Zetta > Zetta's Quotes

“On November 18 of alternate years Mr Earbrass begins writing 'his new novel'. Weeks ago he chose its title at random from a list of them he keeps in a little green note-book. It being tea-time of the 17th, he is alarmed not to have thought of a plot to which The Unstrung Harp might apply.”
― Edward Gorey, The Unstrung Harp

“I watched her perform on the Grammys and she totally sucked. The song 'All I Want to Do is Have Some Fun' sucks and when she walked out of that place with all those Grammies I knew I was going to give mine away. I did. If they're giving them away for crap, I don't want one in my place. What an insult to real music and musicians everywhere.”
― Henry Rollins, Smile, You're Traveling

“As good as' always spells mediocrity. But when a writer's work is in competition with all those thousands of other manuscripts that pour over an editor's desk, he cannot afford to be 'as good as'; he (or she) must be 'better than.”
― Phyllis A. Whitney, Guide to Fiction Writing

“And don't trouble yourself too much if you don't laugh at what you are about to read, for if you perk up your pink little ear, you may hear the silvery tinkling of merriment in the air, far, far away . . . . It's us, buster. Ching!”
― Harvard Lampoon, Bored of the Rings: A Parody of J.R.R. Tolkien's Lord of the Rings

“Agatha Christie n. A silent, putrid fart committed by someone in this very room, and only one person knows whodunnit.”
― VIZ, Roger's Profanisaurus: The Magna Farta.

“corgi 1. n. A high class hound, such as those that accompany the Queen. 2. n. A high class hound, such as the one that accompanies Prince Charles.”
― VIZ, Roger's Profanisaurus: The Magna Farta.

“So many books, so little time.”
― Frank Zappa

“Life is what happens to us while we are making other plans.”
― Allen Saunders

“You only live once, but if you do it right, once is enough.”
― Mae West

“His pursuer was closing in. Audible footsteps sent frantic signals down his spine to his feet by way of his bowels. The call was to run, and if the feet didn't, the bowels would.”
― Tony McGuin, Ordinary World

“Sooner or later Cleofes is gonna get it.”
― John Nichols, The Milagro Beanfield War

“It was in this pub he'd learnt that, contrary to the belief of the majority of those laying bets, it is possible to flatten a hundred frogs with a hammer in less than thirty seconds. In short, it was a pub with a reputation. And very slimy walls.”
― Tony McGuin, Ordinary World

“In an old house in Paris that was covered with vines
Lived twelve little girls in two straight lines
In two straight lines they broke their bread
And brushed their teeth and went to bed.
They left the house at half past nine
In two straight lines in rain or shine-
The smallest one was Madeline.”
― Ludwig Bemelmans, Madeline

“tisn'ts n. Very small, practically non-existent breasts.”
― VIZ, Roger's Profanisaurus: The Magna Farta.

“I got a PBS mind in a reality TV world.”
― Zetta Brown

“A good story is a good story no matter who wrote it.”
― Anne McCaffrey

“Hair by Toni & Guy. Personality by Ronald McDonald”
― Stephen Kelman, Pigeon English

“I'm very polite by nature, even the voices in my head let each other finish their sentences.”
― Graham Parke, Unspent Time