Quotes - William (Washington, DC) Showing 1-30 of 33

#1

“This is not a novel to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.”
― Sid Ziff

tags: bad-reviews, book, humorist, misattributed-dorothy-parker, wit

1617 likes

#2

“I don't know much about being a millionaire, but I'll bet I'd be darling at it.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor

1262 likes

#3

“Résumé
Razors pain you,
Rivers are damp,
Acids stain you,
And drugs cause cramp.
Guns aren't lawful,
Nooses give,
Gas smells awful.
You might as well live.”
― Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope

tags: dark-humor, humor, suicide

2228 likes

#4

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: disapproval, humor, wordplay

1426 likes

#5

“Heterosexuality is not normal, it's just common.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: dorothy-parker, heterosexuality, homosexuality, humor, wit

1631 likes

#6

“I hate writing, I love having written.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: writing, writing-process

1545 likes

#7

“That would be a good thing for them to cut on my tombstone: Wherever she went, including here, it was against her better judgment.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: epitaph, humor, the-new-yorker

852 likes

#8

“This wasn't just plain terrible, this was fancy terrible. This was terrible with raisins in it."

[Women Know Everything!]”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: bad-reviews, fancy, raisins, terrible, wordplay

743 likes

#9

“That woman speaks eighteen languages, and can't say 'No' in any of them.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

626 likes

#10

“Constant use had not worn ragged the fabric of their friendship.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: friendship

530 likes

#11

“If you wear a short enough skirt, the party will come to you.”
― Dorothy Parker

425 likes

#12

“I'm never going to accomplish anything; that's perfectly clear to me. I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do anything. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more.”
― Dorothy Parker, Here Lies: The Collected Stories of Dorothy Parker

362 likes

#13

“There's a hell of a distance between wise-cracking and wit. Wit has truth in it; wise-cracking is simply calisthenics with words.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor, the-paris-review, wisecracks, wit

373 likes

#14

“Drink and dance and laugh and lie,
Love, the reeling midnight through,
For tomorrow we shall die!
(But, alas, we never do.)”
― Dorothy Parker, Death and Taxes

tags: the-flaw-in-paganism

321 likes

#15

“A little bad taste is like a nice dash of paprika.”
― Dorothy Parker

225 likes

#16

“His voice was as intimate as the rustle of sheets.”
― Dorothy Parker

203 likes

#17

“If all the girls attending [the Yale prom] were laid end to end, I wouldn't be at all surprised.”
― Dorothy Parker, While Rome Burns

tags: classic-insult, harvard, humor, innuendo, naughty, yale

171 likes

#18

“Oh, life is a glorious cycle of song,
a medley of extemporanea,
And love is a thing that can never go wrong,
and I am Marie of Romania.”
― Dorothy Parker, Enough Rope

tags: irony

174 likes

#19

“Every year, back comes Spring, with nasty little birds yapping their fool heads off and the ground all mucked up with plants.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: spring-humor

146 likes

#20

“When I was young and bold and strong,
The right was right, the wrong was wrong.
With plume on high and flag unfurled,
I rode away to right the world.
But now I’m old - and good and bad,
Are woven in a crazy plaid.
I sit and say the world is so,
And wise is s/he who lets it go.”
― Dorothy Parker

194 likes

#21

“She runs the gamut of emotions from A to B.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: bad-reviews

171 likes

#22

“You can't teach an old dogma new tricks.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Algonquin Wits

tags: attributed-no-source

184 likes

#23

“Q: What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

A: You can't hear an enzyme.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: double-entendre, hormone, innuendo, naughty, riddle

227 likes

#24

“The two most beautiful words in the English language are 'check enclosed.”
― Dorothy Parker

tags: humor, money

147 likes

#25

“I know this will come as a shock to you, Mr. Goldwyn, but in all history, which has held billions and billions of human beings, not a single one ever had a happy ending.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

119 likes

#26

“All I need is room enough to lay a hat and a few friends. ”
― Dorothy Parker

104 likes

#27

“Mrs. Ewing was a short woman who accepted the obligation borne by so many short women to make up in vivacity what they lack in number of inches from the ground.”
― Dorothy Parker, Men, Women and Dogs

86 likes

#28

“Her big heart did not, as is so sadly often the case, inhabit a big bosom.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

112 likes

#29

“It turns out that, at social gatherings, as a source of entertainment, conviviality, and good fun, I rank somewhere between a sprig of parsley and a single ice-skate.”
― Dorothy Parker

91 likes

#30

“There's life for you. Spend the best years of your life studying penmanship and rhetoric and syntax and Beowulf and George Eliot, and then somebody steals your pencil.”
― Dorothy Parker, The Portable Dorothy Parker

tags: writing

109 likes

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