Jessica Martin
asked:
Would this be a good book for one of my friends who is suicidal? She is 15 years old? Please advise!! Jessica
To answer questions about
Thirteen Reasons Why,
please sign up.
Jessica Ralph
NOO! I had severe depression, anxiety, and paranoia when I first decided to read it. I thought, like I'm sure you are right now, that by having her read it she will realize she is not the only one going through things like this. However, AND I CANNOT MAKE THIS CLEAR ENOUGH, this will in NO WAY help her. Reading about a successful suicide will only push her further to the edge and reading the book in general with its negative connotation and emphasis on depression will only make it validate her depression even more. She will also feel that help is not possible, seeing as when Hannah asked for help she did not receive any, your friend will be detoured even further from asking. If you still think it might be helpful, I agree with one of the earlier comments by a user "Em", read it together and make sure she understands that this is one of the worst possible scenarios and let her know that you are there for her at all times to talk about anything. Primarily, you should advise an adult about the situation to ensure your friends safety, depending on how far gone she is, a book will not help to bring her back from where she is at. I hope everything works out, honestly.
Melanie
I would be cautious about giving this book to someone who is definitely suicidal. Hannah feels hopeless, blames others for ignoring her need for help while failing to actively ask for it, and discusses options for suicide. Although Clay gives his perspective and reactions to what she says, if your friend is in a dark place, she might only pay attention to the parts that reinforce what she is already feeling. (I say this as a person who has experience with depression.)
If you decide to give it to her, please read it together and keep an open conversation about what`s happening. And most importantly, help her get connected to people who can help her like http://www.thehopeline.com/ and 1-800-SUICIDE.
If you decide to give it to her, please read it together and keep an open conversation about what`s happening. And most importantly, help her get connected to people who can help her like http://www.thehopeline.com/ and 1-800-SUICIDE.
Alexandra
No. This book glamorizes and normalizes suicide. Definitely NOT a resource for someone suicidal.
Joan Walker
I know I'm late in replying, but a better book is Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman. It proves that suicide is not the answer. The author almost takes her own life due to her current circumstances, but instead finds her purpose in this world. It will give your friend hope that things do get better.
Sara Elena Geraldine Ray
Yes I would think. I personally struggle with depression and this book made me realize that I can talk to people about what I am going through, that I don't have to go through it alone.
Ashley Petersen
I think it depends. I read it during a period of depression and I loved it and felt less alone. But it also could prove harmful. The thing is, she knows people end up "successfully" commiting suicide. And a book is not likely to push someone over the edge and has a better chance of helping. However if she thinks she may want to read it, you should talk with her about the book. Also, is she getting help? If not, please talk to her parents. Tell them. Better to lose a friend then to end up visiting their grave.
Rene
No, not at all. This book in no way will help her relate. The girl in this story has no signs that she would commit suicide anyway.
Molly W.
No, this is not a book that someone who is suicidal should read. This could be triggering and will in know way help her overcome her suicidal thoughts.
Holli
The Last Time We Say Goodbye by Cynthia Hand is a good novel for your friend. I read it while contemplating suicide. It is told from the perspective of a sister dealing with her brother's suicide.
It really helped me to see how my actions would effect all the people around me. The people I love and how they would never get over it. How, by my actions, I could make someone as sad as I am. I would never do that.
In our sadness we overlook things. We can't see other's pain. We don't see that things could EVER get better. That is how depression works.
Please point out that suicide doesn't always work. Then someone may have to live with a damaged body forever. That stopped me. I didn't need my health to be worse.
Whatever u do, do NOT say what is happening to her is no big deal. It is to her! All u can do is listen. It means so much and she will remember it forver.
I hope all is well. Please send me a private message ifyou need help. Advice or answers. Or tell her to write me.
It really helped me to see how my actions would effect all the people around me. The people I love and how they would never get over it. How, by my actions, I could make someone as sad as I am. I would never do that.
In our sadness we overlook things. We can't see other's pain. We don't see that things could EVER get better. That is how depression works.
Please point out that suicide doesn't always work. Then someone may have to live with a damaged body forever. That stopped me. I didn't need my health to be worse.
Whatever u do, do NOT say what is happening to her is no big deal. It is to her! All u can do is listen. It means so much and she will remember it forver.
I hope all is well. Please send me a private message ifyou need help. Advice or answers. Or tell her to write me.
Christine
No. Even though I consider myself to be past my days when I considered suicide, reading this book (especially the parts when Hannah talks about the different ways she considered killing herself) brought back A LOT of dark thoughts that I thought were hidden away. Letting a suicidal person read this book might make them feel things like: Hannah never got anyone who cared about her, and neither can I. or: Hannah went through with it successfully...I can too. I'm not saying ALL suicidal people would get that reaction, but it's definitely possible (speaking just from the thoughts I had from reading it).
