Ed > Ed's Quotes

“I've begun worshipping the sun for a number of reasons. First of all, unlike some other gods I could mention, I can see the sun. It's there for me every day. And the things it brings me are quite apparent all the time: heat, light, food, and a lovely day. There's no mystery, no one asks for money, I don't have to dress up, and there's no boring pageantry. And interestingly enough, I have found that the prayers I offer to the sun and the prayers I formerly offered to 'God' are all answered at about the same 50% rate.”
― George Carlin, Brain Droppings

“And so it goes...”
― Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five

“I don't got to show you no stinkin' bahdges!”
― John Huston

“Life is tough, then you die.”
― George Carlin

“belief is the death of intelligence.”
― Robert Anton Wilson, Cosmic Trigger: Die letzten Geheimnisse der Illuminaten oder An den Grenzen des erweiterten Bewusstseins

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to reform (or pause and reflect).”
― Mark Twain

“Atheism is a non-prophet organization.”
― George Carlin

“If it’s true that our species is alone in the universe, then I’d have to say the universe aimed rather low and settled for very little.”
― George Carlin, Napalm & Silly Putty

“People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that's what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person who shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life.

A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then leave.

A soul mates purpose is to shake you up, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light can get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you have to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master...”
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love

“You can do everything right, strictly according to procedure, on the ocean, and it'll still kill you, but if you're a good navigator, at least you'll know where you were when you died.

(In "The Nautical Chart" by Arturo Perez-Reverte)”
― Justin Scott, The Shipkiller

“Whenever I feel the need to exercise, I lie down until it goes away.”
― Paul Terry

“To the end of history, social orders will probably destroy themselves in an effort to prove they are indestructible.”
― Reinhold Niebuhr, Beyond Tragedy: Essays on the Christian Interpretation of History

“I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.”
― Thomas Jefferson

“No one in this world, so far as I know—and I have searched the record for years, and employed agents to help me—has ever lost money by underestimating the intelligence of the great masses of the plain people.”
― H.L. Mencken, The Gist of Mencken: Quotations from America's Critic

“Historian: an unsuccessful novelist.”
― H.L. Mencken

“All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it.”
― H. L. Mencken

“I know some who are constantly drunk on books as other men are drunk on whiskey.”
― H.L. Mencken

“Misogynist: A man who hates women as much as women hate one another.”
― H.L. Mencken

“Lawyer: one who protects us against robbery by taking away the temptation.”
― H. L. Mencken

“Don’t overestimate the decency of the human race.”
― H. L. Mencken

“Puritanism: The haunting fear that someone, somewhere, may be happy.”
― H.L. Mencken, A Mencken Chrestomathy

“Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die,
your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck. ”
― George Carlin

“I disapprove of what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it.”
― S.G. Tallentyre, The Friends of Voltaire

“In less than a year, the Bush administration will strut out of office, leaving the country in roughly the same condition a toddler leaves a diaper.”
― Graydon Carter

“They who can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety.”
― Benjamin Franklin, Memoirs of the life & writings of Benjamin Franklin

“Absolute faith corrupts as absolutely as absolute power.”
― Eric Hoffer

“The Jews are a peculiar people: Things permitted to other nations are forbidden to the Jews.

Other nations drive out thousands, even millions of people, and there is no refugee problem. Russia did it. Poland and Czechoslovakia did it. Turkey threw out a million Greeks and Algeria a million Frenchmen. Indonesia threw out heaven knows how many Chinese--and no one says a word about refugees.

But in the case of Israel, the displaced Arabs have become eternal refugees. Everyone insists that Israel must take back every single Arab. Arnold Toynbee calls the displacement of the Arabs an atrocity greater than any committed by the Nazis. Other nations when victorious on the battlefield dictate peace terms. But when Israel is victorious it must sue for peace.

Everyone expects the Jews to be the only real Christians in this world.”
― Eric Hoffer

“Nonconformists travel as a rule in bunches. You rarely find a nonconformist who goes it alone. And woe to him inside a nonconformist clique who does not conform with nonconformity.”
― Eric Hoffer

“We lie the loudest when we lie to ourselves.”
― Eric Hoffer

“Far more crucial than what we know or do not know is what we do not want to know.”
― Eric Hoffer