Emma > Emma's Quotes

“If you want to know what a man's like, take a good look at how he treats his inferiors, not his equals.”
― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire

“If I win, I'm a prodigy. If I lose, then I'm crazy. That's the way history is written.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“If you were me, then I'd be you, and if I were you, then I'd hide somewhere far away.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“I don't like lollipops.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“Let us proceed under the assumption that the fairy folk do exist, and that I am not a gibbering moron.”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident

“If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Lost Colony

“No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."
Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."
But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."
I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"
Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“Jon Spiro had not hired Pex and Chips for their debating sills. In the job interview, they had only been set one task. A hundred applicants were handed a walnut and asked to smash it however they could. Only two succeeded. Pex had shouted at the walnut for a few minutes, then flattened it between his giant palms. Chips had opted for a more controversial method. He placed the walnut on the table, grabbed is interviewer by the ponytail, and used the man's forehead to smash the nut. Both men were hired on the spot. They quickly established themselves as Arno Blunt's most reliable leiutenants for in-house work. They were not allowed outside Chicago, as this could involve map reading, something Pex and Chips were not very good at.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code

“(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!”
― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl

“The next minute or so was spent howling on the ceiling . Imp No.1 joined in, but he wasn't really feeling it. It shouldn't be "Who do we hate?", he thought, it really should be "whom", but this probably wasn't a good time to bring that up. ”
― Eoin Colfer

“The miracle of modern science. The LEP pours millions into your department, Foaly, and all you can do is send Mud Boys to the toilet.”
― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code