There comes a moment when you know you just aren't going to do anything esle productive for the rest of the day.-T-Shirt”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“When fighting clowns, always go for the juggler.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“How would you like your eggs?"

I tried. I really did. But I glanced at his crotch and it came out anyway. "Fertilized?”
― Darynda Jones, Fifth Grave Past the Light

“There is nothing to fear but fear itself. And spiders. ~Bumper sticker~”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“He said you sparkle like a newborn galaxy and have more attitude than a rich kid with his daddy's Porsche.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Oh, my god!" I said, throwing my hands over my eyes and hurtling my body against the counter.
"What?"
"You're naked."
"I'm not naked."
"I'm blind."
"You're not blind. I'm wearing pants."
"Oh." That was embarrassing.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“No. This has to do with drugs."
My jaw fell open and I almost lost my toothbrush. "You're on drugs?"
She pressed her mouth together. "No. You are."
"I'm on drugs?" I asked, stunned. I had no idea.”
― Darynda Jones, Third Grave Dead Ahead

“I do not," I felt oddly appalled by her statement. "I'm an excellent liar. Ask my dentist. He swears I floss regularly.”
― Darynda Jones, Second Grave on the Left

“Oh, I forgot to tell you," Cookie said. "Amber wants your dad to get a teriyaki machine so she can sing for all the lonely barflies."

"I'm a good singer, mom."

Only a twelve-year-old could make the word mom sound blasphemous.

I leaned into Cookie, "Does she know its not called--?"

"No," she whispered.

"Are you gonna tell her?"


"No. It's much funnier this way.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Never knock on death's door. Ring the doorbell then run. He totally hates that.
- T-shirt”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“Genius has its limitations.
Insanity...not so much" -Bumper Sticker”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right

“I may not look like much, but I'm an expert at pretending to be a ninja.”
― Darynda Jones, First Grave on the Right