Albert > Albert's Quotes

“ I know you think you understand what you thought I said but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant”
― Alan Greenspan

“under the gold standard, a free banking system stands as the protector of an economy's stability and balanced growth... The abandonment of the gold standard made it possible for the welfare statists to use the banking system as a means to an unlimited expansion of credit... In the absence of the gold standard, there is no way to protect savings from confiscation through inflation”
― Alan Greenspan

“If a little is great, and a lot is better, then way too much is just about right!”
― Mae West

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
― Mark Twain

“Did you ever want to set someone's head on fire, just to see what it looked like? Did you ever stand in the street and think to yourself, I could make that nun go blind just by giving her a kiss? Did you ever lay out plans for stitching babies and stray cats into a Perfect New Human? Did you ever stand naked surrounded by people who want your gleaming sperm, squirting frankincense, soma and testosterone from every pore? If so, then you're the bastard who stole my drugs Friday night. And I'll find you. Oh, yes.”
― Warren Ellis, Transmetropolitan, Vol. 5: Lonely City

“The universe is a big place, perhaps the biggest.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

“The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
― Terry Pratchett, Diggers

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
― Woody Allen

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

“My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
― Winston S. Churchill

“I always arrive late at the office, but I make up for it by leaving early.”
― Charles Lamb

“To lose one parent, Mr. Worthing, may be regarded as a misfortune; to lose both looks like carelessness.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

“I have nothing to declare except my genius.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Just because you're beautiful and perfect, it's made you conceited.”
― William Goldman, The Princess Bride

“You know what the fellow said – in Italy, for thirty years under the Borgias, they had warfare, terror, murder and bloodshed, but they produced Michelangelo, Leonardo da Vinci and the Renaissance. In Switzerland, they had brotherly love, they had five hundred years of democracy and peace – and what did that produce? The cuckoo clock.”
― Graham Greene, The Third Man

“I never made a mistake in my life; at least, never one that I couldn't explain away afterwards.”
― Rudyard Kipling, Under The Deodars

“If a cricketer, for instance, suddenly decided to go into a school and batter a lot of people to death with a cricket bat, which he could do very easily, I mean, are you going to ban cricket bats?”
― Prince Philip

“A cavalryman's horse should be smarter than he is. But the horse must never be alowed to know this.”
― Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War

“To say she was my girlfriend was absurd: no one the wrong side of thirty has a girlfriend… I suppose I ought to have realize it’s ominous that forty thousand years of human language had failed to produce a word for our relationship.”
― Robert Harris, The Ghost

“A horse must be a bit mad to be a good cavalry mount, and its rider must be completely so.”
― Steven Pressfield, The Virtues of War

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

“Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add

“Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
― C.E.M. Joad

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”
― Jane Austen, Pride and Prejudice

“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.”
― Mark Twain

“I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
― Woody Allen

“Everywhere I go I'm asked if I think the university stifles writers. My opinion is that they don't stifle enough of them. There's many a best-seller that could have been prevented by a good teacher.”
― Flannery O'Connor