Jelbel ☠♥Smooth Criminal♥☠ ♥☠♥☠♥ > Jelbel ☠♥Smooth Criminal♥☠'s Quotes

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#1

“Holy fu-" he starts then catches himself."Yes,this tithe will be most pleasing to her Goodness." Me and Magnus exchange amused glances.”
― Mari Mancusi

tags: humor, paranormal, romance

8 likes

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#2

“This time the fluttery feeling in my stomach was more intense. It made the inside of my thighs tingle and my breathing deepen.”
― P.C. Cast Kristin Cast

tags: love, romance

74 likes

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#3

“Oh yeah? How about M'Lin the cursed?”
― Lj Smith

tags: humor, paranormal, romance

11 likes

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#4

“He's like a drug for you, Bella.”
― Stephenie Meyer, Eclipse

19584 likes

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#5

“Be yourself; everyone else is already taken.”
― Oscar Wilde

177836 likes

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#6

“More than anything." Rob persisted. "You'd crawl on your belly over broken glass for her. Easy.”
― L.J. Smith, The Passion

tags: humor, paranormal, romance

57 likes

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#7

“Now," said Brandons low, cold voice. "Lets not be rude eve.”
― Rachel Caine, Glass Houses

tags: humor, paranormal, romance

62 likes

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#8

“The door banged open, and Eve rushed out, flushed and mussed and still buttoning her shirt. 'It's not what you think,' she said. 'It was just—oh, okay, whatever, it was exactly what you think. Now, what?”
― Rachel Caine, Lord of Misrule

tags: humor, paranormal, romance

272 likes

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#9

“Based on what you know about him in history books, what do you think Abraham Lincoln would be doing if he were alive today? 1) Writing his memoirs of the Civil War. 2) Advising the President. 3) Desperately clawing at the inside of his coffin. ”
― David Letterman

17 likes

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#10

“Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can using only their hands and feet make some of the worst movies in the history of the world.”
― Dave Barry

tags: humor

26 likes

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#11

“The sole difference between myself and a madman is the fact that I am not mad!”
― Salvador Dali

tags: insanity, sanity

326 likes

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#12

“Usually my form of turning someone down was shoving a stake through his heart while smirking, Gotcha!”
― Jeaniene Frost, Halfway to the Grave

tags: humor, paranormal, romance

235 likes

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#13

“Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx

tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor

38020 likes

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#14

“A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
― Steve Martin

tags: humor, obvious, simile

35268 likes

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#15

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

tags: humor, mankind, people

18560 likes

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#16

“The story so far:
In the beginning the Universe was created.
This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: fantasy, humor, scifi

23479 likes

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#17

“Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
― Markus Herz

tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints

13739 likes

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#18

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

tags: humor

10164 likes

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#19

“There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
― Oscar Levant

tags: genius, humor, insanity

9901 likes

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#20

“Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
― Thomas Szasz

tags: humor, inspirational

9771 likes

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#21

“Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.”
― Anthony G. Oettinger

tags: humor, misattributed-to-groucho-marx, time

6192 likes

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#22

“There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable.

There is another theory which states that this has already happened.”
― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe

tags: humor

7876 likes

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#23

“I like work: it fascinates me. I can sit and look at it for hours.”
― Jerome K. Jerome

tags: humor, work

8143 likes

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#24

“It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!”
― Friedrich Nietzsche

tags: humor, philosophy

8095 likes

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#25

“There are two motives for reading a book; one, that you enjoy it; the other, that you can boast about it.”
― Bertrand Russell

8034 likes

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#26

“The covers of this book are too far apart.”
― Ambrose Bierce

tags: attributed-no-source, books, criticism, humor, wit

1599 likes

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#27

“I must have a prodigious amount of mind; it takes me as much as a week, sometimes, to make it up!”
― Mark Twain

1191 likes

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#28

“Being a detective isn't all about torture and murder and monsters. Sometimes it gets truly unpleasant...The fate of the world may depend on whether or not you can bring yourself to visit your relatives.”
― Derek Landy

tags: family, humor

668 likes

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#29

“Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
― Mark Twain

34483 likes

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#30

“Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
― Jim Henson

26434 likes

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Tags From Jelbel ☠♥Smooth Criminal♥☠’s Quotes

humor
paranormal
romance
love
insanity
sanity
animals
books
dogs
friends
obvious
simile
mankind
people
fantasy
scifi
health
misattributed-mark-twain
misprints
genius
inspirational
misattributed-to-groucho-marx
time
work
philosophy
attributed-no-source
criticism
wit
family