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Ashley > Ashley's Quotes

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  • #1
    Albert Einstein
    “Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe.”
    ― Albert Einstein
    tags: attributed-no-source, human-nature, humor, infinity, philosophy, science, stupidity, universe
    148574 likes

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  • #2
    Mae West
    “You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
    ― Mae West
    tags: humor, life
    119239 likes

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  • #3
    Frank Zappa
    “So many books, so little time.”
    ― Frank Zappa
    tags: books, humor
    151841 likes

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  • #4
    “Insanity is doing the same thing, over and over again, but expecting different results.”
    ― Narcotics Anonymous
    tags: humor, insanity, life, misattributed-ben-franklin, misattributed-mark-twain, misattributed-to-einstein
    64715 likes

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  • #5
    Groucho Marx
    “Outside of a dog, a book is man's best friend. Inside of a dog it's too dark to read.”
    ― Groucho Marx, The Essential Groucho: Writings For By And About Groucho Marx
    tags: animals, books, dogs, friends, humor
    38005 likes

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  • #6
    Steve Martin
    “A day without sunshine is like, you know, night.”
    ― Steve Martin
    tags: humor, obvious, simile
    35264 likes

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  • #7
    Garrison Keillor
    “Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.”
    ― Garrison Keillor
    tags: humor, religion
    30274 likes

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  • #8
    Jim Henson
    “Beauty is in the eye of the beholder and it may be necessary from time to time to give a stupid or misinformed beholder a black eye.”
    ― Jim Henson
    26435 likes

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  • #9
    “Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
    ― Paul Terry
    tags: exercise, humor, laziness, misattributed-to-hutchins
    24399 likes

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  • #10
    Robert A. Heinlein
    “Women and cats will do as they please, and men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.”
    ― Robert A. Heinlein
    tags: cats, humor, women
    28818 likes

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  • #11
    Charles M. Schulz
    “All you need is love. But a little chocolate now and then doesn't hurt.”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: chocolate, food, humor
    26813 likes

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  • #12
    Woody Allen
    “I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.”
    ― Woody Allen
    tags: death, fear, humor, life
    25656 likes

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  • #13
    Charles J. Sykes
    “Be nice to nerds. You may end up working for them. We all could.”
    ― Charles J. Sykes, Dumbing Down Our Kids: Why American Children Feel Good About Themselves But Can't Read, Write or Add
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-bill-gates, nerd, nerds, work
    15552 likes

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  • #14
    I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!
    “I love mankind ... it's people I can't stand!!”
    ― Charles M. Schulz
    tags: humor, mankind, people
    18554 likes

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  • #15
    Alexandre Dumas fils
    “The difference between genius and stupidity is: genius has its limits.”
    ― Alexandre Dumas-fils
    tags: misattributed-to-einstein
    21527 likes

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  • #16
    Terry Pratchett
    “The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it.”
    ― Terry Pratchett, Diggers
    tags: humor, open-mind, thinking
    21443 likes

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  • #17
    Groucho Marx
    “I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book.”
    ― Groucho Marx
    tags: books, humor, reading, television
    23109 likes

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  • #18
    Douglas Adams
    “The story so far:
    In the beginning the Universe was created.
    This has made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.”
    ― Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
    tags: humor, scifi
    23473 likes

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  • #19
    Bill Watterson
    “Reality continues to ruin my life.”
    ― Bill Watterson, The Complete Calvin and Hobbes
    tags: calvin-and-hobbes, humor, life
    21209 likes

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  • #20
    W.C. Fields
    “I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally. ”
    ― W.C. Fields
    18673 likes

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  • #21
    Benjamin Franklin Wade
    “Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.”
    ― Benjamin Franklin Wade
    tags: humor, misattributed-mark-twain, philosophy, theology
    19866 likes

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  • #22
    Rita Mae Brown
    “The statistics on sanity are that one out of every four people is suffering from a mental illness. Look at your 3 best friends. If they're ok, then it's you.”
    ― Rita Mae Brown
    tags: humor, insanity
    12674 likes

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  • #23
    George Carlin
    “The reason I talk to myself is because I’m the only one whose answers I accept.”
    ― George Carlin
    tags: humor, insanity, lies, lying, self-indulgence, truth
    19802 likes

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  • #24
    Markus Herz
    “Be careful about reading health books. Some fine day you'll die of a misprint.”
    ― Markus Herz
    tags: books, health, humor, misattributed-mark-twain, misprints
    13740 likes

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  • #25
    “Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?”
    ― Terry Johnson, Insignificance
    tags: humor, misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe, philosophy
    13819 likes

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  • #26
    C.E.M. Joad
    “Creativity is knowing how to hide your sources”
    ― C.E.M. Joad
    tags: creativity, humor, misattributed-to-einstein, paraphrased
    13078 likes

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  • #27
    John Green
    “Saying 'I notice you're a nerd' is like saying, 'Hey, I notice that you'd rather be intelligent than be stupid, that you'd rather be thoughtful than be vapid, that you believe that there are things that matter more than the arrest record of Lindsay Lohan. Why is that?' In fact, it seems to me that most contemporary insults are pretty lame. Even 'lame' is kind of lame. Saying 'You're lame' is like saying 'You walk with a limp.' Yeah, whatever, so does 50 Cent, and he's done all right for himself.”
    ― John Green
    tags: humor, nerdfighters
    21601 likes

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  • #28
    Charles Bukowski
    “Some people never go crazy. What truly horrible lives they must lead.”
    ― Charles Bukowski
    tags: humor
    22526 likes

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  • #29
    Thomas Szasz
    “Two wrongs don't make a right, but they make a good excuse.”
    ― Thomas Szasz
    tags: humor, inspirational
    9770 likes

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  • #30
    Chuck Palahniuk
    “All God does is watch us and kill us when we get boring. We must never, ever be boring.”
    ― Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters
    tags: god, humor, life
    11624 likes



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Tags From Ashley’s Quotes

attributed-no-source
human-nature
humor
infinity
philosophy
science
stupidity
universe
life
books
insanity
misattributed-ben-franklin
misattributed-mark-twain
misattributed-to-einstein
animals
dogs
friends
obvious
simile
religion
exercise
laziness
misattributed-to-hutchins
cats
women
chocolate
food
death
fear
misattributed-to-bill-gates
nerd
nerds
work
mankind
people
open-mind
thinking
reading
television
scifi
calvin-and-hobbes
theology
lies
lying
self-indulgence
truth
health
misprints
misattributed-to-marilyn-monroe
creativity
paraphrased
nerdfighters
inspirational
god