Rather, I advise that you approach your friend and just talk to her. Let her open up to you. Show her that you are there and that you care about her. Most suicidal people want people to pick up on the signs and just HELP. If you don't feel like you can help, point her to people who can.
Rather, I advise that you approach your friend and just talk to her. Let her open up to you. Show her that you are there and that you care about her. Most suicidal people want people to pick up on the signs and just HELP. If you don't feel like you can help, point her to people who can.
Nic Phillips
I'd lean toward a more uplifting book like "All the Bright Places".
Also, you should tell someone about your friend, not just recommend a book to her.
Also, you should tell someone about your friend, not just recommend a book to her.
bridgidthepirateelf
I read this book for school. I have been dealing with depression since I was six. Reading this showed me I'm not alone. And it showed me that my depression isn't just hurting me, that it is hurting other people. It saved me from killing myself because it made me think about how that would hurt my family a friends. It told me to go seek help. Now I'm on medication and I'm a bit better.
Jennifer Hicks
No. this is for mentally stable persons who have possible delt with the loss of someone and or been in the past depressed it gets grafic and disturbing. I was struggling with my own mental health durring my read of this book. I had to put it down several times to gather myself. I related to how she the character was feeling however as an adult I know where to go for help. 18665732879 is the national susisde pervention 24/7 hotline if your friend feels unsafe. You can call as well if your concerned for your friends saftey. I think this should have been included in the book in the beginning.
Lu Michelini
Yes. I read this book for the first time when I was having suicidal thoughts myself. It was the worst period of my life and, while I didn't go to a psychologist to get a diagnostic, I am absolutely sure I was suffering from severe depression. My friend gave this book to me as a gift when he came back from a trip to another country. He didn't say anything specific related to it, he just said he thought I might like it. Thinking back, he may have noticed some of the signs and saved my life, because this book changed my life. If it wasn't for it, perhaps I wouldn't be sitting here writing this review. At the time, I was in high school, just like Hannah. Right now I'm 23 and I couldn't be happier. I've read this book over and over again, but it has been a few years since the latest time, and so I'm reading it again (I'm at the middle right now). So let me tell you what went through my head at the time: I didn't hate Hannah for even a second. And while I didn't go through the same things, but similar ones, I understood her completely. But the character that changed my life was not Hannah. Hannah couldn't move one with her life. She gave up. Clay changed my life. Clay showed me that somewhere, someone might care about me - and not even in a romantic way. Just in a way that is worth living for. Clay showed me that Hannah gave up before she could see that he was there for her. And more than that, Hannah herself showed me that there are always people who love you and little pieces of encouragement to look for. So I would definitely recommend this.
T.ScottReviews
I have been suicidal in the past and I loved how this book acknowledged that it's usually lots of little things that drive someone to consider or attempt suicide rather than one big things so in that way I found it beneficial but I'd be wary as there's a lot of things covered in the book that could be triggering to someone who is still suicidal.
Faye
No, let her read about people who fight or at least try to fight, or comedy stuffs. This book might make a 15 y/o think that what Hannah did was right to do this suicide and pass on tapes. That's so wrong.
MRN
I think this book is more for people around the suicidal. I can definitely relate to a lot of thing Hannah went through in the book.
Jeff
I completely agree with Jessica Ralph. Unfortunately, although this book does have a powerful message, it's for the rest of us. The people who surround those with suicidal thoughts and tendencies. So, Jessica Martin, I believe you should read it so you can help him/her. I'm sure you're not doing anything like the characters in the book, but who knows?-- I just realized this comment is from two years ago. I hope your friend is still with us and doing better. --All the best, Jeff
David Egderpfukinstrider
Actually, responding to the Jessica Ralph girl, I would recommend this for your friend. When I met the author last year he mentioned how so many people recommended it to their friends who were dealing with that and they said that it helped them a lot! And also, 'reading about a successful suicide will only push her further' haven't you ever learned about suicide? It won't push her, it will help her understand there is a problem.
Grace
Absolutely not. Just trust me.
Nathan Cho
NOO!!!!!!!!Not at all
Mybussywroteathesisoncolonialism
if you want her to die that badly i guess go ahead
Sam
No I have those issues and it made my healing process hard I advise NO.
Angela Kimball
No, although it does not appear to condone suicide, it's probably not a good choice for someone in that place. Then again, I know it has helped some people. Others, however, have struggled more because of it. It will hit different people in different ways. Still want to recommend them books? Self help and inspirational titles would be better. But better than any of that, they have a friend that they've gone to for help.
You may not be able to make it better or worse, but you can be there, and I promise that's worth more than anything. Just still being there. To talk. To hang out without talking. To check in on her. What you're already doing is a big deal.
