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Kindle Notes & Highlights
by
Linda Hill
You might suffer from the obsessive thinking that accompanies a codependent dynamic.
Through hard work, you can rewire your brain to attach securely.
you can discover how your strength will always be within you, whether you are with someone or by yourself.
come out from under the fog of C-PTSD and realize that you are incredible and deserve to get everything you want.
other traumas can cause PTSD as well—so don't rule anything out because the brain changes any time we experience anything where our lives are in jeopardy.
And when you are living with C-PTSD, it's like you are in constant hyper-vigilance because your body is stuck in that state of trauma.
Amnesia and dissociation when it comes to the traumatic event. When someone dissociates, they experience a feeling of being disconnected from themselves. It could be as simple as zoning out when in a stressful situation or if you are trying to
Self-perception disruptions. This turmoil can induce an inability to feel at home within yourself. A disturbance in self-perception is linked to dissociation and can manifest feelings of guilt, shame, and self-loathing.
Confusing ideas about the person who abused you. This action involves rotating factors of idolization and loathing. It can become incredibly confusing and explosive when coupled with the previously mentioned symptoms.
The traumatic experience eroded trust in people, extinguishing relationships on an intimate level.
Have a constant and intense feeling of hopelessness and meaninglessness. For example, if you were once deeply religious, you may disconnect from your beliefs after the trauma.
Frequently experience physical illness and symptoms of traumatic stress.
Using the word recovery is a tricky business. You will never be cured of C-PTSD. This disorder is chronic and lifelong. Your trauma has permanently changed your brain waves. The word “recovery” in this book talks about finding the tools to live the life you want and deserve.
Those with C-PTSD have a hard time dealing with life. On certain days it can be a struggle just to get up, get dressed, and take care of yourself in a healthy and full of self-care.
Triggers can happen around you daily. You may be living in a constant state of anxiety and hyper-vigilance to the point where you can no longer sleep, eat, or take care of yourself.
When you are willing to find honesty, understand that these events weren’t your fault, and move into the shadows of your psyche (even if you are afraid), you give yourself the best chance at your best life.
Lower your guard just a bit and seek all the help you need. It will be hard, but the world needs you. You offer a new light that no one else has, and we can’t wait to see what you do.
By refraining from looking too deeply at the issues, you’re only lighting the fuse for an explosion. While symbolic, this explosion can lead to a host of self-harming situations such as adultery, theft, abusive behavior, tantrums, manipulation, and other items that may not be part of the person you truly are.
When practicing mindfulness, you observe and experience your feelings, thoughts, and sensations without judgment[5]. This statement means that you will not push anything uncomfortable away. You will just be.
routine won’t make you understand your disorder faster.
These disorders can cause insomnia, flashbacks, and nightmares. Other symptoms create a constant fear or lack of safety even when the trauma is long past.
Once symptoms appear, they can cause difficulties in romantic relationships, work situations, friendships, and even against yourself. Daily tasks can become increasingly hard, which can create significant problems with cleaning and taking care of yourself[9].
Changes in emotional or physical reactions ● Stuck in a hyper-vigilant focus, always on guard for danger. ● Easily frightened or startled. ● Engage in self-destructive behavior like driving too fast or drinking too much. ● Issues with sleep. ● Difficulty concentrating.
Feeling hopeless about the future. ● Memory loss, especially about trauma. ● Negative self-talk about yourself and thoughts about other people or the world. ● Issues maintaining friendships or close relationships. ● Detached feelings from friends and family. ● Loss of interest in things you used to enjoy. ● A tendency to feel emotionally numb. ● Have trouble expressing positive emotions[10]
PTSD can grow into C-PTSD if you continue to put yourself in the same or similar situation that leads to initial PTSD. ● You may develop issues with substance abuse by over-indulging in drugs and alcohol (mostly to numb the feelings and thoughts from your experienced trauma). ● Developing other mental disorders like anxiety, depression, or eating disorders. ● Possible suicidal thoughts or actions.
