Lillian > Lillian's Quotes

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#1

“OK," Josh said evenly, "I've seen men made of mud, I guess I can accept spying rats. Do they talk?" he wondered aloud.
Don't be ridiculous," Flamel snapped, "They're rats."
Josh really didn't think it was a ridiculous suggestion.”
― Michael Scott, The Alchemyst

tags: fun, humor, random, rats, ridiculous

171 likes

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#2

“Boys are idiots.

Girls are idiots, too, of course, but boys are a special kind of idiot.

A girl, for instance, will vote for a boy in an election, or go to a movie that's about a boy, or buy a book that features a boy hero (or villain). Boys are much less likely to return the favor. They can't wrap their feeble minds around the idea that this girl might have anything in common with them. It's like they can't recognize girls as human beings.”
― Josh Lieb, I Am a Genius of Unspeakable Evil and I Want to Be Your Class President

tags: boys, girls

82 likes

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#3

“All that is gold does not glitter,
Not all those who wander are lost;
The old that is strong does not wither,
Deep roots are not reached by the frost.

From the ashes a fire shall be woken,
A light from the shadows shall spring;
Renewed shall be blade that was broken,
The crownless again shall be king.”
― J.R.R. Tolkien, The Fellowship of the Ring

tags: frost, glitter, gold, lost, poetry, roots, strength, strong, wander, wither

58030 likes

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#4

“Life is a disease: sexually transmitted, and invariably fatal.”
― Neil Gaiman

6458 likes

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#5

“A woman is like a tea bag; you never know how strong it is until it's in hot water.”
― Eleanor Roosevelt

tags: attributed-no-source, misattributed-eleanor-roosevelt

40759 likes

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#6

“When you are courting a nice girl an hour seems like a second. When you sit on a red-hot cinder a second seems like an hour. That's relativity.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: humor

9934 likes

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#7

“When his life was ruined, his family killed, his farm destroyed, Job knelt down on the ground and yelled up to the heavens, "Why god? Why me?" and the thundering voice of God answered, There's just something about you that pisses me off.”
― Stephen King, Storm of the Century

tags: god, humor, religion

7980 likes

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#8

“I have never listened to anyone who criticized my taste in space travel, sideshows or gorillas. When this occurs, I pack up my dinosaurs and leave the room.”
― Ray Bradbury, Zen in the Art of Writing: Releasing the Creative Genius Within You

tags: humour, individuality, science-fiction

6233 likes

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#9

“It is what you read when you don't have to that determines what you will be when you can't help it.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: books, reading

21527 likes

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#10

“I would always rather be happy than dignified.”
― Charlotte Brontë, Jane Eyre

10632 likes

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#11

“I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.”
― George Carlin

tags: cliché, humor, individuality, retort

1134 likes

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#12

“Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.”
― Robert Orben

tags: humour, politics, truth

3208 likes

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#13

“It was love at first sight, at last sight, at ever and ever sight.”
― Vladimir Nabokov, Lolita

tags: humbert-humbert, love

6115 likes

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#14

“Photons have mass? I didn’t even know they were Catholic.”
― Woody Allen

tags: attributed, humor, physics, religion

438 likes

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#15

“Generally speaking, books don't cause much harm. Except when you read them, that is. Then they cause all kinds of problems.”
― Pseudonymous Bosch, The Name of This Book Is Secret

tags: book, books, harm, problems, read, reading

624 likes

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#16

“You are not special. You're not a beautiful and unique snowflake. You're the same decaying organic matter as everything else. We're all part of the same compost heap. We're all singing, all dancing crap of the world.”
― Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

tags: unique

2937 likes

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#17

“I love to see a young girl go out and grab the world by the lapels. Life's a bitch. You've got to go out and kick ass.”
― maya angelou

tags: humor, inspirational, life

6902 likes

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#18

“Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life so. Aim above morality. Be not simply good, be good for something.”
― Henry David Thoreau

tags: morality, usefulness

1719 likes

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#19

“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
― Linda Grayson

tags: chocolate, friendship

16484 likes

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#20

“The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status, or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we all believe that we are above-average drivers.”
― Dave Barry, Dave Barry Turns 50

tags: driving, human-beings, united

978 likes

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#21

“Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
― John Green

tags: humor, nerdfighters

21602 likes

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#22

“Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese.”
― G.K. Chesterton, Alarms and Discursions

tags: cheese, poetry

5001 likes

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#23

“It is better to be hated for what you are than to be loved for what you are not.”
― Andre Gide, Autumn Leaves

tags: life, love

62183 likes

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#24

“We all live inside the terrible engine of authority, and it grinds and shrieks and burns so that no one will say: lines on maps are silly.”
― Catherynne M. Valente, The Girl Who Circumnavigated Fairyland in a Ship of Her Own Making

tags: absurdity, authority, life, rules, society

154 likes

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#25

“Humans need fantasy to be human. To be the place where the falling angel meets the rising ape.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather

tags: fantasy

582 likes

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#26

“We can never be gods, after all--but we can become something less than human with frightening ease.”
― N.K. Jemisin, The Hundred Thousand Kingdoms

tags: cruelty, gods, hubris, humanity

334 likes

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#27

“Love does not consist of gazing at each other, but in looking outward together in the same direction.”
― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, Airman's Odyssey

tags: love

6200 likes

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#28

“Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth.”
― Henry David Thoreau, Walden or, Life in the Woods

tags: truth, values

5347 likes

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#29

“Logic will get you from A to Z; imagination will get you everywhere.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, imagination

24695 likes

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#30

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens; but often we look so long at the closed door that we do not see the one which has been opened for us.”
― Helen Keller

22815 likes

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