Abbey > Abbey's Quotes

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  • #1
    Mark Twain
    “Sanity and happiness are an impossible combination.”
    ― Mark Twain
    tags: happiness, sanity
    4456 likes

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  • #2
    Ralph Waldo Emerson
    “For every minute you are angry you lose sixty seconds of happiness.”
    ― Ralph Waldo Emerson
    tags: happiness
    32994 likes

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  • #3
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land
    tags: essential, happiness, love
    30827 likes

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  • #4
    “Time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.”
    ― Marthe Troly-Curtin, Phrynette Married
    tags: happiness, misattributed-john-lennon, procrastination, time
    21003 likes

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  • #5
    Abraham Lincoln
    “Folks are usually about as happy as they make their minds up to be.”
    ― Abraham Lincoln
    tags: attributed-no-source, happiness
    23764 likes

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  • #6
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148511 likes

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  • #7
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119192 likes

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  • #8
    Mark Twain
    “Never put off till tomorrow what may be done day after tomorrow just as well.”
    ― Mark Twain
    34475 likes

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  • #9
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35261 likes

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  • #10
    Douglas Adams
    “I love deadlines. I love the whooshing noise they make as they go by.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Salmon of Doubt: Hitchhiking the Galaxy One Last Time
    tags: deadlines, humor, humour, work, writing
    32151 likes

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  • #11
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30270 likes

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  • #12
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28807 likes

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  • #13
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24392 likes

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  • #14
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18673 likes

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  • #15
    Benjamin Franklin Wade
    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin Wade
    tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology
    19858 likes

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  • #16
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19799 likes

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  • #17
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13077 likes

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  • #18
    Charles Bukowski
    “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
    ― Charles Bukowski
    tags: humor
    22514 likes

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  • #19
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9770 likes

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  • #20
    Oscar Levant
    “There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.”
    ― Oscar Levant
    tags: genius, humor, insanity
    9903 likes

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  • #21
    J.K. Rowling
    “Do you remember me telling you we are practicing non-verbal spells, Potter?"
    "Yes," said Harry stiffly.
    "Yes, sir."
    "There's no need to call me "sir" Professor."
    The words had escaped him before he knew what he was saying.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince
    tags: humor, rebellion, sarcasm
    15170 likes

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  • #22
    George V. Higgins
    “This life’s hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid.”
    ― George V. Higgins, The Friends of Eddie Coyle
    tags: humor, life, misattributed-john-wayne
    11399 likes

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  • #23
    W.C. Fields
    “If at first you don't succeed, try, try again. Then quit. No use being a damn fool about it.”
    ― W.C. Fields
    7414 likes

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  • #24
    Woody Allen
    “I don't know the question, but sex is definitely the answer.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: humor, life, sex
    6556 likes

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  • #25
    Dr. Seuss
    “Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope.”
    ― Dr. Seuss
    6635 likes

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  • #26
    Winston S. Churchill
    “My tastes are simple: I am easily satisfied with the best.”
    ― Winston S. Churchill
    tags: humor, taste
    5973 likes

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  • #27
    Steven Wright
    “Right now I’m having amnesia and déjà vu at the same time. I think I’ve forgotten this before.”
    ― Steven Wright
    tags: amnesia, humor, memory
    4690 likes

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  • #28
    J.K. Rowling
    “You haven't got a letter on yours," George observed. "I suppose she thinks you don't forget your name. But we're not stupid-we know we're called Gred and Forge.”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone
    tags: humor
    5611 likes

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  • #29
    Laurence J. Peter
    “If a cluttered desk is a sign of a cluttered mind, of what, then, is an empty desk a sign?”
    ― Laurence J. Peter
    tags: misattributed-einstein
    8425 likes

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  • #30
    J.K. Rowling
    “Holey? You have the the whole world of ear-related humor before you, you go for holey?”
    ― J.K. Rowling, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows
    tags: humor
    4270 likes



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Tags From Abbey’s Quotes

happiness
sanity
essential
love
misattributed-john-lennon
procrastination
time
attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
life
obvious
simile
deadlines
humour
work
writing
religion
cats
women
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
misattributed-mark-twain
theology
insanity
lies
lying
self-indulgence
truth
creativity
misattributed-to-einstein
paraphrased
inspirational
genius
rebellion
sarcasm
misattributed-john-wayne
sex
taste
amnesia
memory
misattributed-einstein