Jim > Jim's Quotes

“Don't Panic.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Just because you're paranoid doesn't mean they aren't after you.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“We suffered for our art. You have to suffer for our art as well!”
― Terry Gilliam

“We accept the love we think we deserve.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

“The English and German words are almost identical: “tact” and “takt.” The cultural definitions, however, are about as similar as if they were “goose down” and “blitzkrieg.”
― Mil Millington, Things My Girlfriend and I Have Argued About

“Nothing was ever in tune. People just blindly grabbed at whatever there was: communism, health foods, zen, surfing, ballet, hypnotism, group encounters, orgies, biking, herbs, Catholicism, weight-lifting, travel, withdrawal, vegetarianism, India, painting, writing, sculpting, composing, conducting, backpacking, yoga, copulating, gambling, drinking, hanging around, frozen yogurt, Beethoven, Back, Buddha, Christ, TM, H, carrot juice, suicide, handmade suits, jet travel, New York City, and then it all evaporated and fell apart. People had to find things to do while waiting to die. I guess it was nice to have a choice.”
― Charles Bukowski, Women

“I jump over dead bodies, and in my mind flashes a thought: how quickly men become accustomed to things which, at one time, they would have found impossible to imagine.”
― Mansur Abdulin, Red Road from Stalingrad: Recollections of a Soviet Infantryman

“I'd thought I'd felt like shit that day, but really I'd barely even entered the intestine.”
― Mil Millington, A Certain Chemistry

“Why are they going to disappear him?'
I don't know.'
It doesn't make sense. It isn't even good grammar.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“Well, he died. You don't get any older than that.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“What do you do when it rains?"
The captain answered frankly. "I get wet.”
― Joseph Heller, Catch-22

“I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer”
― Douglas Adams

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“If you try and take a cat apart to see how it works, the first thing you have on your hands is a non-working cat.”
― Douglas Adams

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.”
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince and Other Stories

“Fairy tales are more than true: not because they tell us that dragons exist, but because they tell us that dragons can be beaten.”
― Neil Gaiman, Coraline

“All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
― Charles M. Schulz

“Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
― Charles Bukowski

“I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
― Charles M. Schulz

“Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
― Terry Johnson, Insignificance

“Some humans would do anything to see if it was possible to do it. If you put a large switch in some cave somewhere, with a sign on it saying 'End-of-the-World Switch. PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH', the paint wouldn't even have time to dry.”
― Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time

“Substitute 'damn' every time you're inclined to write 'very;' your editor will delete it and the writing will be just as it should be.”
― Mark Twain

“If you ever find yourself in the wrong story, leave.”
― Mo Willems, Goldilocks and the Three Dinosaurs

“The worst part of success is trying to find someone who is happy for you.”
― Bette Midler

“I don't know about you, but I practice a disorganized religion. I belong to an unholy disorder. We call ourselves "Our Lady of the Perpetual Astonishment”
― Kurt Vonnegut (Author)

“I want to stand as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center.”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Player Piano

“Here we are, trapped in the amber of the moment. There is no why.”
― Kurt Vonnegut

“For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much—the wheel, New York, wars and so on—whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man—for precisely the same reasons.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“I would die for you. But I won't live for you.”
― Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower