Candace > Candace's Quotes

“Take no heed of her.... She reads a lot of books.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

“I have always held the old-fashioned opinion that the primary object of work of fiction should be to tell a story.”
― Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

“There is no reason why good cannot triumph as often as evil. The triumph of anything is a matter of organization. If there are such things as angels, I hope that they are organized along the lines of the Mafia.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”
― George Bernard Shaw

“Owen meany who rarely wasted words and who had the conversation-stopping habit of dropping remarks like coins into a deep pool of water... remarks that sank, like truth, to the bottom of the pool where they would remain untouchable.”
― John Irving, A Prayer for Owen Meany

“Some families ran their own little version of the Middle East.”
― Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All

“Governments and fashions come and go but Jane Eyre is for all time.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

“The greatest obstacle to pleasure is not pain; it is delusion.”
― Stephen Greenblatt, The Swerve: How the World Became Modern

“Leadership is for those who love the public good and are endowed and trained to administer it.”
― Thornton Wilder, The Ides of March

“No sensible man ever engages, unprepared, in a fencing match of words with a woman.”
― Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

“The industrial age had only just begun; the planet had reached its Best Before date.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Eyre Affair

“There, there, there.”
― Lawrence Sanders, The Third Deadly Sin

“It was a bright, defrosted, pussy-willow day at the onset of spring, and the newlyweds were driving cross-country in a large roast turkey.”
― Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All

“Dip a slice of bread in batter. That's September: yellow, gold, soft and sticky. Fry the bread. Now you have October: chewier, drier, streaked with browns. The day in question fell somewhere in the middle of the french toast process.”
― Tom Robbins, Skinny Legs and All

“It is written.”
― Jasper Fforde

“She wasn't the only one to be physically morphed by reader expectation. Miss Havisham was now elderly whether she liked it or not, and Sherlock Holmes wore a deerstalker and smoked a ridiculously large pipe. The problem wasn't just confined to the classics. Harry Potter was seriously pissed off that he'd have to spend the rest of life looking like Daniel Radcliffe.”
― Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

“Yes, and imagine a world where there were no hypothetical situations.”
― Jasper Fforde, First Among Sequels

“Do I have to talk to insane people?"
"You're a librarian now. I'm afraid it's mandatory.”
― Jasper Fforde, The Woman Who Died a Lot

“Ill-fitting grammar are like ill-fitting shoes. You can get used to it for a bit, but then one day your toes fall off and you can't walk to the bathroom.”
― Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

“[from the television show,"Evade the Question Time"]

At the end of the first round, I will award three points to Mr. Kaine for an excellent nonspecific condemnation, plus one bonus point for blaming the previous government and another for successfully mutating the question to promote the party line. Mr. van de Poste gets a point for a firm rebuttal, but only two points for his condemnation, as he tried to inject an impartial and intelligent observation.”
― Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten

“If you even *need* a government, added Stig, "you are a life-form flawed beyond redemption.”
― Jasper Fforde, Something Rotten

“the Real-World was a sprawling mess of a book in need of a good editor.”
― Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

“...the landscape inside Lord of the Rings was so stunning and so stupendous that it could be absorbed as a form of nourishment.”
― Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

“Don't move," said Sprockett."Mimes don't generally attack unless they are threatened.”
― Jasper Fforde, One of Our Thursdays Is Missing

“Some of us rush through life and some of us saunter through life. Mrs. Vesey sat through life.”
― Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

“I am thinking,’ he remarked quietly, ’whether I shall add to the disorder in this room, by scattering your brains about the fireplace.”
― Wilkie Collins, The Woman in White

“The big trouble with dumb bastards is that they are too dumb to believe there is such a thing as being smart.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

“The Earthlings behaved at all times as though there were a big eye in the sky—as though that big eye were ravenous for entertainment.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, The Sirens of Titan

“I wondered if that was how forgiveness budded; not with the fanfare of epiphany, but with pain gathering its things, packing up, and slipping away unannounced in the middle of the night.”
― Khaled Hosseini, The Kite Runner

“Never forget, Caelius, that a great man makes his luck. Luck is there for everyone to seize. Most of us miss our chances; we're blind to our luck. He never misses a chance because he's never blind to the opportunity of the moment.”
― Colleen McCullough, Caesar