You may not be able to make it better or worse, but you can be there, and I promise that's worth more than anything. Just still being there. To talk. To hang out without talking. To check in on her. What you're already doing is a big deal.
Mikanviola
noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo do NOT
Aura Sweet
This is super late, but for anyone curious, no. Absolutely do not give this book to someone who is suicidal at the time of being given it. I read the book in the eighth grade when I was in a very very dark place myself, and it really didn't help my mental state. Looking back now, I think it actually exacerbated my depression and suicidal thoughts at that time. So just, please, don't do that to your friend.
Sayre
Nah. Would recommend nonfiction, most fiction about depression/suicide just drags you deeper (sometimes it can make you feel solidarity, but this depends on the book and the person - I felt solidarity with the protagonist of The Vegetarian by Han Kang, but others might find it too grim). Anyway if it's solidarity they're looking for it's best to let them choose a book that speaks to them.
Directing them to the "self-help" section would be better... find something that can help them get themselves feeling more confident or helping them work through issues instead of glamorizing or wallowing in despair.
Directing them to the "self-help" section would be better... find something that can help them get themselves feeling more confident or helping them work through issues instead of glamorizing or wallowing in despair.
Emily
I feel like this book is, but isn't one to give to a suicidal person. One it make them aware that if they kill them selfs than they will hurt all kinds of people, people will be in pain so they will not want to do it if it will hurt people especially their loved ones. But on the other hand they might not even care if they hurt people so... its a debating situation, but it also depends on why they are suicidal and how far do they go with the situation. next year I should be a freshman, and I know people say that this isn't a good book for a suicidal or depressed person, well if I go by my own experience I disagree with that statement, I have severe bi poler depression and anxiety and this helped me realize that if I were to disappear it would not help, because I would hurt so many people and I would rather not hurt my loved ones. So my concluding answer is yes, I would let her read it, but tell her to only read it in front of people, like in public.
Raquel
No you shouldn't give this book to your friend.
TxToast
No no no NO!!! I am a seventh grader who although I have never read the book, it has severely affected my life. Last year, a loose friend of mine who had depression but did not seem suicidal read it and committed suicide. Honestly, I don’t know why it was written. Suicide is so touchy, and the author had no respect for people dealing w/ suicide. I know this will seem rude to the author, but she made my friend die!
Nami
no no no i have depression the book and the tv series glorifies suicide, i was extra suicidal when i read this. stear clear!!!
Alyson Mutch
No way. This is for parents.
Angela Alvarez Quiamno
Jessica, you asked a very good question. Is this a "good read" for someone with depression or has suicidal thoughts? Although I haven't read the book, I'm still thinking if it's a good idea for me to read it. will it make me sad? will it move me to help others? Who is best suited to read this book?
First, I'd like to thank all the people who answered honestly and candidly whether it was answered 3 years ago or 3 days ago. I also appreciate the respondents who recommended other books where seeds of hope are planted in the midst of a very serious subject matter.
I agree that a better way to help a person with depression or with suicidal thoughts is to be present in his or her life. To listen, and to get professional help. Give them a reason to smile and laugh; to live one day at a time. Then this person would not feel so alone as Hannah (from the book).
Now, gathering from the comments I will not consider reading it anytime soon. I would recommend Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman by Jenn Sadai.
First, I'd like to thank all the people who answered honestly and candidly whether it was answered 3 years ago or 3 days ago. I also appreciate the respondents who recommended other books where seeds of hope are planted in the midst of a very serious subject matter.
I agree that a better way to help a person with depression or with suicidal thoughts is to be present in his or her life. To listen, and to get professional help. Give them a reason to smile and laugh; to live one day at a time. Then this person would not feel so alone as Hannah (from the book).
Now, gathering from the comments I will not consider reading it anytime soon. I would recommend Dark Confessions of an Extraordinary, Ordinary Woman by Jenn Sadai.
Belle
I think it definitely depends on the person. A lot of people had a lot of problems because of this book but it really helped me.
Mb_presents
I've decided that I'm going to answer 2 years late as well. 3 weeks ago, I watched the show based on this book in almost one go, even though I'd felt very apprehensive about the topic. However from the first episode onward it was a cathartic experience, as it made me realize how much of this loneliness Hannah felt is a state of mind. I read the book recently just after I finished the show. And I also think it depends on the state of mind of the depressed person.
Personally the story helped me feel better about my depression, because even though I could relate a lot to Hannah, it made me realize that Hannah did have options and also wasn't able to see the effect her decision would have on others. Reading/Watching the story unfold and in this case I have to say the show is even better than the book, because it adds context to the accused characters motivations drove home that it's important to be honest and to reach out for help. And that the shortcomings of others aren't a reflection of one's own worth. I would recommend the book/show if it's possible to use it to initiate an open dialogue, when someone is in such a deep dark place, a way to establish a genuine human connection is so important. So that they can see that getting help is possible..
