A.J. Lauer > A.J.'s Quotes

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#1

“The greatest impediment to women's liberation is dumb commercials.”
― Debora Geary, Matchmakers 2.0

9 likes

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#2

“Truth walks toward us on the paths of our questions...as soon as you think you have the answer, you have closed the path and may miss vital new information. Wait awhile in the stillness, and do not rush to conclusions, no matter how uncomfortable the unknowing.”
― Jacqueline Winspear, Maisie Dobbs

59 likes

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#3

“Well, sir. I look at facts. And the fact is that our world is dying and if we don't all do our best to save it, we aren't going to last much longer.”
― A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, environmentalism, science

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#4

“You are one of the unfortunate ones whose body decays rapidly in the face of radiation poisoning. You hang your head over the toilet to vomit again and again, and die praying to the porcelain gods.”
― A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, humor, poison, radiation, science, toilet

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#5

“Goodness, a girl steps out of the office for a couple days and the whole world ends!”
― A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, humor, office

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#6

“Zandy Brandy scented lotion - like the Normans, drunk and with soft hands!”
― A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, humor, lotion, normans

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#7

“You stumble upon an unhappy Martian sentry on a mission and shoot ineffectually at his powersuit a few times before he pulps you with his laserbeam eyes and hideous poisonous-gas breath. Glory!”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, glory, laserbeam, martian, science-fiction

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#8

“Deciding to spit in the eye of every homely matron who ever warned her children not to stare into the sun directly, you crank the titanic telescope around to look directly towards the sun, the center of our solar system.”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, matron, sun, telescope

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#9

“The front edge of the shockwave impacts the earth and you’re both shoved to your backs against the crumbling asphalt of the parking lot, and then crushed into oblivion as the Earth, along with every celestial body of your solar system, is disintegrated into tiny shards and then sucked unceremoniously into the resulting black hole.”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, black-hole, celestial-body, science-fiction

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#10

“They really need to cite their sources, you think to yourself, which would make your seventh-grade science teacher proud if only he knew.

It’s a moot point, however.”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, moot, science-teacher

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#11

“As the horde of ancient and mythical creatures impossibly descends upon you and dragonfire envelopes the land, you are forced to concede that it’s probably the very coolest way that you could die.”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, death, dragon

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#12

“YOUR LIFE HAS BEEN A MIX OF TRIUMPHS AND TOILS, CHALLENGES AND TESTS, AND YOU HAVE BEEN FOUND WORTHY. YOUR FAITH IN ME AND YOUR LOVING HEART ARE A TESTAMENT TO MY PEOPLE.

'Thank you, my God.'

COME, BE WITH ME. SIT WITH ME AT MY TABLE; JOIN ME IN RAPTURE. AND BRING YOUR CUTE FRIEND TOO.”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, cute-friend, god, rapture

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#13

“Oh, one more thing,' Thor calls out. 'If I know my prophecy, and I do, you beautiful ladies had best start looking for a boat!”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, mythology, prophecy, thor

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#14

“Sorry, there’s just not enough mead to go around.”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, dwarf, mead, mythology

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#15

“You cast a desperate look at Eric, who has not yet noticed that you’ve been bitten. Will I turn now? Am I becoming one of them? When Ghandi said, 'Be the change you want to see in the world,' I don’t think this is how he meant it.”
― A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, bite, change, ghandi, zombie

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#16

“You dial another college friend, Dr. Saunders, and she picks up almost immediately, 'Hi! Got a shitstorm here, what’s up?”
― A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, dial-a-friend, infection, shitstorm, zombie

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#17

“Your eyes meet and you immediately feel yourself shriveling under his gaze. He bears a scale in one hand and appears to be weighing your worth. Finding you wanting, the Horseman of Famine turns his dark steed and trots on.”
― Daniel Keidl, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, famine, found-wanting, horsemen-of-the-apocalypse

3 likes

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#18

“It doesn’t take long to realize you’ve made the wrong decision. You bump along with your eco-fueled ego in your eco-fueled vehicle and reuse every piece of plastic and glass you encounter, but it isn’t enough.”
― A.J. Lauer, Armageddon: Pick Your Plot

tags: armageddon, conservation, eco-fuel, recycling

6 likes

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#19

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure.”
― Paulo Coelho, The Alchemist

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Tags From A.J.’s Quotes

armageddon
environmentalism
science
humor
poison
radiation
toilet
office
lotion
normans
glory
laserbeam
martian
science-fiction
matron
sun
telescope
black-hole
celestial-body
moot
science-teacher
death
dragon
cute-friend
god
rapture
mythology
prophecy
thor
dwarf
mead
bite
change
ghandi
zombie
dial-a-friend
infection
shitstorm
famine
found-wanting
horsemen-of-the-apocalypse
conservation
eco-fuel
recycling