The Resilient Parent > The Resilient Parent's Quotes

“Remember, you’re not a bad parent raising a bad kid. Life is hard and parenting is hard. It’s not your fault you’re losing your shit, but it’s absolutely your responsibility to do what you can to reduce the likelihood that you will lose it and to stay cool as often as possible.”
― Carla Naumburg, How to Stop Losing Your Shit with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent

“This is also a good time to remind you yet again that you don’t need to be a perfect parent to be a great parent.”
― Carla Naumburg, How to Stop Losing Your Shit with Your Kids: A Practical Guide to Becoming a Calmer, Happier Parent

“Few things in this world are as important as raising children. In every age, every era, every time and place, children are our treasures, our future, our immortality—the vital link in the chain of humanity.”
― William Martin, The Parent's Tao Te Ching: Ancient Advice for Modern Parents

“You are settling into simply being in the present, letting go of the past and not fearing or planning the future. Nothing to fix, no other place to go, no one you have to be. Rest and relax as a whole body breathing.”
― Rick Hanson, Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness

“Third, recognize the costs of not forgiving the other person. It pains me to admit the price I’ve paid for resentment and bitterness in my own life and to admit how these attitudes have also harmed other people.”
― Rick Hanson, Resilient: How to Grow an Unshakable Core of Calm, Strength, and Happiness

“WHEN OUR CHILDREN PERCEIVE US AS STEADY AND CALM—REGARDLESS OF THEIR MOODS OR BEHAVIOR—THEY CAN RELAX, KNOWING THEY CAN RELY ON US TO GET THEM THROUGH THE CHALLENGING MOMENTS OF THEIR LIVES.”
― Susan Stiffelman, Parenting Without Power Struggles: Raising Joyful, Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm, and Connected

“When you love someone, the best thing you can offer is your presence. How can you love if you are not there?”
― Hunter Clarke-Fields, Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids

“Meeting your own needs for sleep, exercise, meditation, and time with friends is essential to living a happier life as a parent. Plus, you are modeling how to live life for your child.”
― Hunter Clarke-Fields, Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids

“We need four hugs a day for survival. We need eight hugs a day for maintenance. We need twelve hugs a day for growth.”
― Hunter Clarke-Fields, Raising Good Humans: A Mindful Guide to Breaking the Cycle of Reactive Parenting and Raising Kind, Confident Kids

“1. Read the signs and reframe the behavior. 2. Identify the stressors. 3. Reduce the stress. 4. Reflect. Become aware of when you’re overstressed. 5. Respond. Figure out what helps you calm, rest, and recover.”
― Stuart Shanker, Self-Reg: How to Help Your Child (and You) Break the Stress Cycle and Successfully Engage with Life

“Whenever I notice something about myself I don’t like, or whenever something goes wrong in my life, I silently repeat the following phrases: This is a moment of suffering. Suffering is part of life. May I be kind to myself in this moment. May I give myself the compassion I need.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Being human is not about being any one particular way; it is about being as life creates you—with your own particular strengths and weaknesses, gifts and challenges, quirks and oddities.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Compassion is not only relevant to those who are blameless victims, but also to those whose suffering stems from failures, personal weakness, or bad decisions. You know, the kind you and I make every day.”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Clearly you don’t have complete control over your actions, or else you’d only act in ways that you approved of. So why are you judging yourself so harshly for the way you are?”
― Kristin Neff, Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

“Have we created a space in our families where our kids know that they belong. Where there are no prerequisites for worthiness, you don't have to hustle here for me to believe you're worthy of loving. You don't have to perform here for me to think that you belong here. You don't have to be perfect. You don't have to get a certain grade on your test. You don't have to hit so many home-runs. You belong here.”
― Brené Brown, The Gifts of Imperfect Parenting

“Finding the good inside can often come from asking ourselves one simple question: “What is my most generous interpretation of what just happened?”
― Becky Kennedy, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

“Building resilience is about developing the capacity to tolerate distress, to stay in and with a tough, challenging moment, to find our footing and our goodness even when we don’t have confirmation of achievement or pending success.”
― Becky Kennedy, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

“Someone else is allowed to be upset when I assert myself; this doesn’t make them a bad person and it doesn’t make me unable to uphold my decision.”
― Becky Kennedy, Good Inside: A Guide to Becoming the Parent You Want to Be

“As parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move toward health as well. That means that integrating and cultivating your own brain is one of the most loving and generous gifts you can give your children. Another”
― Daniel J. Siegel, The Whole-Brain Child: 12 Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

“As children develop, their brains "mirror" their parent's brain. In other words, the parent's own growth and development, or lack of those, impact the child's brain. As parents become more aware and emotionally healthy, their children reap the rewards and move toward health as well.”
― Daniel J. Siegel, The Whole-Brain Child: Revolutionary Strategies to Nurture Your Child's Developing Mind

“​REFLECTION Pause and let yourself sink into this moment, into presence, into your heart. Gently say to yourself, “There’s nothing to do. This is enough . . . I am enough.” Feel the fullness and peace of coming home.”
― Tara Brach, Trusting the Gold: Uncovering Your Natural Goodness

“If we want our children to be independent, to go out and take on the world, we have to give them full confidence that they can come back to us as needed. Autonomy and connection: That’s secure attachment.”
― Kent Hoffman, Raising a Secure Child: How Circle of Security Parenting Can Help You Nurture Your Child's Attachment, Emotional Resilience, and Freedom to Explore

“Seldom does anyone actually say, “Wow, you sure seem uncomfortable. You’re weird and don’t deserve to be here.”
― Ellen Hendriksen, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety

“First, we hold ourselves to strict, near-impossible standards but are understanding and compassionate to everyone else. As if that double standard weren’t bad enough, we also try to see the best in others, but assume others will see the worst in us. When you think about it, our assumption that others will be judgmental and rejecting is actually quite ungenerous of us.”
― Ellen Hendriksen, How to Be Yourself: Quiet Your Inner Critic and Rise Above Social Anxiety

“But the world is oddly lacking in discussions of what happens, physically, to Mom after the baby arrives. Before the baby, you’re a vessel to be cherished and protected. After the baby, you’re a lactation-oriented baby accessory.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“The physical and emotional challenges of work pale in comparison to the physical and emotional challenges of being an on-scene parent.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“We know being a parent means getting a lot of advice, but this advice is almost never accompanied by an explanation of why something is true or not, or to what degree we can even know it’s true. And by not explaining why, we remove people’s ability to think about these choices for themselves, with their own preferences playing a role. Parents are people, too, and they deserve better.”
― Emily Oster, Cribsheet: A Data-Driven Guide to Better, More Relaxed Parenting, from Birth to Preschool

“The strongest communities also teach their members how to improve internal health, including emotional and mental growth that cannot be learned from books or videos.”
― Charles H. Vogl, The Art of Community: Seven Principles for Belonging

“We are triggered not by their behavior, but by our own unresolved emotional issues.”
― Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: How to Raise Empowered, Resilient, and Conscious Children

“Our expectations are a disguise for our fears and unmet inner needs.”
― Shefali Tsabary, The Awakened Family: A Revolution in Parenting