Nick > Nick's Quotes

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  • #1
    Eoin Colfer
    “Trust me. I'm a genius.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    551 likes

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  • #2
    Eoin Colfer
    “No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Lost Colony
    tags: humor, men
    538 likes

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  • #3
    Eoin Colfer
    “Butler could kill you a hundred different ways without use of his armoury. Though I'm sure one would be quite sufficient.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    tags: artemis-fowl
    444 likes

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  • #4
    Eoin Colfer
    “I can't imagine what they're planning. But I can tell you two things. We won't like it, and it won't be legal.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Artemis Fowl Files
    tags: holly-short
    358 likes

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  • #5
    Eoin Colfer
    “Being in command means making tough decisions. Not being in command means shutting up and doing what you're told.
    --Artemis Fowl”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Artemis Fowl Files
    370 likes

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  • #6
    Eoin Colfer
    “A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code
    tags: holly-short, technology
    365 likes

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  • #7
    Eoin Colfer
    “And one more thing. About my name — Artemis — you were right. In London, it is generally a female name, after the Greek goddess of archery. But every now and then a male comes along with such a talent for hunting that he earns the right to use the name. I am that male. Artemis the hunter. I hunted you.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code
    tags: artemi
    387 likes

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  • #8
    Eoin Colfer
    “We're being lead by an idiot with a crayon.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident
    tags: humor
    361 likes

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  • #9
    Eoin Colfer
    “That was horrible. Horrible. That poor little guy."
    Pex was unrepentant. "Yeah, well, he asked for it. Calling us ... all those things."
    But---buried alive! That's like in that horror movie. Y'know -- the one with all the horror."
    I think I saw that one. With all the words going up on the screen at the end?"
    Yeah, that was it. Tell you the truth, those words kinda ruined it for me.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code
    tags: cinema, horror-movies, humor, killers, stupidity
    279 likes

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  • #10
    Eoin Colfer
    “In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getting caught.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Half Moon Investigations
    tags: boys, girls, half-moon, investigations, mystery
    389 likes

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  • #11
    Eoin Colfer
    “The problem is that I know the textbook answers to any question you care to ask.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    301 likes

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  • #12
    Eoin Colfer
    “I am unarmed. But Butler here, my ...ah...butler, has a Sig Saucer in his shoulder holster, two shrike-throwing knives in his boots, aderringer two-shot up his sleeve, garrotte wire in his watch, and three stun greanades concealed in variouse pockets. Anything else, Butler?”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    255 likes

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  • #13
    Eoin Colfer
    “No, mademoiselle, I would not like to see the children's menu. I have no doubt that the children's menu itself tastes better than the meals on it. I would like to order à la carte. Or don't you serve fish to minors?”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code
    tags: artemis, code, eoin-colfer, eternity, fowl
    259 likes

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  • #14
    Eoin Colfer
    “Humm humm haaa. Rahmumm humm haaaa," intoned Opal, finishing her chant. "Peace be inside me, tolerance all around me, forgiveness in my path. Now, Mervall, show me where the filthy human is so that I may feed him his organs.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox
    tags: evil-overlord, fun, humor, revenge, violence
    280 likes

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  • #15
    Eoin Colfer
    “(about his terrible attempt at making a sandwich) It's more difficult than it looks. (Artemis Fowl)”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Eternity Code
    225 likes

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  • #16
    Eoin Colfer
    “I'm right there with you, darlin'. Unless you step on a landmine, in which case I'm way back in the Operations Room.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    266 likes

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  • #17
    Eoin Colfer
    “I bet," said Mulch, "that you would set the world on fire just to watch it burn."
    Opal tapped the suggestion into a small electronic notepad on her pocket computer.
    Thanks for that. Now, tell me everything.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox
    tags: evil-overlord, fun, humor
    209 likes

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  • #18
    Eoin Colfer
    “(text message) CMDR ROOT. TRBLE BELOW. HAVN OVRRN BY GOBLINS. PLCE PLAZA SRROUNDED. CUDGEON + OPL KBOI BHND PLOT. NO WPONS OR CMMUNICATIONS. DNA CNONS CNTRLLED BY KBOI. I M TRPPED IN OP BTH. CNCL THNKS IM 2 BLM. IF ALIVE PLSE HLP. IF NOT, WRNG NMBR.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident
    209 likes

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  • #19
    Eoin Colfer
    “Can we please focus? We are supposed to be professionals." Holly said.

    "Not me!" said Orion cheerily, "I'm just a Teenager with hormones running wild and may I say, young fairy lady, they're running wild in your direction.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex
    tags: artemis-fowl, atlantis-complex, eoin-colfer, orion-fowl
    254 likes

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  • #20
    Eoin Colfer
    “Hit that back-stabber where it hurts, right in the ambition.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    270 likes

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  • #21
    Eoin Colfer
    “I am charging you with the protection of my mother and friends, not to mention keeping my younger self off the Internet. He is as dangerous as Opal.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Time Paradox
    tags: fun, humor, internet, kids, teenagers, time-travel
    201 likes

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  • #22
    Eoin Colfer
    “Look!" said Foaly, pointing with some urgency into the vast steel-gray gloom, "Someone who cares!”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex
    tags: artemis-fowl, foaly, humor, humour
    229 likes

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  • #23
    Eoin Colfer
    “Really, I'm trying to care, Artemis, really. But I thought it was all supposed to be over when the fat lady sings. Well, she's singing, but it doesn't appear to be over”
    ― Eoin Colfer
    tags: artemis, colfer, colony, demons, eoin, fowl, humor, lost
    181 likes

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  • #24
    Eoin Colfer
    “What's that supposed to mean? A wolf's head on a stick. Big wolf barbecue tonight? Bring your own wolf?”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Lost Colony
    tags: barbecue, bbq, humor, signs, wolf, wolves
    170 likes

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  • #25
    Eoin Colfer
    “Orion:"Oh, how I pray that dragon will turn 'round so that I may smite it."
    Foaly: "Smite it with what? Your secret birthmark?"
    Orion: "Don't you mock my birthmark, which I may or may not have.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex
    178 likes

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  • #26
    Eoin Colfer
    “I'm the crazy girly captain, Remember?”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Arctic Incident
    tags: holly-short, humor
    159 likes

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  • #27
    Eoin Colfer
    “(to Foaly) Captain Short's life is in danger, so push the button before I climb that tower and push it with your face!”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    180 likes

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  • #28
    Eoin Colfer
    “Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy about you.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex
    189 likes

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  • #29
    Eoin Colfer
    “Stay back, human. You don't know what you're dealing with.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, Artemis Fowl
    192 likes

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  • #30
    Eoin Colfer
    “Orion brightened. "I have an idea."

    "Yes?" said Foaly, daring to hope that a spark of Artemis remained.

    "Why don't we look for some magic stones that can grant wishes? Or, if that doesn't work, you could search my naked body for some mysterious birthmark that means I am actually the prince of somewhere or other.”
    ― Eoin Colfer, The Atlantis Complex
    tags: artemis-fowl, atlantis, birthmarks, complex, foaly, humor, orion
    166 likes



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Tags From Nick’s Quotes

humor
men
artemis-fowl
holly-short
technology
artemi
cinema
horror-movies
killers
stupidity
boys
girls
half-moon
investigations
mystery
artemis
code
eoin-colfer
eternity
fowl
evil-overlord
fun
revenge
violence
atlantis-complex
orion-fowl
internet
kids
teenagers
time-travel
foaly
humour
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bbq
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complex
orion