Gordon P > Gordon's Quotes

Showing 1-30 of 81

« previous 1 2 3 next »

like

#1

“I'm the terrorist, do what I say or I'll terrorize you.”
― D.J. MacHale, Raven Rise

tags: humor, sci-fi

120 likes

like

#2

“I came from a real tough neighborhood. Once a guy pulled a knife on me. I knew he wasn't a professional, the knife had butter on it.”
― Rodney Dangerfield

tags: crime, funny, humour, neighborhoods

3717 likes

like

#3

“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's warm for the rest of his life.”
― Terry Pratchett, Jingo

tags: humor, proverb

12933 likes

like

#4

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor, scifi

23461 likes

like

#5

“Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much.”
― Oscar Wilde

tags: attributed-no-source, enemies, forgiveness, strategy

81835 likes

like

#6

“You are okay?" he asked. "Not eaten by monsters?"
"Not even a little bit." I showed him that I still had both arms and both legs, and Tyson clapped happily.
"Yay!" he said. "Now we can eat peanut butter sandwiches and ride fish ponies! We can fight monsters and see Annabeth and make things go BOOM!"
I hoped he didn't mean all at the same time, but I told him absolutely, we'd have a lot of fun this summer.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: annabeth-chase, olympians, peanut-butter, percy-jackson, tyson

2594 likes

like

#7

“Now it was just the three of us: the leader, the warrior, and the kid about to wet his pants. Guess who I was.”
― D.J. MacHale

tags: funny

494 likes

like

#8

“A clever person solves a problem. A wise person avoids it.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: misattributed-to-einstein

9503 likes

like

#9

“Ever had a flying burrito hit you? Well, it's a deadly projectile, right up there with cannonballs and grenades.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

5394 likes

like

#10

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
― Albert Einstein

tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe

148479 likes

like

#11

“Ever hear of the phrase, Banging you're head on a brick wall?"
Ah, but you forget, Darren, vampires can break brick walls with their heads.”
― Darren Shan, Hunters of the Dusk

tags: vampires

290 likes

like

#12

“Let us find the dam snack bar," Zoe said. "We should eat while we can."
Grover cracked a smile. "The dam snack bar?"
Zoe blinked. "Yes. What is funny?"
"Nothing," Grover said, trying to keep a straight face. "I could use some dam french fries."
Even Thalia smiled at that. "And I need to use the dam restroom."
...
I started cracking up, and Thalia and Grover joined in, while Zoe just looked at me. "I do not understand."
"I want to use the dam water fountain," Grover said.
"And..." Thalia tried to catch her breath. "I want to buy a dam t-shirt.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

tags: humor

9789 likes

like

#13

“It seemed weird calling a teenager 'sir' but I'd learned to be careful with immortals. They tended to get offended easily. Then, they blew stuff up.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: explosions, humor, immortals, teenager

1880 likes

like

#14

“Grover was sniffing the wind, looking nervous. He fished out his acorns and threw them into the sand, then played his pipes. They rearranged themselves in a pattern that made no sense to me, but Grover looked concerned.
"That's us," he said. "Those five nuts right there."
"Which one is me?" I asked.
"The little deformed one," Zoe suggested.
"Oh, shut up.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan’s Curse

tags: acorns, percy-jackson, zoe-nightshade

4027 likes

like

#15

“In a way, it's nice to know that there are Greek gods out there, because you have somebody to blame when things go wrong. For instance, when you're walking away from a bus that's just been attacked by monster hags and blown up by lightning, and it's raining on top of everything else, most people might think that's just really bad luck; when you're a half-blood, you understand that some devine force is really trying to mess up your day.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: books, humor, olympians

3409 likes

like

#16

“You deal with mythological stuff for a few years, you learn that paradises are usually places where you get killed.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: humor, mythological, paradise

2655 likes

like

#17

“Jumping out a window five hundred feet above ground is not usually my idea of fun. Especially when I'm wearing bronze wings and flapping my arms like a duck.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: duck, wings

1781 likes

like

#18

“Poison!" Grover yelped. "Don't let those things touch you or..."
"Or we'll die?" I guessed.
"Well...after you shrivel slowly to dust, yes."
"Let's avoid the swords," I decided.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: dust, humor, poison, shrivel, swords

710 likes

like

#19

“The cafe windows wrapped all the way around the observation floor, which gave us a beautiful panoramic view of the skeleton army that had come to kill us.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: why-i-love-percy-jackson

1262 likes

like

#20

“My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it.”
― Rick Riordan

tags: family

1529 likes

like

#21

“Almost everything strange washes up near Miami. ”
― Rick Riordan

tags: florida, humor, miami, strange

520 likes

like

#22

“So, you wrecked Alcatraz Island, made Mount St. Helens explode, and displaced half a million people, but at least you're safe."
"Yep, that pretty much covers it.”
― Rick Riordan

926 likes

like

#23

“Something was wrong with Luke," Annabeth muttered, poking at the fire with her knife. "Did you notice the way he was acting?"
"He looked pretty pleased to me," I said. "Like he'd spent a nice day torturing heroes."
"That's not true! There was something wrong with him. He looked...nervous. He told his monsters to spare me. He wanted to tell me something."
"Probably, 'Hi, Annabeth! Sit here with me and watch while I tear your friends apart. It'll be fun!”
― Rick Riordan

656 likes

like

#24

“Dreams like a podcast,
Downloading truth in my ears.
They tell me cool stuff."
"Apollo?" I guess, because I figured nobody else could make a haiku that bad.
He put his finger to his lips. "I'm incognito. Call me Fred."
"A god named Fred?”
― Rick Riordan

tags: apollo, fred, haiku, humor, percy-jackson, poem

3298 likes

like

#25

“She said this in the same way you might say Fields of Punishment or Hades's gym shorts.”
― Rick Riordan, The Titan's Curse

tags: funny, humor

1093 likes

like

#26

“Hermes gazed up at the stars. 'My dear young cousin, if there's one thing I've learned over the eons, it's that you can't give up on your family, no matter how tempting they make it. It doesn't matter if they hate you, or embarrass you, or simply don't appreciate your genius for inventing the Internet--”
― Rick Riordan, The Sea of Monsters

tags: family, relatives

1313 likes

like

#27

“Rachel: You're a half-blood, too?
Annabeth: Shhh! Just announce it to the world, how about?
Rachel: Okay. Hey, everybody! These two aren't human! They're half Greek god!...They don't seem to care.”
― Rick Riordan, The Battle of the Labyrinth

tags: annabeth-chase, half-blood, humor, rachel-elizabeth-dare

2258 likes

like

#28

“I said hello to the poodle.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: humor, mythology, pets

1012 likes

like

#29

“You drool when you sleep.”
― Rick Riordan, The Lightning Thief

tags: annabeth-chase, drool

1236 likes

like

#30

“With great power... comes great need to take a nap. Wake me up later.”
― Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian

tags: nico

13394 likes

« previous 1 2 3 next »

All Quotes

Tags From Gordon’s Quotes

humor
sci-fi
crime
funny
humour
neighborhoods
proverb
scifi
attributed-no-source
enemies
forgiveness
strategy
annabeth-chase
olympians
peanut-butter
percy-jackson
tyson
misattributed-to-einstein
human-nature
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
vampires
explosions
immortals
teenager
acorns
zoe-nightshade
books
mythological
paradise
duck
wings
dust
poison
shrivel
swords
why-i-love-percy-jackson
family
florida
miami
strange
apollo
fred
haiku
poem
relatives
half-blood
rachel-elizabeth-dare
mythology
pets
drool
nico