The key is to get support to work through what happened to you. When you reach out to medical doctors and mental health professionals, they can provide you with the tools and means to alleviate the normal reaction to stress you’ve encountered. Speaking with your friends and family will also give you a sense of comfort. You won’t have to see a mental health professional for a long time, but it is a good source to lean on until you get past your stress. If you are religious, you can always turn to your religious leaders for guidance.
The little things you do for yourself make a difference in whether or not PTSD will be long-term.
Those with C-PTSD have described themselves as paralyzed in fear of trauma. They always feel this way, even though they
They spend their life living looking over their shoulder. It truly keeps them from moving on.
In this way, C-PTSD is self-sabotaging. You may feel like you’re on a roll—at work with a project, at home with cleaning, with friends, or in a social environment. However, it can flip in an instant. Suddenly you’re so tired you can barely stay awake, even at work. Being around people makes you panic attacks, feel as though you’re never going to be good enough,
Anxiety ● Depression ● Social isolation ● Dissociation ● Flashbacks and nightmares about your chronic trauma ● A fixation on the abuser—you may plot revenge on them or live in fear that they will find you again. ● Have suicidal thoughts, tendencies, or ideation. C-PTSD can be so painful that suicide seems to be the only option for a release.
They allow you to feel as though you are trapped and living in a continual state of danger or distress. Many
Trust issues—you have a hard time trusting anyone. Often, your abuser was someone that you knew and trusted. This abuse shatters the ability to trust someone again without putting in some work on the matter.
Terrible self-image (that isn't close to reality)—your perception of yourself is incredibly negative. Even though you have no valid reason to feel that way, you are amazing. However, your self-image becomes wrapped up in your trauma and will lower your self-esteem exponentially. You may even feel you deserve to be punished for something you did, thereby taking the blame onto yourself instead of directing it where it belongs. ● Hurting yourself—self-harm is a terrible way to deal with painful emotions. However, it is a way that many people attempt to escape reality.
Once your brain has the trauma of sustained abuse or neglect, there isn’t a possibility of a “cure.” Instead, you can learn to manage symptoms and redirect your neural pathways into building a new train of thought that will allow you to live an active and healthy life. This process is a working one and will not be resolved in a short time.
When things seem the bleakest, it means that you’re getting to the heart of the issue. It means that the light will be coming sooner than you realize it.
redirecting how you connect stress to prolonged trauma.
breathing exercises and muscle relaxation. They are for those who need help defending themselves when they engage in negative self-talk and heightened reactions.
Medication helps your C-PTSD brain because, since your traumatic event, it will process things (related or closely related) to the event differently. Your mind will take on a “fight or flight” response that will be quickly triggered, along with a constant state of hyper-vigilance that may cause you to shut down your emotions and spur on physical illnesses.
you can write down goals for yourself when you are healed and have a firm grasp on your healing process.
Think about the person you want to be. How do you see yourself? What do you hope to be doing? How do you see yourself doing it?
You’re never going to stop making goals, especially after you find your ability to reach them. Anything you can think of is possible. You just have to find the best way to get on the right track.
The negative voices in your head that tell you whatever happened to you is due to something you did that is wrong. The pain you feel from what happened is normal, but it is not your fault.
You sit behind the wheel and decide what kind of life you want.
Instructions: Take a few days and write down anything that comes to mind. When you are done, look at the goals you’ve set forth for yourself. Find the one that speaks to you the most, and set out a plan.
Only when you choose to suppress traumatic emotions are you truly in danger of infecting your life with the side effects.
You may even subconsciously self-sabotage because, on some deep level, your traumatic event tells you that you do not deserve happiness and cannot achieve success.
You deserve the best life. You deserve to get what you want. The trauma that happens to you does not have to define you; you can take back control and learn what you’re made of.
term “secure attachment” will become something you grow familiar with. The likelihood of developing a secure attachment to anyone is terribly slim when you have C-PTSD.
The problem isn’t the other person and isn’t technically “you” either. Instead, it results from the trauma and the idea that no one and nothing can be trusted.
