Will Conley > Will's Quotes

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  • #1
    Isaac Asimov
    “Intelligence is an accident of evolution, and not necessarily an advantage.”
    ― Isaac Asimov
    tags: intelligence
    376 likes

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  • #2
    Oscar Wilde
    “With freedom, flowers, books, and the moon, who could not be perfectly happy?”
    ― Oscar Wilde, De Profundis
    6046 likes

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  • #3
    Ambrose Bierce
    “The covers of this book are too far apart.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: attributed-no-source, books, criticism, humor, wit
    1598 likes

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  • #4
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    1659 likes

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  • #5
    Ambrose Bierce
    “In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: humor, intelligence, politics
    141 likes

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  • #6
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Selfish, adj. Devoid of consideration for the selfishness of others.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: definition, humor
    270 likes

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  • #7
    Ambrose Bierce
    “All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Collected Writings Of Ambrose Bierce
    tags: delusion, humor, lunatics, philosopher
    312 likes

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  • #8
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Hash, x. There is no definition for this word - nobody knows what hash is.
    Famous, adj. Conspicuously miserable.
    Dictionary, n. A malevolent literary device for cramping the growth of a language and making it hard and inelastic. This dictionary, however, is a most useful work.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: definition, humor, inspiration
    95 likes

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  • #9
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Redemption, n. Deliverance of sinners from the penalty of their sin through their murder of the deity against whom they sinned. The doctrine of Redemption is the fundamental mystery of our holy religions, and whoso believeth in it shall not perish, but have everlasting life in which to try to understand it.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: deity, deliverance, doctrine, eternity, holy-religions, humor, murder, mystery, penalty, redemption, sin, sinners, understanding
    165 likes

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  • #10
    “Democracy is not freedom. Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what to eat for lunch. Freedom comes from the recognition of certain rights which may not be taken, not even by a 99% vote.”
    ― Marvin Simkin
    tags: democracy, freedom, paraphrase-gary-strand, rights, vote
    160 likes

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  • #11
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Mayonnaise: One of the sauces which serve the French in place of a state religion.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: food, religion
    58 likes

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  • #12
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Corporation, n. An ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: definition
    169 likes

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  • #13
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Education, n. That which discloses to the wise and disguises from the foolish their lack of understanding.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
    tags: education
    168 likes

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  • #14
    Ambrose Bierce
    “HOMICIDE, n. The slaying of one human being by another. There are
    four kinds of homicide: felonious, excusable, justifiable, and
    praiseworthy, but it makes no great difference to the person slain
    whether he fell by one kind or another -- the classification is for
    advantage of the lawyers.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: funny, homicide, humor
    122 likes

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  • #15
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Quotation, n: The act of repeating erroneously the words of another.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: definitions, humor, quotations, quotes, satire
    1228 likes

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  • #16
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Ocean, n. A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man — who has no gills.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: definition, humor, ocean, water
    234 likes

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  • #17
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Conservative, n: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the Liberal who wishes to replace them with others.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    88 likes

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  • #18
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Bore, n.: A person who talks when you wish him to listen.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: definitions
    154 likes

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  • #19
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum -- "I think that I think, therefore I think that I am;" as close an approach to certainty as any philosopher has yet made.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    131 likes

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  • #20
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Dawn: When men of reason go to bed.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    66 likes

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  • #21
    Ambrose Bierce
    “FIDELITY, n. A virtue peculiar to those who are about to be betrayed.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: definition
    89 likes

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  • #22
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: egotism, humor, sarcasm, taste
    367 likes

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  • #23
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Brain: an apparatus with which we think we think.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    77 likes

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  • #24
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Positive, adj.: Mistaken at the top of one's voice.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary
    tags: assertions, certainty, errors, humor, mistakes, positive, satire, self-assurance
    125 likes

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  • #25
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Admiration, n.: Our polite recognition of another's resemblance to ourselves.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    66 likes

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  • #26
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Lawyer – One skilled in the circumvention of the law.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    67 likes

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  • #27
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Philosophy - A route of many roads leading from nowhere to nothing.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
    70 likes

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  • #28
    Ambrose Bierce
    “VOTE, n. The instrument and symbol of a freeman's power to make a fool of himself and a wreck of his country.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce
    tags: humor
    76 likes

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  • #29
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Christian - One who follows the teachings of Christ insofar as they are not inconsistent with a life of sin.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary and Other Works
    38 likes

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  • #30
    Ambrose Bierce
    “Impiety, n. Your irreverence toward my deity.”
    ― Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
    52 likes



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