Nour answers “Can someone please explain the...”

Elizabeth asked this question about Jeremy Poldark (Poldark, #3):

Can someone please explain the (unexplained) shift in Ross and Demelza's relationship??? The author doesn't give any evidence for why and when this happens. And don't say it was the betrayal - I got that already, but they are strong together after that, so what happens?

Nour I think the change in the relationship between Ross and Demelza is due to the change in Demelza herself! Remember that Demelza at the beginning of the…moreI think the change in the relationship between Ross and Demelza is due to the change in Demelza herself! Remember that Demelza at the beginning of their marriage. She was full of life. She was more like her child-self. She was innocent and curious and playful. You couldn’t be around her and be miserable. And so her happiness was contagious and Ross couldn’t help but be happy!
After that, life faced Demelza with situations in which she felt she had to act, precisely starting with her knowing that verity is prevented from being with the person she fell in love with. Nagging to Ross to do something was the solution approach driven by the child-like nature of Demelza. But when that failed, she acquired a new trait. From this point, Demelza learned how to plot and scheme (of course with good intentions). And what she did had a series of consequences. And since then she had to be wise, strong, and even more skillful in plotting to be able to face all of that and fix everything. So now, she has become a more of an adult than a child. She kept wanting the old state of happiness she had at the beginning of their marriage. But she couldn’t get it. Because to get it she had to undo everything that happened, undo everything that changed in her and be the child-like Demelza once again. Something that she couldn’t even do if she wanted to. Now her default mood is worry, and her first instinct is to hide things from Ross and think and act on her own. The problem is that he feels it, and that makes him somehow restless, hurt, undignified and distant. This is what I think is the cause of the change between Ross and Demelza because I myself miss the old Demelza.
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