Wayv > Wayv's Quotes

“If you can make a woman laugh, you can make her do anything.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“It's often just enough to be with someone. I don't need to touch them. Not even talk. A feeling passes between you both. You're not alone.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“I've never fooled anyone. I've let people fool themselves. They didn't bother to find out who and what I was. Instead they would invent a character for me. I wouldn't argue with them. They were obviously loving somebody I wasn't.”
― Marilyn Monroe

“Women who seek to be equal with men lack ambition.”
― Timothy Leary

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.”
― George Carlin

“Some people see things that are and ask, Why?
Some people dream of things that never were and ask, Why not?
Some people have to go to work and don't have time for all that.”
― George Carlin

“That's why they call it the American Dream, because you have to be asleep to believe it.”
― George Carlin

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.”
― George Carlin

“I don't have pet peeves - I have major psychotic fucking hatreds.”
― George Carlin

“The main reason Santa is so jolly is because he knows where all the bad girls live.”
― George Carlin

“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.”
― George Carlin

“The planet is fine. The people are fucked.”
― George Carlin

“I have as much authority as the Pope. I just don’t have as many people who believe it.”
― George Carlin

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”
― George Carlin

“Don't sweat the petty things and don't pet the sweaty things.”
― George Carlin

“Life gets really simple once you cut out all the bull shit they teach you in school.”
― George Carlin

“Scratch any cynic and you will find a disappointed idealist.”
― George Carlin

“Isn’t it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do “practice”?”
― George Carlin

“In America, anyone can become president. That's the problem.”
― George Carlin

“Not only do I not know what's going on, I wouldn't know what to do about it if I did.”
― George Carlin

“It's never just a game when you're winning.”
― George Carlin

“I put a dollar in a change machine. Nothing changed.”
― George Carlin

“If your kid needs a role model and you ain't it, you're both fucked.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“Regarding the fitness craze: America has lost its soul; now it's trying to save its body.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“Now, there's one thing you might have noticed I don't complain about: politicians. Everybody complains about politicians. Everybody says they suck. Well, where do people think these politicians come from? They don't fall out of the sky. They don't pass through a membrane from another reality. They come from American parents and American families, American homes, American schools, American churches, American businesses and American universities, and they are elected by American citizens. This is the best we can do folks. This is what we have to offer. It's what our system produces: Garbage in, garbage out. If you have selfish, ignorant citizens, you're going to get selfish, ignorant leaders. Term limits ain't going to do any good; you're just going to end up with a brand new bunch of selfish, ignorant Americans. So, maybe, maybe, maybe, it's not the politicians who suck. Maybe something else sucks around here... like, the public. Yeah, the public sucks. There's a nice campaign slogan for somebody: 'The Public Sucks. F*ck Hope.”
― George Carlin

“I figured out years ago that the human species is totally fucked and has been for a long time. I also know that the sick, media-consumer culture in America continues to make this so-called problem worse. But the trick, folks, is not to give a fuck. Like me. I really don't
care. I stopped worrying about all this temporal bullshit a long time ago. It's meaningless. ”
― George Carlin

“I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that "I do" is the longest sentence?”
― George Carlin

“The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
― George Carlin

“Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
― Narcotics Anonymous

“You know you're in love when you can't fall asleep because reality is finally better than your dreams.”
― Dr. Seuss