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#1

“There's something strange about this big pink bunny...”
― Lauren Myracle, l8r, g8r

58 likes

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#2

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: attributed-no-source, be-yourself, gilbert-perreira, honesty, inspirational, misattributed-oscar-wilde, quote-investigator

177019 likes

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#3

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

tags: books, humor

151349 likes

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#4

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy

81809 likes

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#5

“Without music, life would be a mistake.”
― Friedrich Nietzsche, Twilight of the Idols

tags: inspirational, music, philosophy

74329 likes

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#6

“If you were half as funny as you think you are, you'd be twice as funny as you really are.”
― H.N. Turteltaub, The Sacred Land

tags: misattributed-cassandra-clare, misattributed-jace

10654 likes

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#7

“When life gives you lemons, squirt someone in the eye.”
― Cathy Guiswite

tags: eyes, funny, lemons

5195 likes

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#8

“Damn, Claire. Warn a guy before you do a face-plant on the floor next time. I could have looked all heroic and caught you or something -Shane”
― Rachel Caine, Glass Houses

tags: funny, morganvillevampires

2413 likes

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#9

“I thought I'd lie on the floor and writhe in pain for a while," he grunted, "It relaxes me."
"It does? Oh - you're being sarcastic. That's a good sign probably.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: funny, humor

3156 likes

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#10

“A child of five could understand this. Send someone to fetch a child of five.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: funny, simplicity

680 likes

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#11

“I can't believe he didn't have the dignity and presence of mind just to get drunk and pass out in some gutter," said Jace. "I must say, I'm disappointed in the little fellow.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: funny, humor

465 likes

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#12

“If you can't do anything about it, laugh like hell.”
― David Cook

613 likes

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#13

“What I actually want to call you is a hell of a lot more unprintable than your name”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: clary-fray, funny, name-calling

413 likes

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#14

“I don't hate you.. I just don't like that you exist”
― Gena Showalter, Seduce the Darkness

tags: antipathy, dislike, funny, hatred

2373 likes

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#15

“If you're texting Magnus to say 'I think u r kewl' I'm going to kill you”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: cassandra-clare, city-of-ashes, funny, isabelle

329 likes

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#16

“Magnus raised his hands above his head and clapped once. The room flooded with light. "You see? You think that would be possible without magic?

"Actually," replied Simon, "It is. If you watched infomercials you'd know that.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: funny, magic, magnus-bane

353 likes

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#17

“What did Isabelle want?" Jace asked.
Alec hesitated. "Isabelle says the Queen of the Seelie Court has requested an audience with us."
"Sure," said Magnus. "And Madonna wants me as a backup dancer on her next world tour."
Alec looked puzzled. "Who's Madonna?"
"Who's the Queen of the Seelie Court?" said Clary.
"She is the Queen of Faerie," said Magnus. "Well, the local one, anyway."
Jace put his head in his hands. "Tell Isabelle no."
"But she thinks it's a good idea," Alec protested.
"Then tell her no twice.”
― Cassandra Clare

tags: faeries, funny, madonna, sarcasm

214 likes

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#18

“Tantalus made a wild grab, but the marshmallow committed suicide, diving into the flames.”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

471 likes

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#19

“We came to see Jace. Is he alright?"
"I don't know," Magnus said. "Does he normally just lie on the floor like that without moving?”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

tags: clary-fray, magnus-bane

10387 likes

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#20

“I am a man" he told her, "and men do not consume pink beverages. Get thee gone woman, and bring me something brown.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Glass

tags: brown, city-of-glass, clare, isabelle, jace

7000 likes

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#21

“No, I'm just a very naughty boy. I do all sorts of bad things. I kick kittens. I make rude gestures at nuns.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Ashes

4138 likes

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#22

“Declarations of love amuse me. Especially when unrequited.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary-fray, jace-wayland, love

4899 likes

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#23

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins

24401 likes

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#24

“Don't touch any of my weapons without my permission."
"Well, there goes my plan for selling them all on eBay," Clary muttered.
"Selling them on what?"
Clary smiled blandly at him. "A mythical place of great magical power.”
― Cassandra Clare, City of Bones

tags: clary-fray, ebay, jace-wayland, myth

9766 likes

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#25

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
― Garrison Keillor

tags: humor, religion

30244 likes

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#26

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people

18552 likes

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#27

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
― Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

9905 likes

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#28

“All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

tags: god, humor, life

11628 likes

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#29

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth

19793 likes

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#30

“When you're in jail, a good friend will be trying to bail you out. A best friend will be in the cell next to you saying, 'Damn, that was fun'.”
― Groucho Marx

tags: friends, humor, jail

10181 likes

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be-yourself
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music
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