David > David's Quotes

“It can be very dangerous to see things from somebody else's point of view without the proper training.”
― Douglas Adams, Mostly Harmless

“Dwarfs were not a naturally religious species, but in a world where pit props could crack without warning and pockets of fire damp could suddenly explode they'd seen the need for gods as the sort of supernatural equivalent of a hard hat. Besides, when you hit your thumb with an eight-pound hammer it's nice to be able to blaspheme. It takes a very special and strong-minded kind of atheist to jump up and down with their hand clasped under their other armpit and shout, "Oh, random-fluctuations-in-the-space-time-continuum!" or "Aaargh, primitive-and-outmoded-concept on a crutch!”
― Terry Pratchett, Men at Arms

“Stupidity isn't punishable by death. If it was, there would be a hell of a population drop.”
― Laurell K. Hamilton, The Laughing Corpse

“In politics, stupidity is not a handicap.”
― Napoleon Bonaparte

“Well, you know Esme. She wasn't one for that kind of thing - never one to push herself forward*

* She hadn't ever needed to. Granny Weatherwax was like the prow of a ship. Seas parted when she turned up.”
― Terry Pratchett, The Shepherd's Crown

“And when did the catastrophe occur?’ ‘Three years later, in two thousand and twenty-five.’ ‘In what”
― Robert Harris, The Second Sleep

“bench all down one wall contained a selection of glassware apparently created by a drunken glassblower with hiccups,”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

“jungle in which every representative of the vegetable kingdom had really rolled up its bark and got down to the strenuous business of outgrowing all competitors”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

“It’s what you get when there’s nothing left and everything’s been used up.” “Yes. I think it’s called the bill,” said Eric. Rincewind gave this some thought. It sounded about right. “Okay,” he said. “The bill. That’s where we are. Floating in absolute bill. Total, complete, rock-hard bill.” *”
― Terry Pratchett, Eric

“Cyber Leader: Daleks, be warned. You have declared war upon the Cybermen.
Dalek Sec: This is not war - this is pest control!
Cyber Leader: We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?
Dalek Sec: Four.
Cyber Leader: You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?
Dalek Sec: We would destroy the Cybermen with one Dalek! You superior in only one respect.
Cyber Leader: What is that?
Dalek Sec: You are better at dying.”
― Russell T. Davies

“Dalek: I will talk to the Doctor.
The Doctor: Oh will you? That's nice. Hello!
Dalek: The Dalek strategem nears completion. The fleet is almost ready. You will not intervene.
The Doctor: Oh really? Why's that, then?
Dalek: We have your associate. You will obey or she will be exterminated.
The Doctor: No.
Dalek: Explain yourself.
The Doctor: I said, "No."
Dalek: What is the meaning of this negative?
The Doctor: It means, "No."
Dalek: But she will be destroyed!
The Doctor: No! 'Cause this is what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna rescue her. I'm gonna save Rose Tyler from the middle of the Dalek fleet, and then I'm gonna save the Earth. And then—just to finish off—I'm gonna wipe every last stinking Dalek out of the sky!
Dalek: But you have no weapons, no defenses, no plan.
The Doctor: Yeah! And doesn't that scare you to death? Rose?
Rose: Yes, Doctor?
The Doctor: I'm coming to get you.”
― Russell T. Davies

“Space is big. You just won't believe how vastly, hugely, mind-bogglingly big it is. I mean, you may think it's a long way down the road to the chemist's, but that's just peanuts to space.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“Time is an illusion. Lunchtime doubly so.”
― Douglas Adams, The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy

“The Sam Vimes "Boots" Theory of Economic Injustice runs thus:
At the time of Men at Arms, Samuel Vimes earned thirty-eight dollars a month as a Captain of the Watch, plus allowances. A really good pair of leather boots, the sort that would last years and years, cost fifty dollars. This was beyond his pocket and the most he could hope for was an affordable pair of boots costing ten dollars, which might with luck last a year or so before he would need to resort to makeshift cardboard insoles so as to prolong the moment of shelling out another ten dollars.
Therefore over a period of ten years, he might have paid out a hundred dollars on boots, twice as much as the man who could afford fifty dollars up front ten years before. And he would still have wet feet.
Without any special rancour, Vimes stretched this theory to explain why Sybil Ramkin lived twice as comfortably as he did by spending about half as much every month.”
― Terry Pratchett, Night Watch