Personally the story helped me feel better about my depression, because even though I could relate a lot to Hannah, it made me realize that Hannah did have options and also wasn't able to see the effect her decision would have on others. Reading/Watching the story unfold and in this case I have to say the show is even better than the book, because it adds context to the accused characters motivations drove home that it's important to be honest and to reach out for help. And that the shortcomings of others aren't a reflection of one's own worth. I would recommend the book/show if it's possible to use it to initiate an open dialogue, when someone is in such a deep dark place, a way to establish a genuine human connection is so important. So that they can see that getting help is possible..
Blessing
Good Afternoon
Personally I believe this book is a really good book for someone who is suicidal. The character wouldn't have committed suicide if she had known how much Clay cared about her.
She would have known she had someone who would helped her through her difficult time. Suicidal persons usually feels hopeless, alone
and often times no one cares.
So yes overall I feel it is a good way to open the floor to talk about this issue and it would offer assistance to someone dealing with this.
Personally I believe this book is a really good book for someone who is suicidal. The character wouldn't have committed suicide if she had known how much Clay cared about her.
She would have known she had someone who would helped her through her difficult time. Suicidal persons usually feels hopeless, alone
and often times no one cares.
So yes overall I feel it is a good way to open the floor to talk about this issue and it would offer assistance to someone dealing with this.
Mandy
Please if you know someone is considering suicide, get help! Tell your friend there is help available and encourage her to talk to a trusted adult. Don't wait for her to ask for more help. You should talk to a trusted adult too.
Reanna Haley (Meier)
I would say yes in the sense that her goal of reading the book, is to see the affects suicide has on people. The pain Clay experienced, and the possibility that if she lived, they would be together, alive, living, and happy.
Best thing is to have friend read it with them, or supervised. Than again it depends on the person's personal state, and what their psychiatrist thinks.
Best thing is to have friend read it with them, or supervised. Than again it depends on the person's personal state, and what their psychiatrist thinks.
Elizabeth B
For this one, I would say no. In my opinion I think that there are only two ways to watch this movie; 1) just watch the whole series in a night or two or 2) watch (listen) to the show (tapes) like Clay did. I have struggled with depression and anxiety ever since I was 11 and have had some tragic experiences happen to me, but as much as this book helped me I don't think it would help other's as much. I have been "okay" for almost a year now and this book has helped me understand that I am not alone and that there is help, even though Hannah couldnt get it.
Amy
I realize this question was written two years ago, but I do have a little insight. Whether or not to give this book to a suicidal friend, I'm going to err on the side of caution and say no. I don't think it would be helpful.
One book I would recommend to a friend who is struggling is The Memory of Light by Francisco X. Stork. It does a great job of following the journey of a girl who has recently had an unsuccessful suicide attempt, as she learns about her depression and pulls through. She realizes there is more to life than what her brain was allowing her to see. I feel it's a great book that has the potential to save lives.
Just thought I'd throw my two cents in there!
One book I would recommend to a friend who is struggling is The Memory of Light by Francisco X. Stork. It does a great job of following the journey of a girl who has recently had an unsuccessful suicide attempt, as she learns about her depression and pulls through. She realizes there is more to life than what her brain was allowing her to see. I feel it's a great book that has the potential to save lives.
Just thought I'd throw my two cents in there!
Patrick
This would not be a good book to recommend to someone who is suicidal.
Marlene Johnson
The movie is better and a tad more meaningful.
Ash Nad
Does it seem like a good idea to give a book about a teenager who committed suicide to a teenager who wants to commit suicide? I want you to think about that.
Mari
this book is quite triggering, I'd hesitate to recommend this book to suicidal people/people with depression
Zina Bektache
Hannah gave up too easily, she didn't even want to fight back or try harder and she sort of wanted to blame everyone else for the decision she already made, I hope you didn't gift this book to your friend because I believe it would only make things worse for her
Morgen
I know im lare but NO GET HER SOME HELP PLZ LET HER READ COMEDIES AND STUFF
Mariam
NO NO NO!! This is defiantly NOT a good book for one of your friends to read!!!!!
Zachary
Please, please, please I beg that if your friend is the suicidal one, you should read it.
Suicidal people should not read this book, they will see Hanna as an inspiration/heroic figure
Suicidal people should not read this book, they will see Hanna as an inspiration/heroic figure
Freckles
She needs help. Tell an adult and get her some.
About Goodreads Q&A
Ask and answer questions about books!
You can pose questions to the Goodreads community with Reader Q&A, or ask your favorite author a question with Ask the Author.
See Featured Authors Answering Questions
Learn more