December Knight answers “Can someone please explain the...”

Elizabeth asked this question about Jeremy Poldark (Poldark, #3):

Can someone please explain the (unexplained) shift in Ross and Demelza's relationship??? The author doesn't give any evidence for why and when this happens. And don't say it was the betrayal - I got that already, but they are strong together after that, so what happens?

December Knight I know this is an old question, however I can't help but weight in. From what I've read so far between the first 3 books there is natural growth in re…moreI know this is an old question, however I can't help but weight in. From what I've read so far between the first 3 books there is natural growth in relationship between Ross and Demelza, not all these turns appealing to them or to me. It is a kind of end to the honeymoon period as it were, and all the happy things that come when there aren't heavy trails in your life. It is a removal of a mask that is easy to maintain in better times to allow each other to see the others, for lack of a better way of saying it, worse self. That part of people can be hard to live with and difficult to understand. It also tests a relationships tinsel strength.

At the end of Demelza they never really dealt with their argument and everything that fell out with Francis and all that mess. One could suggest that they just moved past it with Demelza's declaration at the end of the former book. That is not necessarily a healthy way to get over it, at least when looking at human nature. Ross wasn’t left with much time to do so, and his and his cousins’ relationship is an example of that strain still being present. And whether people like it or not an argument that leads to months of stewing isn’t just easily disposed of, not when all the pain is accounted for.

You mentioned that their relationship got better but it didn’t have time to do so in Demelza, and when we get to Jeremy Poldark too much is going on to properly recover anything from that final confronting of the subject.

Also, tragedy often brings out interesting traits in people. Looking at the pain of the court case, the loss their daughter, Ross and his general selfish way of reacting to things. He couldn't even see his part in what happened with Francis. He first gave a place to Verity to meet her lover, in Ross Poldark, which is what cast the original doubt which led to Francis, as irritatingly self-willed and spiteful as Ross, telling about the shareholder. He was part of that. Ross doesn’t seem to often see his own flaws, at least not in regard to these things.

I believe that the shift you saw was the natural shift as you begin to learn about someone at a higher level. This is the growing together or growing apart of two people who decided to intertwine their lives together.

I don’t know if this helped or if you are even still looking for an answer for this, but I hope it did a little :) Also, I don’t want anyone to think I don’t like the story because I say these things. I really do.(less)

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