Tyson Call > Tyson's Quotes

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  • #1
    Jack Kerouac
    “The truth of the matter is, you die, all you do is die, and yet you live, yes you live, and that's no Harvard lie.”
    Jack Kerouac

  • #2
    Christopher Hitchens
    “Beware the irrational, however seductive. Shun the 'transcendent' and all who invite you to subordinate or annihilate yourself. Distrust compassion; prefer dignity for yourself and others. Don't be afraid to be thought arrogant or selfish. Picture all experts as if they were mammals. Never be a spectator of unfairness or stupidity. Seek out argument and disputation for their own sake; the grave will supply plenty of time for silence. Suspect your own motives, and all excuses. Do not live for others any more than you would expect others to live for you.”
    Christopher Hitchens, Letters to a Young Contrarian

  • #3
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    Garrison Keillor

  • #4
    George Carlin
    “Religion has actually convinced people that there's an invisible man living in the sky who watches everything you do, every minute of every day. And the invisible man has a special list of ten things he does not want you to do. And if you do any of these ten things, he has a special place, full of fire and smoke and burning and torture and anguish, where he will send you to live and suffer and burn and choke and scream and cry forever and ever 'til the end of time!

    But He loves you. He loves you, and He needs money! He always needs money! He's all-powerful, all-perfect, all-knowing, and all-wise, somehow just can't handle money!”
    George Carlin

  • #5
    Abraham Lincoln
    “When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.”
    Abraham Lincoln

  • #6
    Douglas Adams
    “Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?”
    Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

  • #7
    Jon   Stewart
    “Religion. It's given people hope in a world torn apart by religion.”
    Jon Stewart

  • #8
    Steve  Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    Steve Martin

  • #9
    Ernest Hemingway
    “There is nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and bleed.”
    Ernest Hemingway

  • #10
    J.D. Salinger
    “What really knocks me out is a book that, when you're all done reading it, you wish the author that wrote it was a terrific friend of yours and you could call him up on the phone whenever you felt like it. That doesn't happen much, though.”
    J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye

  • #11
    Mark Twain
    “Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
    Mark Twain

  • #12
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “We have to continually be jumping off cliffs and developing our wings on the way down.”
    Kurt Vonnegut, If This Isn't Nice, What Is?: Advice for the Young

  • #13
    Hunter S. Thompson
    “We are all wired into a survival trip now. No more of the speed that fueled that 60's. That was the fatal flaw in Tim Leary's trip. He crashed around America selling "consciousness expansion" without ever giving a thought to the grim meat-hook realities that were lying in wait for all the people who took him seriously... All those pathetically eager acid freaks who thought they could buy Peace and Understanding for three bucks a hit. But their loss and failure is ours too. What Leary took down with him was the central illusion of a whole life-style that he helped create... a generation of permanent cripples, failed seekers, who never understood the essential old-mystic fallacy of the Acid Culture: the desperate assumption that somebody... or at least some force - is tending the light at the end of the tunnel.”
    Hunter S. Thompson, Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream

  • #14
    Thomas de Quincey
    “If once a man indulges himself in murder, very soon he comes to think little of robbing; and from robbing he comes next to drinking and Sabbath-breaking, and from that to incivility and procrastination. Once begun upon this downward path, you never know where you are to stop. Many a man has dated his ruin from some murder or other that perhaps he thought little of at the time.”
    Thomas de Quincey
    tags: humor, wit

  • #15
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “We've all been raised on television to believe that one day we'd all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won't. And we're slowly learning that fact. And we're very, very pissed off.”
    Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club

  • #16
    David Sedaris
    “When forced to leave my house for an extended period of time, I take my typewriter with me, and together we endure the wretchedness of passing through the X-ray scanner. The laptops roll merrily down the belt, while I’m instructed to stand aside and open my bag. To me it seems like a normal enough thing to be carrying, but the typewriter’s declining popularity arouses suspicion and I wind up eliciting the sort of reaction one might expect when traveling with a cannon.

    It’s a typewriter,’ I say. ‘You use it to write angry letters to airport security.”
    David Sedaris

  • #17
    Kurt Vonnegut Jr.
    “Those who believe in telekinetics, raise my hand.”
    Kurt Vonnegut

  • #18
    John Steinbeck
    “Some people think it’s an insult to the glory of their sickness to get well.”
    John Steinbeck, East of Eden



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