Alexander > Alexander's Quotes

“If you want the law to leave you alone, keep your hair trimmed and your boots shined.”
― Louis L'Amour, The Man Called Noon

“Everything has an end, if only you live long enough to see it.”
― H. Rider Haggard, King Solomon's Mines

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.”
― Frank Herbert, Dune

“Take what life can give you, Ana, and do not trouble about the offerings which are laid in the tombs for time to crumble.”
― H. Rider Haggard, Moon of Israel

“I have noted that those who desire to do the most good often work the greatest harm.”
― H. Rider Haggard, Moon of Israel

“A man who lies about beer makes enemies”
― Stephen King, Pet Sematary

“Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.”
― Isaac Asimov

“The reason people use a crucifix against vampires is because vampires are allergic to bullshit.”
― Richard Pryor

“Scientists do not join hands every Sunday and sing "Yes gravity is real! I know gravity is real! I will have faith! I believe in my heart that what goes up, up, up must come down, down, down. Amen!" If they did, we would think they were pretty insecure about the concept.”
― Dan Barker, Godless: How an Evangelical Preacher Became One of America's Leading Atheists

“Only someone who is well prepared has the opportunity to improvise.”
― Ingmar Bergman

“The only way to behave to a woman is to make love to her if she is pretty, and to someone else if she is plain.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnest

“I am not a speed reader. I am a speed understander.”
― Isaac Asimov

“Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.”
― Oscar Wilde

“I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
― W.C. Fields

“I don't like ass kissers, flag wavers or team players. I like people who buck the system. Individualists. I often warn people: "Somewhere along the way, someone is going to tell you, 'There is no "I" in team.' What you should tell them is, 'Maybe not. But there is an "I" in independence, individuality and integrity.'" Avoid teams at all cost. Keep your circle small. Never join a group that has a name. If they say, "We're the So-and-Sos," take a walk. And if, somehow, you must join, if it's unavoidable, such as a union or a trade association, go ahead and join. But don't participate; it will be your death. And if they tell you you're not a team player, congratulate them on being observant.”
― George Carlin

“Some people see the glass half full. Others see it half empty.
I see a glass that's twice as big as it needs to be.”
― George Carlin

“When I ask how old your toddler is, I don't need to hear '27 months.' 'He's two' will do just fine. He's not a cheese. And I didn't really care in the first place.”
― George Carlin

“People who say they don't care what people think are usually desperate to have people think they don't care what people think.”
― George Carlin

“Real stupidity beats artificial intelligence every time.”
― Terry Pratchett, Hogfather