Recovery from Narcissistic Abuse, Gaslighting, Codependency and Complex PTSD (4 Books in 1): Workbook and Guide to Overcome Trauma, Toxic Relationships, ... and Recover from Unhealthy Relationships)

by Linda Hill

If your caregivers choose relationships over you. Explain that observation. If one or both of your parents didn’t know how to be a parent, it would affect you.

Sometimes, someone you love and believe supports you will have you questioning your judgment and experiences. They may love and support you, but they may not understand what you’re going through because they never went through it themselves.

Another possibility is that they don’t understand what you’re doing for yourself because they wouldn’t do it for themselves (at least not yet).

You aren’t healing yourself for other people’s approval,

Tending to your mental health is not an easy task because it is so uncomfortable. It’s more uncomplicated to let life pull you by the strings and move through the waves while stuffing all your issues below the surface.

You may realize that you hate how you feel and want it to stop

There will be moments when it gets overwhelming, which is where the “always unhappy” feeling sets in. This will be the juncture where you will start thinking about quitting the healing process—and while only you know what is best for you—try not to give it up. You are very close to a breakthrough if you’re tired, emotional, and just had enough.

what you are experiencing presently.

Complex PTSD has made a few adjustments to your brain, so you are in the phase of getting to know yourself.

Little steps toward the right train of thought will rewrite and rewire your brain so you’ll have less intrusive thoughts coming

I am nervous that I said or did the wrong thing because people who abused me always told me it was my fault when they did something to me.

I make sure to listen as much as I talk to make sure everyone feels heard and part of the group.

Rewriting the narrative: I had a lot of fun with my friends. We laughed and talked together for a long time. It seems like everyone enjoyed themselves.

Journal, Journal, Journal—getting your thoughts out of your head will make room for different and more vibrant thoughts to come. They

Brain dumps are an amazing tool that can get any anxiety out of your brain and body and help you realize what triggered the anxiety.

Complex PTSD isn’t a condition that goes away by ignoring it; when you ask for help from someone, you give yourself the biggest gift you can. Talking about your intrusive thoughts and getting your counselor’s perspective can provide you with insight and professional opinions on how to best tackle the unpleasant issue[62].

While it is natural to feel as though your entire world has shattered, remind yourself that if something is destroyed, it can be built back up—usually

usually better than ever before and exactly how you want it to be.

Start small. Set realistic goals that are attainable within a few hours or days.

Find social support and avoid isolation. Now, more than ever, you'll need help feeling loved. With C-PTSD, there will be times when it is painful to love yourself. That is when you will need the most support from outside sources—even if you want to crawl under your blanket and hibernate. You have C-PTSD because you were abused and neglected, which you did not deserve. Be the caretaker you never had and reach out to someone that can give you the support you need right when you need it most.

You may find yourself thinking that something can't be done because it appears like you've hit a roadblock, but instead, you'll have to train yourself to know that there are always alternative options.

Workout. Each day exercise, even if it is just a ten to fifteen-minute routine to start with. Give yourself mild activity that can help increase your well-being and reduce stress.

It is essential for your well-being that you can identify things to bring a little delight into your world for a short time.

The more you inspire yourself, the more you want to keep going.

Trauma affects your body, mind, and emotions on many levels. As an adult, you may have reactions you don't understand or believe you're behaving in a way that contradicts your personality. You may live in a lot of confusion.

Instead of healing from the wounding event, the trauma stays in our body as energy in our unconscious, affecting our life until we uncover it and process it out. The healthy flow and processing of distressing emotions, such as anger, sadness, shame, and fear, is essential to healing from childhood trauma as an adult[67]

when you grow up in an abusive household, you cannot absorb the abuse until you leave that environment. Chances are because that abuse is what you’ve grown up with, you find a relationship that meets the needs of your comfort level. This action will keep you in the abused state until you decide it is time to stop. When you make that choice for yourself, you are creating personal agency.

Remind yourself that the uncomfortable sensation will be gone soon. Know that it will help you heal.

Productively expressing your emotions is vital to moving through the recovery process.

You can write letters to those who have hurt you, you don’t have to have any intention of sending them, but it is an effective practice to move through emotion and learn to let go.

Borrow rituals from different spiritual places.

You deserve to be happy, whole and supported. You deserve to love yourself.